Random Quote Generator - Cos every site needs one

Thursday, 29 November 2007


I'm delaying posting for today seeing as:

  1. I cba.
  2. Things are getting a little hectic in my real life.  Yes, I have one of those too.  I have two exams coming up next week.
  3. I'm getting my new laptop tomorrow...  hopefully.  So I may do something about that tomorrow.
  4. Not much has happened.  Well, that's not right.  A bunch of stuff has happened but most of them trivial and not really worth mentioning.
  5. I cba.

Well, there you have it.

So, watch this space.  And until my next post you can attempt to guess what laptop I'm getting!

I'll give you one hint:  DELL.


Yes, you heard it right: DELL.

Brings me back to my school days...










UPDATE#1:  Seeing as it would probably be quite easy to guess for some of you tech-savvy people, I thought I'd add something else.  But first, let me ask you this:


No?  Then your missing out.  On what?  I have no idea, but hey.  It's got the word monkey in so it's bound to be good.*

So take a read and find out about the Monkeysphere.


Despite it's ridiculous, laughable name; it makes more sense than you think.  Trust me.  Don't be fooled.

Yaargh!  He'd be right, ya know!


*When I say this it doesn't include stuff that has the following words:  Rabies, disease, HIV, AIDS, killing, homicide, genocide, penis, "getting it on", "making love", "making sweet monkey love", "millions are dying from a zombie monkey out-break", mind-control, evil-genius, uber-smart.  And so on and so forth.

UPDATE#1:  Ok, here's the deal:  Some sh*t happened.

Oh yes, sh*t always happens.  You say.  Well, tough luck.  Because it's true.  Due to some error from the package-sending agency (or whatever they're called nowadays), I have yet to receive my laptop!


And since they don't send on Saturdays and Sundays; I won't be getting it UNTIL MONDAY.  I know, how sucky is that.  I thought I could use the weekend to get to know my laptop but no!  The corporate mailing companies had to take that away from me.  Those b*stards.

So, since I'm mourning the not-yet-arrival of my new piece of high-tech-spec machinery.  I'm delaying this post.

:P  Yes, I can do that.

... And if my laptop doesn't arrive Monday... some dude is going to get a pummelling.

Tuesday, 27 November 2007

Dragons and Tigers and parodies. Oh my!

I saw two films on Sunday. *ahem* Legally, of course. Yes, legally.

Anyway, I saw "Good Luck Chuck" about this guy who got hexed are something. But basically it's just an excuse to get a bunch of hot women to undress.

Then I saw "Dragon Tiger Gate" a Hong Kong martial arts flick based off a comic. It's so bad-ass that the subs had one dude called: 'Turbo.' Yes, I know how you feel. But that didn't matter to me since I could understand them without the subs (hooray for knowing Cantonese - a dialect used mainly in HK of Chinese). So awesome. And by the way, the name sounds so much cooler in Chinese. And I mean much cooler.

Here are two promo pics for each film.

Now, guess which film I enjoyed more?

Not sure, yet? I thought you knew better.

Fine, here's some clips of the film:


By the way, in the second video (for Dragon Tiger Gate): You see the punching bag near the end of the video? Yes? Well, that is the WORLD'S LARGEST PUNCHING BAG (according to Guinness Book of World Records). Talk about awesomeness. And oh, that's not the only fight in the movie. But I should note that it's a huge spoiler.

Now can you guess which film I enjoyed more?

Answer as follows (highlight): 'Good Luck Chuck'




Nah, I was only joking. Dragon Tiger Gate was the most awesome by miles. Sure, Good Luck Chuck provided some laughs but nothing beats a good ol' beat-em-up. Especially if it's a HK martial arts flick.

Let me reiterate: If you have to watch a movie out of the two above, watch:

Dragon Tiger Gate


And what about parodies? I hear you say. Well, I came across a delightful little parody of a song you may have heard before. I'll just shut up now and let you watch:

Because I'm totally awesome and numerous people agree. I'll post the lyrics too, in snazzy GREEN font *gasp*:

Hey there, Delilah, what's it like to have big titties?
Everytime I fuck your asshole, I imagine Conway Twitty, yes I do.
I fantasize that you're a dude...
One who's tattooed.

