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Tuesday, 31 July 2007

Finish Dark Tower Series

Well, nothing of note today.

But I did finish the Dark Tower Series.

It's an epic story told in seven books, each book consisting of around 700/750 pages.  It's not exactly for children...

'The Dark Tower is a series of seven books by American writer Stephen King that tells the tale of lead character Roland Deschain's quest for the "Dark Tower." The Dark Tower is often described in the novels as a real structure, and also as a metaphor. Part of Roland's fictional quest lies in discovering the true nature of the Tower. The series incorporates themes from multiple genres, including fantasy fiction, science fantasy, horror, and western elements. King has described the series as his magnum opus; beside the seven novels that comprise the series proper, many of his other books are related to the story, introducing concepts and characters that come into play as the series progresses.'

 That's what the introduction to the Wikipedia article says.  It pretty much sums it up.  Here's the article: The Dark Tower (series)

Now, this series has been the reason why Harry Potter has been left unread by me - a horrible fact that I found out at the party: I was the only one who didn't read the last HP book (except for Sammi, but she doesn't count).

But I don't honestly care.  Ok, maybe I care about Dobby's death - there I said it!  But the series has been awesomely fun to read, and the ending - I reckon - was better than the HP series ending.

As you may, or may not, know.  In the final HP book, it's something about HP and Ginny get together.  Ron and Hermoine getting together (obviously).  And some other stuff.  Like Lupin dying and stuff.  And I've heard Dobby's death was the most emotional.  Plus, JK does all that "19 years later" crap, which is good for tying up loose ends I suppose.  And they have children and stuff, so does Draco!

Anyway, in the DT series the ending is much better.  The group is split up, a ton of people are dead - but due to the non-linear nature of the series, two technically "come back to life" through traveling to a different world.  BUT the best part of it was the part at the end.  Roland walks over to the door... opens it... to find... desert!  LMAO!  You won't get this, but the first book started in the desert!  So basically, he's just been looped back to the very (well, not quite) of his quest for the Dark Tower and he has to do it ALL again!  LMAO.  Although, he doesn't remember doing it before.

So, yeah.  The DT has a better ending.

Additionally, the poll (on the left, retard) has finished.  And it seems the majority (over 90% or something, by my calcs) seem to think that all in fine and dandy with the graphics and stuff.  Which is good.

And I expect it to be so.

Gotta think of a new poll now.

How about: 'Ninjas or Pirates?'  or 'Cake or Pie?'

I'm unsure...

I guess I'll think about it.

Oh, and just in case any of you missed it.  The one and only picture I got of Lewis' Party:

Then the stuff I said yesterday, because I am lazy:

Well, here is the only picture I've been sent of the party. Either the people with cameras have some inexplicable reason why all their cameras all just suddenly stopped working... Or they're all just lazy fu*kers. I think it's the latter.

As you can see in the picture. Gavin is pissed out of his mind, and is drinking Carlsberg which he swears on his face of his mother that he cannot remember doing. I'm generally enjoying myself. While Kate... she's really enjoying herself.
You wouldn't like to see what's happening underneath...


Kate's going to kill me.

Anyway, onward with the story!

Although I wish Gavin would keep to a regular posting schedule, it's a pain posting after myself.  I always leave so open-ended conclusions... :P

The party started almost instantly.  They weren't scared of the massive mechs at all.  It was amazing!  It was even better than the last party.  Although a lot of kids asked if they could ride in the mechs, or at least be carried around on it.

Seeing as I was in a good mood.  I agreed.  Gavin did too.

This carried on for the better part of 2 hours.  Until we finally decided that was enough.  We sat down to enjoy some nice, quiet drinking time to ourselves... only to be bombarded with presents from locals.

Just imagine this scene:
Random Japanese Man:  Here, a present for you.

Me:  Ah... ok.  Except I've got that present like 10 times already.

RJM:  What?!  You not like?  *starts crying*

Me:  Oh for f*cks sake.  Yes, I like.

RJM:  Really?  *stops crying*  YATTAI!

Me:  Damn... how many more times...

This happened a lot.

Eventually, we got tired and decided to sneak away.  The plan was a stroke of genius.  I'll show you exactly what happened:
Me:  Just excuse me, I need to do my business...

RJM:  Oh... what is your business?

Me:  Er... I meant I need the toilet.

RJM:  Oh, should have said.

Me:  Ok...

Gavin:  Oh yea.  I got... er... business to do as well.

RJM:  What?  Together?

Gavin:  I guess.

RJM recoils in fear.  Homophobe.  We scurry away as fast as possible.

We got away.  Lewis was still back at the party, relishing in the attention.  Glen was no where to be seen.  Probably making some hocus pocus potions or something.

Gavin and I found a suitable spot atop a large rock, just outside of town.  I sat down.  A moment later he sat down beside me.

I looked up at the moon and it was a full moon tonight.

I exclaimed:  'Oh wow!  Look at that!  A full moon.  Now... all I need is some alcohol...'

'What you mean this?'  Gavin said as he placed his hand inside his jacket.  Only to pull out 2 large bottles of beer, or sake, I didn't care.

'Sweet.  Where did you get those?'  I asked, taking a swig after saying it.

Gavin also drank a bit and replied:  'When  we were leaving.  See, I'm not just a pretty face.'  He said the last bit while pointing to his face.

We laughed.  And that night we talked, laughed and got pissed under the full moon.

I'll leave you with that disturbingly happy picture.

Monday, 30 July 2007

Party: Brief After-thoughts...

Now that I have a clear mind, the party was quite good. And a lot of things happened, but my mind still prevents me from finding out what they are...

It's probably something so horrifying that my mind has needed to 'lock away and throw away the key into a bottomless chasm of self-depravation and regret' these thoughts so my mind needn't be shattered into millions of teeny tiny, hurtful pieces. So, yea. I think it's for the good.

Oh and I just saw this on the news and it's on my mind; so I thought I'd talk a bit about it.

What? Me watching the news? Me actually aware at current events?

WTF happened at the party? You may be asking...

No no, it's nothing like that. At least I don't think so... I'm not sure about my subconscious though, it's (although I'm convinced a lot of times it's 'his') thoughts always elude me.

Anyway, back on-topic. It was something about sexual predators and pedophiles using the internet. Turning teen websites, such as TeenSpot and MySpace, into a dirt-infested, sexual predator playground of... er... sex.

And the government is issuing laws to toughen rules and restrictions on 'sites that have young users' so that they won't be as exposed. That's bullsh*t.

Have you seen the 'ultimate fail-safe that kids won't see NSFW stuff' on mature sites? It's basically the following (or a variation of it):

Are you over 18 (or 21, depends):


Ok, I'm no rocket scientist (despite many people saying so) but that's not exactly going to stop kids from entering mature sites. Come on. It's literally as easy as pressing: 'Yes'

Hell, I think a lot of adult sites fail to do even that.

If they can't improve that, then what's the point of doing all this business about censorship and banning accounts or whatever.

Basically it's the actual kids and parents faults. Firstly, if your so stupid that you get lured in by a simple 'oh wow, u luk awesome' or 'u is 1337' then your an idiot. And I've seen cases (yea, no joke) where the person is tricked like this (names are changed for protection of innocent):

Child_ X: Hey, people! I'm new and I'm a child.

Big_Mean_Predator_man: Wot's your address and personal details?

Child_X: Oh, here they are...

If that's not stupid, I don't know what is.

Anyway, I've ranted enough about this abhorrent situation that could probably be resolved if the internet was destroyed in one, big, malicious, mal-ware, ad-ware, virus, Trojan attack which means the world is forever plunged into darkness, due to the virus affecting the sun attack... *sigh*

But I don't want that to happen.

I bet you never knew I had a serious side, right?

The story... right.

My hand hovers over the black button with the skull on it...

I pressed.

I held my breath...

Nothing happened.

'WTF? That was lame.' I sighed. 'Gavin, that sucked.'

'I guess yours doesn't have an awesome-' He couldn't finish. The weird voice butted in again.


'WTF? Transform? Yea! That's what I'm talking about! It'd be just like in the movie!' I manage to shout out in the brief pause, the voice continued.

'SUIT CHOSEN... SPEED-SUIT.' I'm not criticizing the people who made these mechas, but that's a pretty crappy name for such an awesome thing.

With that the view changed from the cockpit. A clear plexi-glass visor was placed over the robots eyes I was viewing from. It displayed all manners of information about the stuff around me. It showed that the DK had a vital weakness in his armour. The intersection where his tail joins with his body.

'SPEED INCREASE 2000%' Then the voice stopped talking. I could see a bar come up on screen labeled 'Speed' and it continued to rise to the top.

'Right. If what the weird robot voice said was right... then I should be able to do this!'

With that I jolted a movement that landed me right behind the DK.

Gavin managed to let out a 'WT-' and before he was finished I sliced the DK's tail right off. With ease.

I looked down at my swords and they had turn an eerie shade of blue, and were whipping about incessantly. So much, in fact, that they were almost a blur.

'How the hell did you do that? Your mecha has changed it's look as well! It's now kinda blue-ish.' Gavin asked.

'Big black button with a skull on.' I replied calmly, and a little smug - but I hid this.

'That's frickin awesome. Totally need this robot to do this.'