Hey there, Delilah, don't you worry about my dicklessness.
I'm just an emo fag,
I'd fuck your younger brother shitless.
Yes I would.
I jack off to "Boys in the Hood."
I yank it good.

Oh, it's what dudes do to me - Oh it's what dudes do to me
Oh, it's what dudes do to me - Oh it's what dudes do to me.
What dudes do to me.

Hey there, Delilah, my Tom Jones is gettin' hard.
Just two more beers, and I'll work up the nerve to go down on that tard;
I'll take it all.
I'll ride his tard junk, balls and all.
Unhinge my jaw.

Hey there, Delilah, I'm not sayin' that I'm gay,
but if you put a cock in front of me, I'd rub it on my face - I'd grab the shaft...
And slowly work it up my ass.
Then hunch it fast.

Oh, it's what dudes do to me - Oh it's what dudes do to me
Oh, it's what dudes do to me - Oh it's what dudes do to me.

A thousand goths and one cigar - I know that dream sounds so bizarre.
I cut myself to make it go away.
Our friends would all make fun of us, but fuck those bitchass douchebag cunts.
They'll pay their debts in blood this very day...
Delilah, I can promise you that once I prove that you're a Jew,
I'll baptize all your family in flame... and you're to blame.

Hey there, Delilah, don't you worry about protection.
You have all the cops you want, I'll still add you to my collection - yes I will.
Your shrieks of pain will be so shrill.
Half of you will end up in a land fill.
I'll wear your skin - call myself Jill.
It will be ill.

Oh, it's what dudes do to me - Oh it's what dudes do to me
Oh, it's what dudes do to me - Oh it's what dudes do to me
What dudes do to me

I think you gotta agree it's pretty awesome as well. The singing could be better. But the lyrics seem to be very imaginative. And funny, don't forget funny.


GH3 rawks.

EDIT#1: Apparently the parody video was taken off Dailymotion so I've uploaded the MySpace TV version.

Saturday, 24 November 2007

Legends of ROCK

Yesterday, I went to town with Gavin and Ashley (like we do most Fridays) it was really a time to say farewell to Ashley since he's going on holiday to Orlando... damn.

Anyway, we were walking around and I remembered that Friday 23rd was the release date of GH3.  So, we stopped off at GAME first (since it was the closest) and they said they had none left, all of those were already preordered.  F*ck.

So, I gave up and we didn't even try GameStation.  Then we happened to be in HMV and there it was, sat on the highest shelf.  Guitar Hero 3:  Legends of Rock.  For £55.  I happened to have the money on me at that time so it was an impulse buy.  Needless to say, Gavin & Ashley were green with envy.

I ditched the HMV bag, since it didn't hold the giant box anyway and everything just kept getting better.  I also smacked up a theory whereas holding the box gave me (or anyone else who was holding it) instant recognition.  No seriously, everyone was looking at the box.  Probably wondering what the hell it was but it was still awesome.  Gavin & Ashley also had turns to hold 'the box.'  They also felt the fame it bought with it.

Anyway, joking aside.  I plugged it in yesterday and have been rocking out pretty much non-stop.  I still suck though.  I completed easy yesterday with relative ease, and last night I've moved onto medium.  I'm actually very surprised about the sequences I pull of in the game.  Even on Easy Mode (which only utilizes 3 buttons) some of the latter songs are still difficult.  *cough*  Through the fire and flames */cough*.  But in actual fact compared to the other difficulties it is easy, once you hit medium; easy is well... easy.

Guitar hero has always been notorious about it's difficulty.  Some of the songs are insane in hard and expert mode.

Time for pictures!  ... Webcam pictures again.  I should really get a new camera...


With Stickers too!


Looks good, right?  The Wiimote is not in since I took it out and couldn't be asked to put it in for the photos.  Still, an awesome Wiitar!


Small problem though, since I want to be able to play 2 player (trouncing your siblings is always fun).  But the only way to do that is to buy the package again!  That's very sly and very clever.  That way you either buy two packages (which is over £100!) or you can wait... damn.  Although it probably would have been better if they released a separate guitar before Xmas.  *sigh*

Anyway, that's about it for today.  I'm going to continue to rock through the weekend (as if I didn't already) and I hope you lot enjoy your weekend too.

Oh and Ashley, if you're reading, I expect an awesome souvenir.  And I mean awesome.

Thursday, 22 November 2007

How maths should be like every-time. FOOL!