It looked like Gavin had also pressed a button, and they same 'TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE INITIATED' voice came out. Proceeded with the same things afterwards. Except, instead of saying 'SPEED-SUIT' it said 'POWER-SUIT'

The DK, meanwhile, was still worried about his tail. But it had started to grow back. It was already grown back halfway already! Yet, it looked like it took some time and concentration to achieve this remarkable feet.

'We've got to end this now!' I told Gavin. I looked over at his mecha and his now looked red-ish. He moved forward a step and produced cracks on the floor.

'Sweet! Let's get this over with! You hit him from behind, I'll tackle the front of him!' Gavin shouted at me. I simply nodded and jumped right behind the DK.

'This is the end for you.' I said calmly, as the DK looked up. His face terrified.

I sliced cleanly again where his tail joined his body. He let out an almighty cry of terror. And before he could stop Gavin had plowed through him in an unstoppable charge.

'That was kinda easy.' Gavin said.

'Yea, it was. With these awesome mechs.' I "powered-down" the suit and leapt out.

Gavin did the same.

We walked back over to the others, who were stood there. Wide-eyed, jaws-dropped.

Lewis was struggling to speak. Gimely meanwhile looked like he was in the middle of a heart-attack.

'Ah-ha-hi-ha-ho' Gimely was struggling to speak. His breathing erratic. He finally calmed down, and said: 'HOLY FU*K THAT WAS AWESOME!'

We agreed and people gathered around us. It was as if that was a signal for celebration to begin.

Another party, huh? I don't mind...

I guess Elbaf will have to wait...

UPDATE: Well, here is the only picture I've been sent of the party. Either the people with cameras have some inexplicable reason why all their cameras all just suddenly stopped working... Or they're all just lazy fu*kers. I think it's the latter.

As you can see in the picture. Gavin is pissed out of his mind, and is drinking Carlsberg which he swears on his face of his mother that he cannot remember doing. I'm generally enjoying myself. While Kate... she's really enjoying herself.

You wouldn't like to see what's happening underneath...


Kate's going to kill me.

DK vs Mecha

Lewis's party was amazing
WJUK nearly fell off the the banister, he was dangling off it it was pretty funny, i know he mentioned it but it was funny.
Also pile on's were happening, I recall one near the front door when i jumped off the stairs on to everyone picked up a bat and was hitting someone with it, it seemed like fun at the time.

On with story:

Armed with Mecha's with huge swords DK looked really worried now but he said as he has done before 'You won't be able to defeat me!'

WJUK mecha was slightly bigger than mine, it was probably stronger in attack but weak in defence.

I glanced around the cockpit of my mecha, gazing at various buttons, one stood out to me, it was small and nuclear green. 'Hey WJUK, do you have a small nuclear green button?' I curiously asked.

'Nope, I have a small black one with a skull on it' WJUK said, 'I aint pressing, it might blow up'

'I don't know, I have a feeling the self destruct button is the red un' I said back, resisting myself from pushing the green button.

'Just don't do anything stupid, Okay?' WJUK said with a laugh, 'Besides we can mess around later, right now we have DK to get rid off'' WJUK was serious now, all jokes stopped.

'Let's do this' I said back while gripping the controls but by this time WJUK had started to move in for the first attack with his new mecha.

WJUK swung his swords and DK his tail, the shockwaves what came off the attack was immense, Lewis had to cover his face and stand firmly to stop from getting blown away, WJUK attack was alittle rough moving but it was his first time, but his power was immense. DK's tail was undamaged, had his skin got tougher?

I pushed forward on the controls and my mecha dashed foward and swung both my swords at DK's head knowing beheading him was the only way to kill him but he got his arms up and blocked them, the attack was weaker than WJUK's. DK tail swung round and hit my mecha in what would be the my ribs. The mecha stumble back and my side were the attack would of hit me stung. The Mecha was connected to me mentally as well as physical, I had to be more careful.

'You alright?' WJUK asked.

'Yeah, but we take damage aswell as the Mecha be careful' I replied while still recovering from the blow.

WJUK took another swing at DK who spun to dodge it and wrapped WJUK sword's in his tail and held them tight and then jumped on top of my mecha knocking us to the floor and then start pounding his fists into the head.

I had to think quick, WJUK was tied up and I was getting punched in the face.

I reached forward and pushed the small nuclear green button and hoped for the best. My swords retracted and two plasma cannons swapped with them and photon missle launcher came out of my shoulders and a message popped up and the screen and a voice echoed 'Nuclear weapon mode entered.'

'Sweet!' WJUK excitely said to me 'How did you do that?'

'1 minute' I said back and pressed the red button which came out on the top of the controls, the photon missles fired at DK and sent him flying off and released WJUK swords. 'I pressed the small green button i told you about'

'Sweet, my turn' WJUK said as he reached out and pressed the black button with the skull on it...

Sunday, 29 July 2007

Party @ Lewis' House

Ok, so... about the party...

Well, I got there for 6:00 only to find a bunch of people; out in the garden; (about 10) were already there.  And drinking.  *glug glug*

Well, all was fine and dandy.  People kept on coming.  Daisy & Laura came along, pretty much already drunk already.

Until Tom B & Alex came along...

Then all HELL broke loose.

First of all.  They went into the house without a word.  But more surprisingly: without a drink.  OMFG, you may be thinking...  I'm agreeing.

Well, they spent about 10 minutes in there; I think.  Maybe more.  But all you need to know is the following:

They came out of the house.  All's fine, right?  Nope.  They came out with a sex doll.  LMAO.  It was promptly dubbed 'Filliper Crakin'  or something rudely along those lines.  And was also thrown into Lewis' face.  Nice.

They following minutes were spent messing etc. with the doll.  In a (relatively) non-sexual way - may I add.  Anyway, eventually it was mostly forgotten about.

Then we slowly, but surely, moved into the house.  We started around a (small) table outside.  Then moved onto the patio.  Then physically into the house.  It took about 40/50 minutes for the room in the house to be firmly established as part of the partying area.  And it had food.  That was cold.  Damn.  Pringles and fingers were there to eat, which was fine.  Also, by now.  TWO, yes two bottles had been smashed "accidentally" already.  The first one wasn't as bad.  It cracked all the way down the neck of the bottle.  Then Kate came along, intent on having the 'best bottle smash of the party award' and "accidentally" dropped from about 2 feet her bottle.  Guess what?  Yea, SMASH.  Was hilarious.

By this time, Sammi was drunk.  Not all that surprising.  And she had already started dancing wildly - on her own - to the music.  At one point, me and Ashley were sat on the sofas just laughing at her insane antics.  She was sat right next to the stereo and was waving her head about and everything; oblivious to everything and everyone around her.  You had to be there to understand the moment of pure funniness in speaking.

The night wore on.  And soon it was dark.  Tom L was drunk upstairs, I mean, literally falling-down drunk.  He was just sleeping up there for about an hour.  Matthew was also drunk, dancing around with Sammi, and managing to land on everyone AND stand on everyone's toes.  And it hurts.  Filliper Crackin had burst, in a very humorous fashion.  Gavin was already out of Bud, and I only had a few.  But the party carried on.

For reasons, that I can whole-heartedly understand, we weren't really allowed upstairs.  Only to go to the toilet.  But that didn't stop us.  So that meant... hardly anyone falling down the ridiculously weird stairs leading up to Lewis' room (in the attic).  But someone did anyway.  Sammi.  Damn.  Guess my predictions were slightly wrong, but it was close.

I recall one point, when I was still relatively sober (I believe), I intentionally slid down the banister.  Rather unsuccessfully.

A bunch of other stuff happened.  But it's hard to recall.  Er... quite a lot of times, Mike was spread-eagle on the floor.  Which includes outside, on the muddy ground.  Which automatically meant the room inside was trashed.  I'm not joking.  It smelt of beer, had mud all over the floor - at least I think it's mud... it was brown...

What was also funny was the state of the kitchen.  For some unexplainable reason, people kept knocking over drinks in there.  And then would attempt to cover it up with tissues.  But after the first two 'incidents' we were out of tissues.  So, when I knocked over a can of beer, we just threw a oven glove onto the floor and proceeding to use our feet to wipe the floor.  ONE OVEN GLOVE!  Oh, the humanity.  The other must be crying for it's dead partner.

And through all of that.  Lewis' parents were there.  At first, maybe for the first 2 hours, they went around and did stuff.  But after that.  They just sat there and did nothing.  Just left us to our own devices.  They didn't looked bothered at all.

Lemme think now... what else... oh there was a bit - before we got told not to be upstairs - where I threw a bottle cap out of Lewis' room window.  And it didn't hit anyone.  Damn.  I was also tempted to throw Filliper Cracking out of the window.

Oh, there was also some exercising equipment in the garage.  Which lead to some humorous situations where Tom B was attempting to 'pump up his guns' - his biceps, for all ghetto-speak illiterate people out there - and a girl, who I've forgotten the name of already, was telling him to stop.  He was hardly getting anywhere, since I put it to the max setting.  It was still funny watching him try.

That's about all that I can remember.  If I remember any more, I'll post it tomorrow.

Pictures should be up soon, or tomorrow... or whenever I feel like bothering to get them off Kate.  She should have a load, I spent quite a lot of time just running around the house like a crazed mad-man with a knife... only substitute the knife with a camera.