Today was one of the most awesome (college-wise) days I've had in a while now.  Computing in the morning was adequate, as I spent of the first half (with Brian) surfing the internet.  It's because I now sit at the far corner of the room, so unless he wants to check on me especially he can't see my screen.  Sweet.  Why was I moved there?  Long story; and long story short:  Don't say it.  Let's just say I'm a pretty bad influence on people...

The second half of the lesson (with Darren - or Daz as he likes to be called) was different.  Since he teaches programming which I actually enjoy (been doing arrays lately), and he uses this "LanSchool" thing that enables him to see all our screens and block access and stuff.  Not cool.  Especially when he forgets that we still have our screens blocked.  Although funny situations do come about from it, one time he accidentally blocked ALL THE COMPUTERS IN THE COLLEGE.  Which, I don't think I need to point out, is FRICKIN AWESOME.  And that's just one of the times, another time he broke a computer by using that.  Since it wouldn't unfreeze the computer.

Then there was maths.  It was pure maths (C2) and it was more talk than anything.  Yvonne (not of the Yukon) left the room for a bit and Rob proclaimed another of "Mr Quadratic's Adventures", all because of one little Greek letter.

For all you none-Greek alphabet knowers... if that made any sense... that letter is what we call: 'Theta.'

Now, what does it look like?  An oddly shaped egg?  Yes, but think deeper... and more video game/cartoon terms.

Yes, Rob made it into a pokeball.  Those little things to catch wild pokemon with.  Apparently, Mr Quadratic found it while traveling through a forest... and he managed to catch the three bird-like things.

This prompted a large discussion about what the three was.  We could remember that there was a lightning one, a fire one and an ice one.  Zapdos was the easiest to remember, and Moltres came next (lightning and fire, respectively).  But we were really stumped with that ice bird.  Upon further investigation by the amazing detective that is me, I have found that last piece of the puzzle to be: 'Articuno.'  Woot.

The Wikipedia article also told be something very interesting,  apparently:

'An interesting point of the three is that the last syllable of each of their names forms the sound of the Spanish counting numbers uno, dos, and tres.'

Coincidence?  Probably.  Awesome?  Meh... so so.


The final lesson (which was also maths, DAMN YOU FURTHER MATHS.  DAMN YOU TO HELL!) was actually fun.  First we did some statistics stuff (S1) but that's not even noteworthy.  Although Richard, Yuan and I managed to find out the formula before everyone else (who were all still trying to work it out for themselves) with a little initiative on my part.  Yes, I looked in the book.  I'm surprised no one thought of that.

Since we're men, except Yuan that is, we tried to pass it off as our idea.  And said we did it all.  Yea... didn't turn out quite well.  We were kinda stupid and it showed, since we hadn't done the annotations for the specific letters in the formula.  Sh*t.  It was worth a try though.

But that's not why the lesson was fun.  The lesson was fun because we got to:


Ok, maybe I made up the finger paint part.  But it was still awesome.  We were actually finishing the posters we started last week but I totally forgot to tell you guys that.  Nevermind.  Let's just put it this way, we were given an A3 piece of paper and we had to answer a maths question while UNLEASHING ALL OUR CREATIVITY ON THE THING.  Needless to say I did origami.  And I actually used something we learnt back in Secondary school.

I made a frustum.  The thing in the picture.  It didn't look exactly like the picture, since mine had a triangular base and it was a million times more awesome.  I think I should point out now that if you make 20 of those triangular frustums and have a ton of glue or sticky tape then you can MAKE A BALL.  How awesome is that?  And yes, that is what we actually learnt back in a maths lesson way back when.

Talk about awesome.




Not only that but I also made a Paper Shruiken (or Ninja star) which Gavin showed me the video for on YT.  *After several attempts to find the post which I posted the video in... I give up.*  Not even Google could help me.  Oh dear god, what has the internet become?!

Anyway, it was cool as we were flinging it about the room.  Richard tried to hit Rob, missed by miles it almost went out the window too.  Then I through it and it HIT RICHARD IN THE FACE.  Ouch!  PWN3D!  Granted, I was about a foot away from him.  But that doesn't matter.  I HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH A PAPER SHRUIKEN!  OWN3D B*TCH!