That also reminds me of my death prediction... apparently, I'll be killed by a crazed man with an ice-skate.  Nice.

Now, for the story.

And like Gavin said yesterday, we actually discussed - I know, it's insane - about which direction the story should go.  And it ended up insanely.  And I mean insanely.  Let's just say... there were talks about:

  • Vikings, that live on a place called Elbaf.  Which is situated in the stratosphere of Earth.  They're in the middle of a war with an alien race called... something... but basically they are protecting the earth.  Oh, and they're giants.  Oh, and the aliens have giant claymores.
  • Mechas.  This was obviously thrown out.  But we've actually decided to include this in the near future, so no spoilers today!
  • There was something about being spilt up again.  But I don't recall much about it... and I cba to check the chat history.

There was some other insane ideas thrown into the mix, mostly by me.  But those were a few of the best.

Anyway, to the story!  Hi-ho!

Gimely said: 'Oh! And I have something to tell you...'

With those words two giant mecha robots were thrown - and I mean thrown - out of the ground.  Even the DK stopped his current rampage of destruction to see what the commotion was about.

'Gimely... those are...'  I said, feeling weak at the knees.

'Yes, they are uber-mecha-robots.  You like?'  Gimely said smugly.  'I found them while on an excavating mission in the north pole.'  Cliche.  ' That's why my stay was delayed.'

'Sweet mother of Jesus's giant balls of fire!'  Was Lewis' response at the sight of the giant iron beings.  That were now hurtling back down to earth (at least, I think it's earth) after being thrown up into the sky.

'Totally awesome, right?'  No one answered.  At least I didn't hear anyone answer.  As the two giant mechas landed on the ground.  It was a match for the now-giant DK.  Just like in power-rangers.  I thought.  Kill the dude.  He's revived bigger and meaner.  Everytime.

Without needing to be asked, Gavin and I jumped jumped into the mechas.  Power rangers style.  We sorta just teleported in.  Weird.

But no time to be freaked out by the awesome power we just gained.

Gimely was shouting from below:  'HEY!  WAIT A SEC!  WE HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO PILOT-'

My mecha moved.  It put it's right foot forward, in a very impressive fashion.  I looked over to Gavin who had also managed to move his mecha forward.

They must move on mind-power.

But I looked forward.  And there were still some buttons on the control panel in front.  I wonder what they do...

And decided to press a random button.  I paid explicit notice to the colour and size of the button.  Making sure not to push anything along the lines of: big, round and red.  Like a self-destruct button.  Clever, huh?

I went for a blue, relatively small button that was on it's own.  Inside a smoothly drawn black box.  A voice bellowed out from some unseeable speakers.

'&^%&#%&@%#&$*%'  Basically gibberish and jargon, that was made up of some nonsensical beeps and tones.  'LANGUAGE DETECTION COMPLETE.'  English.  Weird.  'LANGUAGE DETECTED... ENGLISH.'

The strange scribing on the control panel now changed.  Started to swirl then slowed again.  And when I looked back, they were English.

I noticed a "CALL" button and decided to press it.  Gavin's picture came up on screen.

'WTF?  How'd you do that?'  Gavin immediately said.

I replied quickly, as the DK now looked like he's had enough of the new-fangled gadgets and would like to dispose of them.  'Press the blue button in it's own box.'  I heard the same series of beeps and tones.  And the same "LANGUAGE DETECTION COMPLETE."

'AWESOME!'  Gavin shouted down.  'Time to work this thing.'

I attempted to concentrate and move the damn thing but it just wouldn't budge.  It would move slightly then stop.  And it took a hella alot of concentration.

Gavin was doing the same.  I saw him close his eyes and focus.

My focus and concentration was blown away when the same voice that said "LAGUAGE DETECTION COMPLETE." said: 'MIND-POWER INSUFFICIENT.  SWITCHING TO MANUAL DRIVE'  And from under the control panel came what looks like two grips.  I grabbed them immediately.  The DK was now charging towards me at a frightening pace.

I felt like I was filled with power and had full control over this giant thing.

Gavin was in the same predicament as me.  The grips have also come out at roughly the same time.  And he also wasted no time.

The DK was now directly in front of me, and was ever-so-close to actually knocking the mecha down.  Then I gestured to the side, and instantly the mecha reacted.  It jumped to the left and avoided the attack.  The DK spun, the  circled and decided to aim for Gavin.

Gavin also started to get his bearings on the mecha.  Moving relatively fluently around the place.

'This isn't going to work.  We're going to need some firepower.'  I told Gavin.  Who agreed.

I looked around the control panel to find nothing containing the words: weapon, sword, gun.  I even tried looking for blaster, to no avail.

I dodged another of DK's incoming attacks.  There's got to be something.

The DK charged at me again.  And this time, I reacted instinctively and did the motion to unsheathe my swords.


I had my eyes closed at this part.  Then opened them again.  To find I was holding two (gigantic) swords.  Fending off the DK.

'OMFG.  How'd you do that?  They just materialized out of nowhere!'  Gavin asked, rather jealously.

'I just reacted instinctively.  I went to draw my sword, then... this happened.'  Gavin also did his sword-drawing motion, to find that his swords also materialized.

Now, we're serious.

Stay tuned for the conclusion of this perilous clash of the titans!

Saturday, 28 July 2007

Lewis's Party + DK returns

Well, as WJUK has already said it's Lewis party tonight so tomorrow we will have a full story on it tomorrow, it will be filled with drunk people, hopefully no one will be sick aswell but anyways on with the story.

WJUK left it when DK had returned and we had yet again another fight on our hands.

WJUK was already slicing away at DK but he was regenerating when I got to the street.

'Any ideas this time?' I asked WJUK while dismounting the horse.

'Nope, just play it out and hope for something to go in our favour.' WJUK said, this was the first time he was completely out of ideas in a long time.

I took and a deep breath and then broke out into a sprint towards DK who was laughing 'You can't defeat me!'

WJUK was also in a middle of sprinting toward DK, none of us had no idea what to do, this attack seemed hopeless. We needed help and quick.

Both of attacks seemed hopeless as we retreated to re-group and maybe have a small idea come to us

'This is hopeless' I said to WJUK who was breathing heavy just like I was.

'I know but these people have faith in us, we have to do something!' WJUK replied, he was angry as was I

Then the small pool of darkness appeared near us, just like the one we used to get here

'Gimely? Is that you?' WJUK said

'Who else would it be? Leaving me behind when you went out adventuring' Gimely yelled back

'Hey! This is no time to be arguing with us Gimely, Look behind you!' I yelled back

Gimely turned around 'OMFG! I wished I had stayed home now'

'How did you track us down anyways?' WJUK asked

'I put a tracker in Lewis's head before I left, I knew you guys would leave without me!' Gimely said he was being serious but with alittle humour intended 'Oh! and i have something to tell you....'

What does Gimely want to tell us, find out tomorrow, I left if open cos WJUK is excited about this next part, its the first time we discussed what we are doing for a long time =P

Party today!

Today's Lewis birthday party - although I'm sure his birthday was yesterday.  Nevermind.

Well, lemme see...

Not much else is happening.  The only real thing of note was what Gavin said to me yesterday about the post I did.  In these exact words:

'Your post makes me sound like a pervert.'

Along those lines anyway.  And we all know, it is mostly true.  LOL

By the way, random fact.  Pervert in Japanese is: 'Hentai'

But in western culture... let's just say 'hentai'  has a quite different meaning...

I've been browsing around a website called 'Oddee.'  And they have some funny stuff.


10 Unfortunate Business Names - LMAO at 'WTF' and 'Mammoth Erection.'

15 Unfortunately Placed Ads - Another really good one.

It's the second coming...

10 Real-Life Superheroes - Do you believe?

There's some other stuff there which is quite funny too.

Enough of plugging other sites though.

Now, I know I said EBA was insane yesterday.  Some may not have believed me.  So I thought I'd post a video of it's insaneness.

Trust me.  It is insane.

>Click image for larger, clearer image.





Please note that the video shows the replay - which is another awesome feature in the game.  If he was playing real time in the video, you wouldn't be able to see the screen.  So it's for the best.

To the story now...  and I have no idea what to do for it.

We rejoin our heroes just as they were about to leave the town, and maybe that time.  For good.

'You get everything packed?'  I asked Lewis as he was walking out the house with a giant bag.

'I think so.  It's more gold than I'll ever need... but, who doesn't want more gold?'  Lewis chuckles at his own joke.

Glen then comes out of the house, with nothing.  'It's about time I bid farewell to you as well.  As I'm sure you know, I'll be staying here.'

I nod.  'It's for the best.  You can probably take on some of the rogue demons that still happen to be around.'  He agrees and spouts something about national duty and crap.  I stop listening.  Then butt in.  'Besides, you'd get all the women, money and food.'

Glen blushes, looks down at his feet and shakes his head slowly.  'That's not true...'  He shuffles, still blushing, back into the house.  I laugh at this sight.  Reminds me of Gimely, I wonder what he's doing now...