But then he decided to throw a shruiken back at me when I was most vulnerable.  I was bent over the table and drawing something on the A3 piece of paper... and he threw it in my face... also from about a foot away.  Now, that's just unfair!  He had eye protection in the form of glasses!  Me?  I had nothing!

I like how I condemn other people's acts, even though I did them too.  :P

Anyway, our master-piece of awesome creative vision is now up on the wall of Room 60 of Franklin college.  Check it out.  You can't miss it, it's the only one with a frustum that says: 'OPEN ME' at the front.  And when you open it out it says: 'MATHS RULES!  LOL'  lmao, also one of my works.  It's also the one half-clinging to the wall for dear life.  Since they ran out of room on the board, I actually made sure our work covered quite a few other posters too.  :P


FOOL!  Now, where's that from?  I'll give you one guess and if that's not right I'm predicting pain...

Yes, it's the almighty Mr. T or B.A. (Bad-Ass) Baracus from the A-Team or maybe that boxer from Rocky ('I pity the fool!'.  However you know him though, I think you'll agree that he is awesome.  Picture below.

The famous quote.

 The only people (that I can think of; off the top of my head) that beats him in the awesome category are: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee... and maybe Jesus (debatable).

Why am I talking about Mr. T?  *Brings on Mr. T accent*  I'll tell you why, FOOL!  It's cos Mr T is in a new ad.  Not that snickers one, FOOL!  This is ad actually brings out the awesome side of me, FOOL!

He is also one of the only people I know that refers to himself in the third person.  Pure awesomeness.

Without further ado, here's the awesome ad.  Courtesy of YT.

Just another reason why Mr. T should be in everything.*



*Yes, I understand it's World Of Warcraft.  I don't particularly like or have anything against WoW.  But if you are one of the people who harbour an unsustainable burning desire to snap every WoW game ever existed (maybe it slept with your girlfriend?) than you've got to push those things aside.  IT'S MR. T.  FOOL!

Tuesday, 20 November 2007

New modem... and something really GROSS

So apparently my mum talk to this random dude at NTL Virgin Media and we got a new modem... yea and we also managed to get a huge amount knocked off the monthly cost, just by installing the new modem... weird.  But I'm not complaining, since we still get to surf at the same speed have no download limits.  So awesome.

New modem Here's the new modem.  It looks somewhat better, more stylish I think.

Since I'm a lazy bugger, I can't be asked to move the old one.  Since, I'm sure most of you can relate, the wires are all tangled up.  And I mean totally tangled up.  Don't believe me?  Here's a quick snapshot with the webcam:


And this is only the bit I can take a shot of.  Most of the wires are hidden behind the CPU, along with the sockets and stuff.  It's bad.

So, now I have two modems atop my CPU:

20071120163618 Don't they just look positively cozy?



I thought so too.  You think the old one (at the back) would have forced the new one off the top of the CPU "accidentally" by now.  Since it has taken it's job.  And you know, it's also bigger and meaner looking.  It's also probably trained in several specialised hand-to-hand wire-to-wire combat.

Or maybe it's just enjoying it's retirement.

Nevertheless, it's there.  Along with the new.




I was randomly surfing blogs not long ago.  And I came across something interesting (on GaijinSmash, to be exact).  This is what he initially said:

And every time I see one that I think is the worst thing in the world ever, much like 2girls1cup*

And the asterisked place said:

*Do NOT Google that. Seriously. I'm not joking, that's my actual, heartfelt warning - don't do it.**

**If you don't listen to me, at least watch some of the reaction vids on Youtube first to get an idea of what horrors you will be inflicting upon yourself.

I was initially going to just avoid his advice and just Google it.  But then I felt some warning light go off at the back of my head, like some tiny brain cell just realised something important and started screaming:  'DUDE!  WATCH THE VIDEOS FIRST OR YOU WILL DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH!'  Or something like that.  I'm sure the thing from the grudge was also there.

Anyway, I eventually heeded his advice and looked up on YT.  And I'm kind of glad I did now, since judging by the reactions I can see that if I watched it myself I would have screamed: 'OH DEAR GOD!  AAAAHHHHHH!!!' continued to run around in a mad circle and shout at the top of my lungs until my head exploded.

Here are some of the videos one dude put up (he has like 10 videos of different people watching):

The dude's other videos are here: VIDS if you want to watch some more reactions.