<Cut to back home>
Gimely:  'I'm back!  Huh, there's no one here!'
Sees sign.
'What the?  *Reads out loud*  Sorry Gimely.  If you're reading this we're still on an adventure.  We'll be back soon.  Promise.  *Squints eyes to read small print*  Not.
<Cut back to feudal time Japan - the one with monsters and magic>

I laugh at the idea of Gimely seeing the sign.  We'd been doing quite a lot of laughing lately and have been taking it easy.

A hand touches my shoulder.  I turn fast, attempting to draw my swords.  But finding nothing there, I left them inside the house.

It was Gavin.  'I told you not to do that.'  I said.  Returning to a normal standing pose.

'Sorry.  Didn't mean to scare you like that.'  He looks up at the clear blue sky.  'You know.  I'm gonna miss this place.'

'And the women.'  I add in.

Gavin and I have another hearty laugh.  'Why am I always perceived as the pervert?'  Gavin says, half-laughing.

'Because... because... I don't know actually.  I'd have thought we'd perceive Lewis as the perverted one.'  I reply back, scratching my head.

'I heard that!'  Lewis shouts in the distance.  Still packing his stuff.  I look over and he's attempting to pack as much of the good food we've had these last few weeks onto the donkeys.  Dumbass.  That food won't last 3 days in the heat.

'Well, I guess it makes sense.  In a group of males; there's always the: stupid one, the perverted one, the leader one and the random guy whose part in the story makes no sense at all.'

'Touche.'  Gavin walks off, back into the house.  Probably to pack some more stuff.

I decide to take a rest for a while.  The last few nights I've been quite... how'd you say... quite busy.  I smirk without knowing.  Walk over to the porch at the side of the house and proceed to lay down on one of the wooden deck chairs.  It was hot to the touch, but I got use to it.

'RAAAAAAAARRRRR!!!'  A roar from... omfg... the street where DK was killed.

Fu*k, I knew something was wrong.  I thought as I jumped up.

'Hey everyone!  The fight's not finished yet!'  I yell towards the house.  I whistle for my horse, who immediately ditches all the package on his back and comes straight for me.

I leap over the waist-high fence and onto the saddle.  'I'm going ahead!  Meet you there!'

Just as I rode off, I saw Gavin running out of the house and jumping - in one fluid motion - onto his horse.  Lewis was not far behind.  Holding up what seems to be his trousers.  He was on the toilet.  LMAO.

No sign of Glen though.

I reach the start of the street and stop.

I look up, not quite believing what I'm seeing.  It was the DK.

H-he revived himself...

It seems our heroes work is not finished here.  That means more OOT ACTION!

Friday, 27 July 2007

EBA... ~ Party Tomorrow

Sorry about yesterday.  :P

I didn't mean to forget to blog, but I was busy...

It's just that we have 8 people in the house - pretty much permanently for 2 weeks - and most, if not all, want to get onto the computer.  So it'd pretty hectic and everything.  But I fought off all contenders today in a BR-style, all-out, free-for-all...  rock paper scissors game.


And I also picked up EBA (Elite Beat Agents - DS) yesterday.  And I gotta say it's frickin' insane!

If you've known me long enough: 'frickin insane' pretty much means 'f*cking awesome!'

And it is.

It's basically a rhythm-based game, which I call DDR for your hands.  That's fun.  Sure.

But what makes it OOT-awesome is the story, animation, male cheerleaders.


You can't really call it that.  It's just individual people (or a dog, in one case) that need help.  And after a relatively long - but very amusing - process of assessing the situation, Commander Kahn just shouts: 'AGENTS ARE... GO!'  Then your off.

Then things get really out of hand.  In the first song/story chapter thing alone, you see a dude throw a hot dog into a kid's mouth, throw a kid (who's about to burst - if you get what I mean) onto a toilet and finally catch a kid skateboarding off a bannister.

And it gets crazier...

Let's just say... the grand finale is nothing less than... an ALIEN INVASION!  Oh wait, did I just say that out loud?  I meant it's awesome.


It's comic/manga style.  And adds to the unique and quirky feel of this game.  Basically, awesome.

Male Cheerleaders

Well, technically they are 'Elite Beat Agents' but male cheerleaders sounds so much better.  Dun't it?  They use the power of song, music and rhythm to solve people's problems (and in one case: bring a person back from the dead).

Definitely worth checking out, even if it's just a rental.

Oh and Lewis' party is tomorrow.  And it's gonna be awesome.

We're taking bets on who will fall down the stairs first - you know those awkward stairs that Lewis has.

I'm currently placing my bet on Ashley, seeing as he hurts himself the most.  His count it up to like 10. 

  • Stood on a (very very very small) nail.
  • Hurt his hand bowling (...bowling? - remember)
  • Got kicked in the foot by... Charlie, I think it was.
  • Some other stuff.

His odds are currently 2 - 1.  Coming in a close second is Daisy with 4 - 1 (which is surprising, really).  And after that, it's anyone's guess.  Probably Lewis with 7 - 1.

But I'll see how it goes tomorrow.


You know where to get all the gossip and information, right here.  On this blog.

Story... hm...

Gavin seemed to have ended the fight, but what will happen next?

The DK was down.

'Yattai!'  Glen shouted.  (Translation - "I did it!"  Even though he did hardly anything)

People flowed into the streets and rejoiced at the fall of the evil one.  We were being lifted up atop the crowd - all four of us.  When I looked back at the remains of the DK, it had turned into dust.  And was blown away.

Even so, no one dared touched the clothes that were left behind.  Just in case they get cursed.  They sure are superstitious.  So, around the corpse (or what's left of it anyway) were people.  Yet they dare not trample into the vicinity of it.

Then it was out of view.  People moved in the way.

I looked across and everyone was thoroughly enjoying themselves.  I let myself go too.  Hey, it was a time of celebration.  Why not?

For the next three days and three nights we celebrated.  People came from far and wide to join in the celebration.  The feudal lord issued a command that said the next few days were national holidays.  And will forever be known as such.

We were heroes.

We were offered money, gold, prizes, women, high official seats in the government - basically everything.  And we graciously accepted most of them.  Hey, you can't blame us.  Too many heroes/superheroes set a bad example, you should take rewards.  After all, you did the work didn't you?

But we knew, in time we'd have to leave.  So we enjoyed life to the full for a bit.  And it was good.  Beyond good, awesomely good.

A week or so later, I find myself back on the same street where we fought the DK on.

I'm standing in front of the dirty and half-covered remains of the so-called: invincible one.

A hand touches me on the shoulder.

I draw fast and spin around.  Ready to strike at will.

It was Gavin.  I sheath my swords.  'Don't do that.'  I merely said.

Gavin who flinched but was not fazed.  'Sorry.  I thought you'd be here.  What's bugging you?'

'It's nothing.'  There was something.  And Gavin knew also.  'It's about time we go.'

'Yea.  I'm gonna miss the riches, the food and especially the women.'  Gavin said.

We laughed.

I wiped a tear of happiness (or was it sadness) from my eyes and said: 'We could always take some back with us...'

'What?  The women?!'  Gavin said as if it's the most ludicrous thing he's ever heard.  But he was thinking along the same lines.

'Not only that.  Riches.  Food.  The works.  But we won't be able to take everything.'  Which was a shame really.

We walked off, discussing this prospect.  And the possibility of a next adventure.  But before it was out of view.  I took a look back at the remains of the DK.

Something is wrong...


What could it be?

The final attack

Okay, No one posted yesterday, we deserve a break every so often

Anyways time to finish off DK

WJUK and I launched ourselves off the ground and DK swung his claws at us both, his left at WJUK and his right at me.

WJUK spun through his claws and landed on his arm and started to run up his arm.
I sliced through one of his claws and also broke into a run up DK arm, we both brought our swords down to out sides and picked up more speed, eventhough his arm were small they seemed to never end.

The head was getting closer, closer, finally it was in attack distance. We both dash towards it and sliced straight through and ran down the other arm and jumping off landing perfectly Had we killed it? The fight seemed to last for minutes eventhough it was only 10 seconds long.

Lewis let out a huge 'WOOT WOOT' as we sliced our way through DK, Glen seemed completely unaware of the situation Was he sleeping?

DK head came crashing down to floor as it hit it made a huge boom and Glen jumped and was woken up and loads of villagers came flooding around us.

Is this the end of the story? WJUK will tell you later

Wednesday, 25 July 2007


Woah, I certainly cut it close today.  I was so close in missing this blog post as well.

For anyone that doesn't know, which is pretty much all of you, I just woke up.  And I'm f*ck-ass tired.  Really f*ck-ass tired.

Now, onto the post.

Rayman Raving Rabbids 2 is continuing to amaze me.  And I haven't even seen or touch the game yet.  The humour is so evident even in the promo art.  I just had to post some of these.



Funny.  This game is gonna be awesome.  Even if it is just the humour that is good.

The story.

Damn.  Why do I always end up doing all the epic boss fights that probably pack more action in than the whole story arc in front of it.


I should go on strike.

The last post saw Gavin filled with energy via some magic jumbo-mumbo that Glen did.  And he launched himself at the DK.

I jumped off the claw of the DK and landed squarely to him.

I started to feel... strong.  Powerful.

Yes, powerful.  So powerful, that it was beyond contention.