Anyway, back to me.  I was really curious now and although slightly put off by the dude in the 2nd video when he said: 'Is that sh*t?'  I figured as a blog-writer, having not seen the video I can't really blogged about it.

So I prepared myself as much as possible, at this point I could have taken on a Nuclear Winter, several Polar Bears and Lions, a Griffon and a few Dragons and still live to tell the tale.  Nothing could stop me.


I didn't get far and just closed my browser.  I sat there for a while, unmoving.  That has scared me for life.  My eyes feel like they've been burnt by some sort of devil water.




Just in-case you do though, here's the link: 2girls1cup

Apparently, a whole internet craze was set off by those videos.  This happened a year ago.  Hey, better late than never I suppose.  I probably found out about this before, but my mind has mentally blocked it from me to avoid the physical harm I would do to my own body.


That's all the advice I can give.  I am not liable for any sort of mental illness or brain-turning-into-mush condition that you may get by not following my advice and watching the video.


EDIT#1:  Ok, since many of you probably won't heed my advice.  And I want to reduce the amount of times I'm going to get sued (hopefully it'll stay at 2), so I've included a picture on how bad it is:


If that ain' t gonna convince ya, I dunno what is.

Sunday, 18 November 2007


For anyone that doesn't know who Mario is (yea right); I'll start off by giving some basic information about him.

Taken directly from the first paragraph of the Wikipedia article, totally unchanged:

'Mario (マリオ, Mario) is a video game character created by Japanese game designer Shigeru Miyamoto and the official mascot of Nintendo. He has appeared in over 100 video games since his creation, more than any other character. Originally used for platforming games, he has also found his way into racing games, puzzle games, role-playing games, fighting games, sports games, and many others.'

Yes, you read that right: 'He has appeared in OVER 100 VIDEO GAMES' No joke.  Wikipedia even has an article on it:  List of Mario Games by Year.  Mario, Miyamoto's brainchild, is (possibly) the world's most recognisable video game character.  More so then Master Chief, Sonic and Zelda.  Sure, he may not be as cool as Master Chief - I'll give you that.  Since Master Chief is a 7-foot, gun-toting Spartan warrior... while Mario is a fat Italian plumber who spends the majority of his time saving Princess Peach from Bowser.  I know who I'd rather be.  But you've got to say Mario looks good for his age, he first broke onto the gaming scene in 1981.  That's quite a few years before I was born.  If I use Master Chief as an example again, then Mario was 20 years before him.

Anyway, Nintendo's Mario games always deliver (when I say Mario games, I don't include all the spin-offs etc.).  Sure, Super Mario Sunshine was a bit of a drag but it was still a great game.  Not great Mario game, since Mario's standards are UBER high.  On Metacritic:  Super Mario Sunshine scores in at 92.  That's pretty damn good.

Anyway, as I was saying ever since the first Mario Bros. right up to the latest iteration of Mario: Super Mario Galaxy.  Nintendo has continued to churn out awesome Mario game after awesome Mario game.  Well... they ought to, since it tends to take a whole console cycle for them to make one.

Ok, enough beating round the proverbial bush.  I got Super Mario Galaxy on Friday and I'm loving every minute of it.

Seriously, if you're not awed by some of the stuff they do in this game - there's something seriously wrong with you.  The whole concept of the gravity and the spherical worlds and the amazing visuals just makes heads explode.  I'm not ready to say anything definitive about it yet, seeing as I've only collected 50 odd stars out of a possible 120, but it's a damn fine game.  And I mean it.

On Metacritic SMG's score is a whopping 98.  All the reviews give 90 or above.  There's only one game that has ever received a higher score.  And that is Zelda: Ocarina of Time, with a near-perfect 99.  BUT WAIT!  Let's take a look at Gamerankings...  Here are The Rankings.  Guess what?  Super Mario Galaxy has overtaken LoZ: OoT.  That's something to boast about.  I'd also like to note that the top three games there are all Nintendo franchises.

So what does all this mean?  I have no f*cking clue.  But I'll give you this advice:  If you have a Wii, you need this game.  If you don't have a Wii... this is a damn-good reason to get one.

Short and sweet.  I'm not going to bother even writing a review seeing as you could type into Google: 'Super Mario Galaxy Review' and find one easily.  But why bother?  They all say pretty much the same thing:  'AWESOME.'  The only real problem in the game is the camera.  It's does an adequate job, and for any other game it's great.  But for Super Mario Galaxy where you are jumping upside-down, inside-out, all the way around and back again it can sometimes make it hard to see where you're going.

Oh and there's another problem:  The game does end sometime.  Which is an awful shame.

The GameTrailers review.  Score: 9.8.

So, let's review what I said: GET THIS GAME.

If you don't get this game; not only are you doing a horrible injustice to yourself, but your children, and your children's children and their children's children's children and so it goes on.

An instant classic.  If only I get more play-time with it...


Note:  If the above just looks like total Nintendo fanboyish dribble, I'm sorry.  I can't write anything good or think properly the last few days.  All I keep hearing in my hollowed chasm of a skull is this...

EDIT#1: About Gavin... yea, he's dead. Again. I heard this time he got obliterated by an army of giant sea kings. What are sea kings? Er... kings that fell into the sea... and they you know... became sea kings. Yea, you can tell by their names they are pretty bad-ass and powerful.

I phoned Gavin up the other day and asked him what hell was like. He said: 'Unpleasant and stuffy. And it's very humid. The service is also very bad, you'd think they'll at least stop poking you with pitchforks for a while so you can- Ow! Hey, stop that! I'm on the phone. Dumbass.'  Yea, so from what I gathered from that phonecall is that hell is pleasant and... er... not much else.  I phoned back yesterday and I heard things are much better, especially since Satan called in a engineer.  He got some hot springs going and now Hell is a thriving business!


Thursday, 15 November 2007

Maths Mock

As you may or may not know, probably not know, I had a maths mock exam today.  For the C1 module (Core 1).

For normal maths students, they wouldn't have to be worrying about C1 exams now they've got quite a few months yet.  But for us 1337 Further Maths students, we have 3, count it, 3 exams!  Two of them are IN THE SAME DAY.  How sucky is that?!

But anyway, if today's test caliber was anything to go by, the C1 paper is going to be a breeze.  I probably could have done it with both hands tied to my back, while my half of my brain thinks of food.  Which did happen... the thinking food part, not the hands tied part.

I finished the test about 15 minutes early.  You must be pretty astonished that it took me so long, right?  Because I normally finish tests with oodles of time to spare, I believe the last test I took I finished with 30 mins left.  There's a perfectly good reason for my slow finish:

The first 7 odd questions were easy, I plowed through it like Chuck Norris on steroids (not that he needs them, it's just to exaggerate my point) plowing through ninjas.  Then I reached the 8th and final question, it was like a face-off.  A cowboy quick-draw contest.  I reacted quickly and moved through pretty smoothly.  That question alone took up 2 sides of pure mathematical algebra and jargon.

I reached the final part of the final question (which was part IV, I believe) and I was working through and then this happened:

For this exercise we will have to dive deep within my mental consciousness...

Haha, this test is piss easy.  Now all I need to do is the final question...  dadadda dedededee *hums*... Hm... What should I have for dinner tonight...


Wait a sec.  This doesn't work out... that line touches that... and that line's gradient equals theta... the mathematical margin of error equals penguin... yada yada...



Yes, what happened was I managed to get the first part WRONG.  So I had to CROSS OUT TWO PAGES OF WORK then redo the whole bloody last question!  OMFG.  Pain.

This cost me about 20 odd minutes, that question it a real pain in the a-hole.


But having said that, this being the first test I've had since my GCSEs. It's really put things into perspective for me.

In retrospect, it was about 5 months (6 months tops) since I had my last glorious day at my secondary school.  And yes, I did go out in a blaze of glory.  Hell, it wasn't so much a blaze of glory as: 'A GIANT MUTHA-F*CKING FIREBALL OF DOOM!!!11'  If you catch my drift.  I went out in awesome style, 16 and a half GCSEs.  13 and a half As, what more could you ask for?


Well, a car and a laptop would be nice.

Anyway, it's been close to half a year since I was still slaving away under the hideously contrived UK education policy of compulsory study (which they are thinking of raising to 18!) but now, all that has changed.  I feel free.  Sometimes I find myself watching TV at NOON.  And daytime TV SUCKS.  Everyone knows that.  But you know what?  I don't care, cos I have the time.  I can do what ever I want now (within legal restrictions).

Screw the rules, I have money.