Gavin was still holding onto the DK's hand which was being thrown around fiercely.  I could see Gavin, he had clamped his legs around his wrist and was now slashing at will at (what would be) his wrist.

And since the DK looked pretty close to a T-Rex, his arms were small.  He couldn't really do anything with them.  Even so, the wounds were regenerating as Gavin was attacking.

We've gotta finish this in one go.

'GAVIN!'  I shouted.

He looked down, and saw me.  And cheerily gave me a thumbs up.

He's having the time of his life.

'GET DOWN HERE!'  He jumped off with no hesitation.  Landing perfectly in front of me.

'What we gonna do?'  He asked.

'Take it down in one go.'  I said back.

He simply nodded and we faced the DK.  He now regained composure.

We all got into a pose of a last and final attack.  The DK had his tail lifted high, and his teeth showing.  Ready to strike at a moment's notice.

We simply stood in an aggressive pose.

Nothing happened.

Neither side was willing to move unless the other moved first.

I'd laugh my ass off if a tumbleweed rolled by now.

5 minutes passed.  Then 10.  Then I lost track of time.  We were doing nothing.  The DK was doing nothing.  Glen and Lewis was doing nothing.

Then the anticipation reached it's peak.  No one could hold back the attack now.



Haha.  Tension builds.  You'll have to find out the climax next time.

I feel so evil.

WJUK+Gavin Vs. DK

DK let out an almightly roar and whipped his tail around and hit Lewis. Lewis was sent into a spin and hit a wall.

'Lewis, Are you alright?' WJUK called over...no answer came

'See what happens why you fight against me, you have one chance to surrender and may make you my pets' DK growled

WJUK was quick to answer with a determined 'NEVER! Gavin! Get ready to launch me!' WJUK burst into a sprint towards me and i crouched down and made a X with my swords.

WJUK came running in and pounced on my sword, I pushed upwards (Thank God WJUK isn't to heavy!) and sent WJUK flying into the air as he flew upwards he let out a loud 'ARGGGGHHHHH!'

'You think this will stop me' DK laughed and swiped his claw at WJUK. WJUK was lucky and managed to slip inbetween DK middle and index finger and wedge his sword into the claw.

Lewis stood up and felt his head, warm liquid came oozing out of the side of his head, he was drowsy, he had to support himself up against the wall he had crashed into a few minutes before.

'Alittle help would be nice' WJUK yelled with alittle sacasm in his voice, he was getting flunge around by DK clinging on by just one sword, the sword from WJUK mouth fell and hit the floor with a loud clanging sound. This was becoming ugly at a terrible speed, I had to do something quickly, but what?

I glanced over at Glen with a look of desperation hoping he had a spell up his sleeve.

'Now you want my help?' Glen spat out , he was obviously angry that we don't let him help out unless we are in dire situations, 'Fine'

Glen tooks a few steps towards me and whispered an incantation and finished with both of his palms open facing me, 'That should help' Glen smugly said walking off.

I felt no different, i turned round and looked at Glen when it happened. My body was filling up with energy, from my head down to my toes, even my grip of the sword was more fierce, I felt like I could do anything, NO!, I could do anything.

I turned and faced DK who was still shaking WJUK, I didn't need anyone to launch me like WJUK did. I bent my knees and brought both swords down to my sides and pounced straight towards the hand of DK, I sailed up towards him, it was as simple as walking.

I brought both swords over my right shoulder and slashed downwards at his wrist and sliced it straight off, and jumped on to his falling hand,WJUK and I held on to the hand tightly and it landed with a loud bang which brought up a dusty cloud.

'Glen! Cast that spell on WJUK!' I yelled jumping down from the hand and getting ready for another pounce but this time I need WJUK helps to take down the DK once and for all!

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

Seems like yesterday...

Over 3300 views already.  It seemed like just yesterday that we were cheering and applauding the passing of the 3000 mark.



Wait a second.

It was yesterday!

Boy, have the hits increased over the weeks.  I remember starting my first blog post... seems like an eon ago now.

Probably was.

Oh my god.  I went on a walk today.  One of those countryside ones.  Lemme explain.

Firstly, why I went.  It was part of this program about being able to go to Holland after doing the walk or something (it was not until some time later that I found out it wasn't mandatory).  Plus, I was PROMISED food.  Yes, promised.  Remember that well.

The walk wasn't that bad.  And because we were generally lazy people we decided to turn back after walking... an hour or so.  Although my sister got all weak and I had to piggy-back her some of the way.  Argh.

We came back.  I wasn't actually that tired.  Despite being ill, playing (intense EXTREME) badminton the day before, and it being bloody sunny and hot.

I made my way into the restaurant/bar place.  Then this dude sticks his hand out and says:  'Where do you think you're going?'

'There.'  Points towards the door.

'I know that.  It was a figure of speech.  You can't go in.'


The dude was getting impatient.  'It's complicated...'

'How?'  I was doing it just to annoy him now.  Lemme tell you.  It's uber-funny when this sort of thing happens, and you gotta take what you get.  Although it was easy at school, there's always one person who gets annoyed more easily then the other.  I believe I've mentioned her before...

Anyway, all you need to know is that the conversation resulted in me not getting ANY food from the place.  Even though I was PROMISED (told you to remember).

Let's get down to the gritty stuff now.  Gavin has yet to post, probably because he can't think of anything to continue the story with... lazy b*****d.  Oh well, I always get the hard work to do.  It's always like that.

It's funny too.  Because I remember saying something about our group that makes a whole lotta sense.  "I'm the bus driver and if I veer of course... you're all gonna die with me."  I said that in Media, we were in a group of six.  Guess who did the most work?

I won't even need to tell you the answer.

Oh I'm sorry.  I digress.  The story...


I left it when the Demon King had transformed into a fully-fledged dinosaur thing.  And had started an attack towards us while we were injured.  Glen was also in the middle of his healing spell.  Whether we live or die, now rests on his shoulders...


Dust was sprayed all around by the resulting force of the blow by the Demon King.

Lewis and Glen were blown off of their feet by the force of the impact.  'A-Are t-they dead?'  Lewis stuttered.  His mouth full of dust.

It started to clear.

Are we alive.

When it finally cleared we could see the  DK above us.  Still in the pose of a strike.  But...

We were blocking his attack.

No way.  Our bodies pretty much reacted on pure survival instinct.  We were both there with our swords drawn in each hand (I had yet to draw the one in my mouth as I have yet to perfect using the mouth to draw a sword).

I looked up.  No one was moving.  But when I looked closer, our swords were shaking.  So was the Demon King's head.

We were pushing so much power into this clash it was unbelievable.  If only I can draw my third sword.

This carried on for some time.  The three of us wouldn't budge - couldn't budge.  Or else the enemy would tear us to pieces if we retreated.

'Why does this always happen?'  I said, breathing heavily.  My heart was pumping faster than it had ever before.  My eyes unwavering from the ugly beast's head.

'What does?'  Gavin replied, he was also breathing hard.  The DK was as well, it was now just an endurance race.  It was also like a staring competition.  Eyeing each other up - not wanting to blink in case we missed something.  In that respect we've won, we have two more eyes.  I smirked.

'You know,'  I paused for a breath.  'We pretty much defeat the boss.  Then he goes all super-ass aggro and transforms into a more powerful alter-ego iteration of itself.'

'Oh yea.'

There was no more talking after that.  All force and concentration was used in the deadlock of horns and swords.

Sweat broke from my forehead.  Undoubtedly it happened to the other two too.  I knew the DK did, but I wasn't sure about Gavin.  He could have been sweating buckets full of the things and I wouldn't know.  Concentration never left the enemy.

Although for a fleeting moment -just a millisecond- I looked over to Glen and Lewis.  They were back on their feet.  Staring, wide-eyed.  Do something!  Then my eyes moved back.

I'm not sure they got the message.  But it was the only thing we could hope for now.  Maybe they were too fear-stricken to react, or never saw my signal at all.

They did.

After a brief moment the DK burst out into a cry of pain.  And retreated backwards.

Now's my chance.

I drew my third sword with lightning speed, only the keenest of eyes could have followed that speed.

The DK now laid spread eagle on the floor in front of us.  A blood trickling out from the gash on it's left leg.  Caused by Lewis, no doubt.  As he stood there with his sword drawn.  He has drawn his first blood.

Glen was still in the same place he was before.  I was unsure if he used any sort of magical spell to help Lewis, but it didn't matter now.

We charged.

Gavin and I split apart in a pincer movement.  Lewis was watching our backs and waiting for openings.  Ain't we glad he learned a bit.

We danced around him like Indians (native Americans my head said) around a camp fire.  Slashing at any openings he had.  He had some, but not many.

It seemed when he transformed he exchanged his speed for power.  But it seemed an unfair trade-off, as he didn't lose much speed.  But gained some bad-ass power.

The wound on his left leg had already completely healed.  And the other injuries we caused were also healing.

Gavin and I stopped.  Each other on opposite sides of the DK.

'Seems like we need to take the head.'  Gavin spoke between his breaths.  He was nearing his limit.  So was I.

'Heh.  Yea.'  I drew in a quick breath.  'Let's see you regenerate that.'

'Puny humans.  He stand no chance in my ultimate state.'  He was also breathless.  But not as much as the two of us. 

This isn't good.

'Seeing as I've been wasting too much time on you two as it is.  Let's finish this in the next move.'  He said. 

Wait, that means he's reaching his limit too.

'Fine with us.'  Gavin and I said simultaneously.

'This ends now.'


What will happen?  What's going to be the ultimate moves released by the two opposing sides?  Will we ever have a 'gattai' (combine) sequence?

Who knows?  What I do know is that you'll find out either later today or tomorrow.

Monday, 23 July 2007

What he said...

In the hustle and bustle of today, I almost forgot to blog.

*smacks forehead*

Anyway. During my absent-minded adventuring and generally doing nothing today, we passed 3000 hits!

Yipee! Hooray! Huzzah! Hallelujah! GAWD-BOMB! BANZAI! Awesome! Etc.

We're taking this blog to the next level. After this, I'm thinking...


Obviously first I'd need to find a sponsor. Then amass a army of (preferably giant, scary-looking) demons. And have a giant, mecha, robotic battlesuit (just imagine the ones from Supreme Commander - but more awesome).

Then I'd also need a plan. Preferably one that was not drawn up by a five-year-old child. No matter how intelligent my advisors say he is. And in the plan, the last step will be something easy. Something like: 'Push the Button.' Instead of all those ridiculously long last steps of evil genius plans.

Oh and I totally need a council. What will they do? Nothing. They're just there for my amusement. I call all the shots. But after taking over the world, it makes it look like I think things through with this (rather) intelligent council. It'll be like the Jedi Council from Star Wars. Aliens like Yoda, that other funny-looking alien dude, and that other funny-looking alien. And of course: Mace Windu. The black guy.

Anyway, I've rambled on for long enough. These plans are meant to be kept secret.

It's the story again.

We were last seen fighting. Read Gavin's previous post.

I was fighting DK (not Donkey Kong, you dumbass). And I had to concentrate on him and only him. Or else I will definitely lose.

I got 'in the zone.' I became aware of my surroundings. My sense heightened. I could feel the roughness of my swords hilt in my hands. The cold air blowing from the east meant I could smell the DK clearly. He stank. Like somebody decided to put a giant block of cheese out in the sun, and wait a month or so then throw it into a big pile of stinking garbage.

Then I noticed Gavin joining in the battle. It seemed he has already dispatched Jill. If only she thought things through a little more.

'How you doing?' Gavin said as he joined in.

'Not too good. This dude has no openings.' I said, breathlessly.

'What're we meant to do?' Gavin shouted as he back-flipped over a sword swipe.

'HAHA! You'll never defeat me! No one can! I am the Demon King! All must bow down to me!' The DK shouted in a battle cry. It scared the living bejeebus out of Lewis. His voice was close to that of a reptiles - not that I've heard any reptiles talk lately. It just did.

'Any ideas?' Gavin cried.

'Just one. And it's-' I dodged another sword swipe. '-risky.'

'We haven't got a choice.'

'I know.' I shouted back. Then I momentarily looked towards Glen who backed up a bit, then turned my head back to the attacker. 'Glen! We need some magical support!'

Glen moved forward. His legs were shaking. He started to chant: 'He-thwe-delah-gai-she-' He stopped shaking. 'nu-RAE!'

A fireball of gargantuan size shot out from the palm of his hand. And hit the surprised King in the side.

Me and Gavin rushed. We didn't need to be told. It came with battle experience. We delved into the remaining flames. Hacking and slashing as we went.

The Demon King cried in horror. Getting progressive louder.

A tail then came shooting out of the flames. WT-. All thought was knocked out of me.

It hit me and Gavin.

'RAAARRR!' The thing cried out from the flames.

The flames started dissipating. Revealing more reptilian skin.

'That's not right. The black flames shouldn't burn out until teh target is dead.' Glen said, he pondered.

By now we were back on out feet. 'Got any healing spells?' I shouted towards Glen. I counted the damage. I got 2, no, 3 broken ribs. Gavin was in a similar situation.

'As a matter of fact, yes I do.' Glen closed his eyes. Remembering the spell.

'Hurry up...' Gavin ushered him.

The flames were pretty much gone now and it revealed a different thing. The Demon King was now an actual T-Rex. Except of course that he had three horns on his head and was exceptionally larger. His back also had spikes running down the spine, right to the tail.

'I remember now! Flu-tosen-shri-commen-la-guan-'

The flames were now totally gone. The DK looked around fazed, but obviously still with his wits about him.


It saw us. Hurt. Using each other for support.

It smiled. The smile came to haunt me forever.

It's smile distorted the face beyond ugliness. Way beyond.

It charged.

'GLEN! HURRY UP! NOW!' I shouted. Spitting out blood in the process.


The DK was now just ahead of us. We had a few seconds. It lowered his head. Showing the three horns. Aiming straight for our vitals.

He was there, right in front of us.


Is it too little too late for our band of heroes. Does the DK strike the final blow before Glen has a chance to heal the two? Find out in the coming days.

THE BIG 3000!

We hit the 3000 mark and i'm sure WJUK will have a speech heading this way very soon so keep you eye out.

On with the story, action heading your way

WJUK drew his sword's, 'Let's take this outside Gavin' He said walking towards the door

'You've pissed him off now' I said pulling Jill towards the door. I walked outside and WJUK was involve with a fight with the DK himself. DK was normal sized but looked like a T-rex and human fused together and was wielding 1 big ass sword and had scales like blades coming off his elbows.

'Well done Jill, you have managed to bring these 3 vermin to me so I kill them' DK hissed, I was holding her with One hand by her arm and had one of my swords in the other hand, 'Jill, dispose of the one holding you, I will make sure the one with a sword in his mouth will meet his friend in the afterlife' as the DK said this Jill bit my arm and broke free and drew 2 daggers.

WJUK was already locked in a fierce fight with the DK.

Jill let out a battle cry and launch her first assult, she came dashing towards me and jumped into the air and starting to desend and was aiming straight for my head with both daggers. I dive out the way and Jill was already back on to her feet and running at me, I blocked both of her daggers and saw an opening, I stabbed my left sword towards her stomach but she dodged it easily, then I slashed downwards with my right but she jumped onto my sword, and took a stab at my head which I managed to duck away from but she managed to slice my hair off alittle.

'Haha, is this all you have got' I heard DK say, he was mocking WJUK, I need to finish this fight off quickly and help him.

I stood up and dashed straight towards Jill who broke out into a run aswell, as we got closer to each other Jill jumped again, I knew what was coming so i baseball slid under her and got up quickly and parried her daggers and unleashed a combo which involved several slashes, stabs and slices. She blocked most of the attacks but a few hit her, she was kneeling holding her side and lower leg, she was breathing deeply. Was she at her limit already?

I ran at her and stab her straight threw the head, she didn't even make and attempt to block it, she didn't have the endurance to take any hits, I felt alittle remorse for killing her but she betrayed us, it had to be done

I ran towards WJUK and DK who were deeply involved in destorying each other.

Sunday, 22 July 2007

Wrong Predictions? ~ Hurt arm (again)

Wrong predictions?


Gavin.  You're reading Harry Potter...  Disappointed

Dude... that's like frickin' weird.  Next you'll somehow appear in my house screaming the same sentence over and over again:  'THE APOCOLYPSE IS COMING!  THE APOCOLYPSE IS COMING!'

Then I would be forced to slap you silly until you woke up from your horrible nightmare.

And another thing.  Did you do that thing again?  You know, the thing where you flip to the final page of the book just to see what happens. 

*shakes head*

I'm ashamed.  I thought better of you... man.

But anyway.  I think my predictions were pretty close.  Despite... not reading the book... or have any idea how it actually ends.

To be honest.  I'm reading another book right now.  Yep, still that Dark Tower series.  I'm on the last book.  And for some unknown reason, it seems to me that it's taking twice as long to finish it.  Even though it's about the same size as the other books!

Maybe it's my subconscious mind saying stuff like:  'Read slowly... the book is good...  don't finish it yet...'  and   *golem voice*  'my precious....'  and  'wa-wa-wee-wah.'

Well, nevertheless.  I'm gonna finish the dark tower before moving onto Harry Potter.

I hurt my arm.  Again.  It just started hurting for no reason.

Going to doctors to check it out soon.

I'll update you on how it goes.

According to Animal Crossing it's 'Yay Day' where people are might to compliment each other.  Dumbass.

We're nearing the 3000 mark!  Banzai!  Hooray!  Huzzah!

Don't celebrate just yet.  We're nearly there.  But not quite.

So close, yet so far.

The hits lately have been astonishing.  It's blown my estimates - that I didn't have in the first place - right out of the water.  And into the fire.


Sorry, got myself mixed up.

Anyway.  Thanks for everyone's support as we near 3000 hits!

Story... story...

Good thinking by Gavin.  He took the story right out of my hands.  Cos I was thinking we were watching her.  But the little kid... genius.  I never thought of that.

Turns out a kid was watching Jill and her little talk with the strange man.

The whole room was silent.  Nothing moved.

Then it turned into a bustling room of activity.  Drunks shouting:  'The Demon King is here!'  and  'Oh sweet Jesus!  What are we going to do?!'

In the commotion, Jill tried to get away.  Gavin grabbed her by the shoulders.  She wasn't going anywhere.