So as I was saying, I'm loving college life.  Basically.  That's it.  In a nut shell.

What's not to like?  Less time spent studying.  Good.  More time spent socialising with friends.  Good.  Teachers don't care whether you swear or not.  Good.  Teachers swear themselves.  Good.  EMA.  Gooooooood.

Anyway, enough living in the past.  Let's move to the future.  The bright future (that's not orange btw, despite Orange telling you otherwise).  More specifically, the future is: SPACE.

Yes, as you may have guessed by now.  I'm talking about Super Mario Galaxy. Ha~ha!  It'sa me!  Mario!  Just doesn't have the same flare when it's just some text.

With the impending release of the game currently rated at 98 out of 100 on Metacritics the whole UK will stop and stare at this little Italian plumber jumping around awesomely presented spherical worlds.  According to the review scores, the little plumber is beating the likes of: HALO 3, THE ORANGE BOX, ASSASSINS CREED, BIOSHOCK, CALL OF DUTY 4: MODERN WARFARE.  Pretty much every game that's been released this year.

I think that's hinting, ever so slightly, at the 'Game of the Year' award.

I can't wait.  And with a whole weekend of undisturbed Mario fun, who could wait?

Super Mario Galaxy boxart... hehe... U R MR GAY.*

*Don't worry if you have no f*cking clue about what I'm on about.  Just look for the little stars...

Tuesday, 13 November 2007

Endless Ocean

If you thought the title was some sort of witty title made up by me than you're wrong.  As much as I'd hate to say it.

So, I picked up Endless Ocean the other day (*cough* £17.99 from PLAY.  Yes, that's right.  Under £18!!!).  And if you've never heard of it, which is probably true for most of you then I'll briefly explain.

You're a scuba diver (fully customizable: male or female, start of with standard kit and you unlock others).  And you dive.  That's pretty much the whole premise of the game.  Sure, there's this slight story to it but the good thing is that you don't have to follow it!  You just receive emails on a cell phone (???) and you can choose whether or not to do them.  But I think you should, since to obtain the camera,pen, whistle etc. you need to progress through the story mode.

The graphics are solid and the way all the fishes (and land animals.  I SAW A PENGUIN ON MY BOAT) animate are all very realistic.  A perfect game for casual gamers, hell my sisters are waning their way through it now.  And the amount of marine life you see in this game is amazing, I've only played the game for a few short hours and I've seen, what?  30, maybe even 40 types of fish.  Ranging from the tiny fishes to Hammerhead sharks.

The music is also good.  The in-game music is pristine and calming.  Perfect for a game such as this.  I say 'in-game' because this is the second game (the first being Excite Truck) to support music playing from SD cards.  You understand what that means, right?  Put any sort of music on an SD card and slot it into the Wii.  And then BAM!  No, your Wii does not explode (but it would be cool if it did); you choose the Audio thing on your ship and you can play your very own music!  EVEN WHILE DIVING.  If that's not awesome, I don't know what is.  Although it'd be kind of weird to be diving to the tunes of a heavy metal rock band or something like Weird Al (depending on your tastes).

The game only requires you to use the Wiimote and is very easy to control.  You point where you want to go and your on-screen avatar faces that direction.  Press B and you start swimming towards it.  Obviously, for the lazy ones out there who can't be asked to hold a button, then there's always AutoSwim.  Which you can activate when pressing the '-' button.  Unfortunately, there is no such feature in real life.  Everything is kept simple and easy to understand, even for the most simple-minded of us.  With tutorials that show you what to do, showing you what buttons to press etc.  But for anyone who has any experience playing the Wii before, you could properly pick up the controls just by messing around for a few minutes and testing the buttons.  That's what I did.  :P

It's also possible to have partners join you in a dive.  During the story, 'clients' will ask you to dive with them and show them certain types of fish.  These tasks are ok, but a tad frivolous I think.  Also, early on in the game you obtain a pet dolphin that joins you on dives.  You can also teach it tricks!  Unfortunately that dolphin can't talk (like the dolphins from 'Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy') and the only real means of communicating with it is through a whistle.  Er... not that effective.  You can also interact with it (and other fishes) by patting it, stroking it and nudging it.  It's also possible to feed them and take photos of them (once you obtain the camera).  But you can't store many photos, 40 at most in the photo album.  Which is a real bummer.