I raised a hand.  People who saw it immediately stopped what they were doing.  Some on the outside were still panicking and running around like headless chickens.  But after a few seconds - and a few friendly nudges later - they also stopped in their tracks.

'Can everyone hear me?'  I said.  My voice echoed throughout the room.

'Yes...'  The crowd mumbled.  I ignored their lack of enthusiasm.  I now lowered my hand.

'Now, I want everyone to promise me something.'

The crowd started to chatter once again.  Starting slowly and quietly and eventually getting louder.  Like a snowball rolling down the hill.  I stopped the grunts and moans before they could escalate beyond sane control.

'Hush, all of you!  Or you'll find a sword through your head.'  They shut-up.  Good.  At least their obedient.  Like a bunch of infants.  'Promise me that what you heard never leaves this room.'

People looked around at others for reassurance.  Some whispered about.  But it doesn't increase in noise like before.  One by one, the congregation of drunks and barmaids and people who came for breakfast started nodding their heads.  Once every single one understood what I told them what to do, I talked again.

'If I find that the news travels beyond that door.'  I pointed towards the bar door.  Unconsciously I had already stood on a stool.  With the crowd looking up at me.  Gavin was still restraining Jill from getting away.  'I'll come back and hunt down all of you, until I find who had spread it.  None of you will get away alive.'

It was an empty threat, but nevertheless it worked.  There were some scared faces but most understood.  They've kept secrets before.

'Good.  If everyone agrees.  Everyone except my group and the kid can leave.'

People started draining out of the bar.  Some quite reluctantly.  But they were pushed out anyway.

When everyone had left, I turned back to Jill.  And Gavin who was restraining her.

I turned towards and walked to the little kid.  He looked scared.  I would be in his situation.  'Kid.  What's your name?'  I tried to say in my friendliest voice possible.  Tried.

'K-K-Ken-nen.  Kennen Philps.'  He pronounced it Ki-nen. 

'Very good, Kennen.  Now tell me what you saw last night.'

The boy looked even more scared.  He moved his gaze towards Jill.  Who was expression-less.

I stole his gaze from her and said to him again:  'Kennen.  Look into my eyes.  Tell me what you say last night.'

The boy told what he saw.  Not once removing eye contact with me.  The only time he did was when he spoke of how he had gotten scared in the woods; he blushed and looked at his feet with this remark.

I didn't interrupt.  I nodded.  The poor boy's scared enough.

After Kennen finished I gave him some money and sent him on his way.  He cheered up instantly at the sight of the money I produced from my pocket.

'Oh thanks so much!'  With that sentence he pranced happy-go-luckily out of the bar.  At least someone's happy after this ordeal.

I swung around and stared straight into Jill's eyes.  She flinched, but Gavin held firm.

No one but me and the kid had spoken all this time.  Jill had pretty much admitted defeat.

I said wearily, as if in the last month or so I had aged by years.  'I hoped it wouldn't come to this...'


This is starting to remind me of filler episodes.  There's too much talking.  Gavin, put some action into the next one!

UPDATE:  Well, I've been to the doctors and turns out I have some sort of skin infection.

It travelled down my neck and onto my shoulder or something.

But I have some penicillin now, so I should be fine.

If it doesn't get better by Thursday, apparently I'm going under the knife.  *gulp*

WJUK predictions

Okay, first off the reason I didn't post is because I was readin the new harry potter book and WJUK your predictions, are all wrong.

Read it and find out what really happens.

Storytime again, and I'm starting to run out of ideas

We were all woke up pretty early by some drunk people still in the bar who look like they had been drinking all night.

We walked into the bar and sat in a the corner and the barmaid was over extremely quick and asked 'You want anything to eat?'

'No, I don't' I replied, 'WJUK, he will eat all your food'

WJUK laughed after I said that and just asked for a plate of chips

'You're going to eat chips at 7 in the morning!' Lewis said, who seemed rather shocked at this idea

WJUK simplely replied 'Why not eat chips at 7 in the morning'

The barmaid returned with the plate of chips in less then 10 minutes and walked off and WJUK didn't look too impressed, I knew what was wrong

'WHERE IS THE KETCHUP!' WJUK yelled at the top of his voice this made the drunks recognise that we where sat in the corner

' 're yo' 'elling at us' One of them said while stumbling his way over to us with a knife in his hand 'Nobody 'peaks to us 'ike 'hat' and he went to stab WJUK but was too slow as WJUK quickly drew his sword and had it's point on the mans neck while I was stopping the other drunks from attacking.

'I just wanted the ketchup' WJUK said slowly walking around the drunk with the sword still pointed at the neck and collected the ketchup from the maid who was shaking behind the bar 'See' WJUK waved the Kecthup in front of the drunks face, 'The ketchup' and sat down and carried on eating his chips.

The bar was silent for about 2 minutes until a small boy wearing raggy clothes looked over to us and wonder over, 'Lady what was you doing in the forest last night?' Jill went bright red and didn't know what to say, 'You were talking to an old man with the cape of the Demon King on'

WJUK and I looked at Jill and then each other...

Saturday, 21 July 2007

Holiday! Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows ~ Predictions

Well, according to some people the official Summer Holidays is upon us. Children out of school. People taking vacation days off. And so much more.

There's only one thing that's making this holiday suck.

That's right: flooding. In the UK.

We've actually been fine, and little to no flooding has happened here. It's something about our house being built near a hill or on a slope of a hill or something. But basically, we get no floods.

Which is good.

NOTE: Just for those people who think it's a good idea out there. Don't do what that woman is doing unless you are experienced in that kinda stuff - which is highly unlikely by my reckoning. Because:

A) You might get washed away by the current and into the sea. Only to die of starvation and thirst a few weeks later. They will only find your corpse.

B) The water doesn't look so deep. Seriously, if you have a look at the picture it's about... what? 1 foot deep. Seriously now! A 3 year old child blind-folded could wade through that with ease (exaggeration). I swear her hands are touching the ground.

C) Last but definitely not least. Oh, come on! Use something better than an ironing board!

That's my gist of the flooding.

Got your new Harry Potter book yet people?

I know I...


Getting the book is fine and dandy. But queuing up 3 (yes, three) days before is like social suicide. 1 wouldn't be as bad. But 3! Boy, some people have waaayyy too much time. I understand the anticipation and eagerness of reading it - although they'd probably buy the book, go home and fall asleep while reading it - but it probably won't be out of stock when you go in the morning.

Additionally, we all know how it's going to end.


  • Harry, Ron and Hermione get to Voldermort. V kills Ron and Hermione. Harry goes all out aggro and unleashes the power of the scar! Voldermort dies because of Harry's scar-iness.
  • Harry has a massive duke-out with Voldermort. Only to find after he wins this last line of the book: 'Then Harry woke up... and it was all a dream...'
  • Harry and Voldermort find they have a lot in common, they join forces to take over the magical world. Then space.
  • Harry and Voldermort find out they have a lot in common. They end up somewhere in a gypsy camp smoking pot together. Oh, and they're also married.
  • Harry and Voldermort meet. Fight. Harry starts losing. Then Harry sees his parents and against all odds - and scientific reasoning - wins. Somehow. Probably in a scene like this:
    • V: Oh sh~ *DEAD*
    • Harry: wOOt! You totally got pwn3d!
    • Ron: *Leaps over to Harry and hugs him* My Hero!
    • And they all live happily ever after... Except Voldermort... obviously. He's dead. Duh.
  • Harry goes through 50 deatheaters, to reach Voldermort. Then when he is about to reach the room he is in... he tries the doorknob. And Voldermort's voice bellows out from a speaker: 'Sorry. I'm out shopping right now! H&M are having a sale! I'll be back after lunch.' Harry goes home flustered... then joins in the sale.
  • Voldermort is actually a woman. Harry marries her (Voldermort). Ron & Hermione also get together - unsurprisingly. Then time-skip a few years. Voldermort cheats on Harry for Dumbledore. Harry commits suicide. Dumbledore and Voldermort dance on his grave. Only person sorry for him is Hagrid.
  • Turns out Hagrid is Voldermort! DUN~DUN~DUUUUNNN! Who'd a thought it? Well, except me. Hagrid has been tricking everyone in thinking he's a nice, old, animal-loving person. But in reality, he kicks every cat (or dog) he sees.
  • Turns out Dumbledore is Voldermort! DUN~DUN~DUUUNN! Unlikely, but could be possible. Turns out he's schizophrenic - so one side wants to take over the world. The other tries to stop himself. Blows himself up. Harry watches on the sidelines. Laughing.
  • Harry is about to confront Voldermort, when... he thinks: 'Fu*k this. Why do I have to be the one to save the world from the all-powerful evil wizard who turns out can turn me into a muffin at will, and I have to do all this alone. Screw this. I'm going home and playing on my Wii (Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix - obviously).' He does. Voldermort takes over the world. Then.
    • Voldermort takes away all happiness (that includes Harry's Wii). Harry goes aggro kills Voldermort.
    • Harry doesn't give a sh*t.
    • Voldermort has a heart attack. Everything is restored back to normal.
  • Harry uses a magic spell to turn into a (strangely) attractive woman. Seduces Voldermort and kills him while they're in bed together (I'm restraining this thought). All peace is restored.
  • Voldermort is invincible. Harry loses. And is resigned to a fate worse than death... yes. He now works at McDonalds...
  • Harry starts losing in the fight against Voldermort. Superman and all his other superhero friends (like Spiderman etc.) come along and help him. They try and defeat Voldermort. Either:
    • They win. Easily.
    • They win. With heavy losses. New York and Gotham City are not the same again.
    • They lose. Despite being outnumbered 5000 - 1, Voldermort still wins. Bookies (like William Hill) drop their jaws.
    • They talk it out like civilised superhero and wizards. They declare that Voldermort be banished to another dimension and never to be seen again. Until... the 9 planets align and someone off pure magical blood aligns the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar (situated on Mt. Doom) then activate the non-existent medallion at the moment of total eclipse when the Sun explodes. ...Voldermort has never been good at negotiation.

Those are just some of my predictions. It could have gone on much much longer. But I'd save you the read.

Got any predictions? Post them in the comments.

Gotta say. That was more fun than I thought it would be. Which is to say, average fun.

Ok, the story.

I was going to wait until Gavin posts. But while I'm here...

I recall ending the last bit with: 'But not slept well that night.' I have no idea why.

In the middle of the night. When the moon was still high in the sky. Nothing stirred in the inn where our heroes slept. Except... for one person.


She awoke and put on a hooded cloak. She travelled down the rickety stairs. As light-footed as possible. Some drunks were still messing about downstairs in the bar, but they failed to notice her.

She continued out of the inn and out of the town. She reached the woods to the east of the bustling town of Crealud.

Still she continued in. Further and further in. Until she reached a clearing. A lone man sat on the rock in the middle. Gazing up at the stars.

Jill proceeds to the side of him.

'You got here then.' The man speaks. His face is obscured by shadow. His voice deep and withered.

'Yes.' Jill says. Her voice is comparable to a little mouse when in the presence of that man.

'Good good. What do you have to tell me?'

Jill tells the stranger of all the happenings of the day. The man nods emphatically. Hearing and understanding every word. Never did he interrupt her. He finally spoke when he finished.

'Well done. So it seems we have not much time. You know what to do.' Jill nodded and returned back through the dense jungle.

She looked back a few times. The first three times she still saw him. Perched high atop the rock. Like a throne. She thought.

But when she looked back the last and final time. He was gone. Her heart ached, but she showed no sign on her face. She carried on through the forest. Back west. Towards the town.

She travelled into the main gate. Which was unguarded. Through the cramped alleys and darkened streets. Until she reached the inn. She walked cautiously in. The drunks were asleep. One was asleep on the piano. Groaning about some music.

She made her way back up the rickety stairs and into her room. She took of the cloak and undressed to sleep. She fell asleep almost instantly. She didn't say a word while doing this.

Unknown to her. And possibly the man. But we are not sure. She was being watched the whole time. From getting out of bed to talking to the man to coming back.

Watched by who? You'll have to wait to find out...

Cliffhanger. Ooohh. I took a slightly different approach today. Just to see how it goes.

Friday, 20 July 2007

101st Post!

Ok, so maybe I didn't realise how many posts we've done until Gavin posted about it.

But, you can't blame me.  I'm a very busy man you know.

Places to go.  People to meet.  Beds to sleep.  Food to eat.

And it's all packed into one tight-necked schedule!

Eternal Vengeance?

Yes, please.


It's the new video from "JAMcreations" - who turn out to be a bunch of mine and Gavin's friends.  And I'm always happy to help a friend, so I thought I'd plug it here!

Direct link here.

It's good!  But according to them they're not actually making a movie.  Which sucks.  Because this could be a hell of a movie.

By the way.  Any Japanese people out there?  I would just like some translations of the subs.  I can some of it (because I can read kanji) but it makes no sense to me.

They also have more movies up.  Check them out at the following link.


I know, I know.  It was posted about two days ago.  But I wasn't internetically active at that point in time, so I only found out today.

So, anyway.  Story time!

Gavin last posted us having a conversation - and Lewis getting sulky about being left out - about Jill.  We determined something about her lying and what not.  Then we carried on our way.

Half an hour after our talk we reached a sign post.  It said:


There were words underneath but they were to worn out to be read.

'Crealud?  They've got some strange town names here.'  Lewis burst out.  Only to have Glen slap him across the face.

'Strange?  They sound perfectly fine to me.  Exquisite, even!'  This turned out to be an all-out row between the two that would last for days upon days.  But we hardly took any notice of this.

'I guess we'll drop you off at Crealud, Jill.'  I said to her.  Her face showed disappointment.

'It's for the best.  If you travel with us any longer, you'll be in grave danger.'  Gavin added to the persuasion.

Jill nodded knowingly, but didn't reply.  Just what is going through that girl's head?

We reached the town of "Crealud" and found that it was a bustling town.  People were travelling all over, exchanging hellos as they past each other.  Little children were running amok around the streets, without a care in the world.

Everyone seemed to know everyone else.  But most of all.  They trusted each other.

We continued to travel in on our horses and we did get some weird glances.  But the kids seemed to look in awe at the four-legged beasts they have never seen before.

A crowd gathered around us as we travelled down what seemed like the main street.  And we stopped.  In front of an inn.  There was no real places to tether our horses so we made do with some trees.

We walked in.  It was a bar-inn.  Where there was a bar downstairs and rooms to rent upstairs.  The talking immediately stopped when we entered.  Even the music being played at the back of the bar stopped.  All eyes were on us.

I walked on over to the barmaid - who was quite a giant of a lady - and said:  'We'd like to rent out some rooms.'

'How many?'  Her voice sounded deep, like a man's voice.

'Let's see.  Preferably 3 rooms.  But we could make do with 2.'

'You're in luck.  We've got more than enough.'  She leaned in close now and her voice dropped down to a whisper.  'Cos you see, not many travelers come this way.'

I nodded and paid her the required amount and we headed up to acquaint our selves with the "cosy" rooms.

Me and Gavin shared a room.  Lewis and Glen shared a room - partly because it would be funny to see what will the level of anger between them can rise too, and because they'd probably annoy us.  And Jill had a room for herself.

We entered with our luggage to find an old room.  Not used in years.  Although it was rather well-kept, there seemed to be an abundance of dust though.

I fell flat onto one of the beds - which I have now claimed.  And said:  'What do you think of Jill, then?'

Gavin who was unpacking replied without looking back at me:  'She probably won't stay in this town.'

I now looked up at the old ceiling.  'Yea, you're right.  She'll keep following us no matter what.'

Our faces looked solemn in the dusk light that shone through the dirty window.  We went a while without talking.  And when Gavin finished unpacking he also fell onto his bed.

He finally broke the unnerving silence by saying:  'Do you think we'd have to kill her?'

'Not if we can prevent it.  She is - afterall - human.  But if she tries anything funny, we'll have no choice.'

Gavin agreed.  'Suppose you're right.  We'll have to react fast though.'

I sat up and looked out the window.  'Anyway, we'll think about it when it actually happens.  It's time for dinner now.'  I got up off the bed and made my way downstairs.  The stairs were rickety and were also the kind where you had to put your feet alternately on each step.  It also didn't help the fact that it was steep.  It was almost a ladder.

The others joined me moments later and we had a hearty meal.  We did talk.  But mostly about trivial things.  A man from the bar also pronounced half way through our meal:  'Drinks are on me!'  We made sure we got our share of free drinks.

After the meal we went to our respective rooms for our night asleep on a bed in weeks.

But not all slept well that night.

Dun-dun-duuuunnn.  What do you think will happen next?

100th post!!!!

Thats right its the 100th post and we are edging towards the 3000 view

Anyways, onward with story

WJUK finished the last post with us finding out that Jill use to work for DK and that she managed to get the microchip needle thing out with out it exploding

'How about you help us kill the DK then Jill?' WJUK asked after a long period of awkward silence with the odd arguement from Lewis and Glen

'I wish I could but I'm on a mission looking for 3 outlaws who are meant to be very powerful' Jill quickly returned, Was she lying again?

'Who are these Outlaws?' I said

'I don't know what they look like or of their names, I was travelling to the Emperor's city to find out their names' Jill answered, Was this another lie?

'Well in that case we will drop you off that the next town or city' WJUK firmly said, Was he thinking what I was thinking 'But before that Me and Gavin need a chat'

We stop dead in our tracks and jumped off the Horses, WJUK signaled me to follow him

'Jill is alitte strange don't you think?' I whispered to WJUK

'Yeah, thats what i wanted to talk to you about' WJUK quietly said back 'I think those three Outlaws she was talking about were us, think about it, She said that she escaped DK, and is now hunting down outlaws, what if she is trying to earn our trust and kill us'

'Yeah, I was thinking the same thing' I whispered back 'Maybe she wanted to kill us on the first night we met but because one of us was awake at all times so she didn't have the chance.'

'We will just have to keep an eye on her until we can get her rid off'' WJUK whispered and then he turned his back and walked towards the Horses, I followed him.

'What was that about?' Lewis quickly said, he was looking angry, maybe because we didn't let him be part of the conversation

'We will tell you later' I said while mounting the horse

We carried on riding

So, Me and WJUK have our theory, find out if we were right or not soon.


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