Then there's Wi-Fi.  And I've got to say, I'm pretty please with the online play.  Sure, I haven't actually used it yet - since I don't know ANYONE who has this game.  But the premise is good.  You can visit your friends boats and dive with them, allow others to visit you.  But again, friend codes.  Damn.  The only real gripe is the forms of communication, that is the lack of it.  As you can see by the video above you can communicate with this pen that can DRAW IN WATER.  And yes, you can use that in the single-player game.  Additionally you can have pre-set messages, but those don't work too well either.  So, Nintendo:  Another cry for a headset.

The way the game is set out, there are also no immediate threats to the player.  So you can dive to your hearts content, you do have an air limit but that seems to last forever.  I dived for a whole 20 odd minutes and had about two-thirds of the meter left.  There is seriously no way you can die in this game... that is until you meet some of the more aggressive sharks...

I haven't met any... yet.  I'm dying (not literally) to meet one since I came across a post where this dude was torn limb-from limb by a tiger shark.  It also happened to kill his pet dolphin.  I'd seriously like to see that.  But being the internet and all, I can't exactly trust what he said.  So I'll have to wait to find out myself, hopefully I'll come across these Tiger Sharks soon...

That about wraps up the game.  It's a worthy addition to the your library of Wii games if you're into stuff like this and being at budget price also helps!  The only real thing it's lacking for me is some sort of local multiplayer, cos it would be kinda cool to call some friends around and dive for a bit.  But Super Mario Galaxy is coming out soon anyway, and GHIII too.  Which both are going to be A-W-E-S-O-M-E.  Heed my word.


Not much else to note.  We did happen to go to Tesco the other day and my sister actually picked up a Graphics Tablet (for cheap!) and my mum picked up an alright camera.

There was also that Bright Start Gig or something on yesterday.  I didn't go.  Yea, well I had stuff to do.  I believe Gavin & co. went so you can ask him about it or something.  I heard Shane Ward was there but not exactly singing... maybe they were playing a record over him and he was attempting to lip-sync.  The key word there is 'attempting.'

Not much more to say except that I have TWO TESTS this week.  Yes, you can laugh... for now.  But you know what?  I'm going to get a racing stripe!  I'm totally going to travel about 1,000 MPH faster because of that racing stripe.

Ah, sh*t.  Maybe not.

As if someone had the idea before me...


EDIT:  Oh and does anyone remember a little flash game that swept the interweb by storm when it hit?  No?  How bout if I say: 'Fancy Pants Adventure'?  Still no?  Geez man, get a life.

Anyway, Brad Borne (the dude who made the game) has started up his own blog and has been posting BETAs for people to try out.

Here it is:  Borne Games

Currently the newest one is BETA .06 and remember it's still in BETA.

I think the picture on the right sums up the first game perfectly.  And no, that isn't Gimely.  As much as I would like it to be.



EDIT#2:  Ah crap.  Why do I keep forgetting stuff?  Anyway, there's now a new snazzy banner up top.  And it looks quite good, if I say so myself.  I went for a minimalist design and just for the record:  The slogan is all me, baby.  All me.  It's been copyrighted to and is now my official slogan!


banner1 The 'new' banner.

The music player has also been improved.  There is now visualizations or whatever they're called at the back and it now fits better.  Woot woot.

Saturday, 10 November 2007

A boy and his toy

Apologies to anyone thinking this is a dirty and revealing post about a "friend."  It's seriously not what you think... unless you think-like/are a mathematician.


Sorry about the late post, I was going to post yesterday but... you know... sh*t happens.  I'm not sure what kind of sh*t I'm on about but it sounds pretty troublesome...  Anyway, nuff jabbering.


Ok, let's move on to what the title is about.

I'll set the scene:  It's Maths, last thing on a Thursday; we had already had a maths lesson earlier that day (such is the woe of me).  We're studying S1 (Statistics 1).  This is how things went down:

Since we're all like uber-clever AS Further Maths students, we get to use the 'Statistical function' on our calculators.  I'm sure many of you who own calculators will have heard/seen about this feature on the calculator but never really used it before.  Well, that was true for me too.  And it still is.  But nevermind that now.

Richard (who sits on the same table as me) tried out this so-called Stat function and to his surprise his calculator not only did everything he needed with relative ease and comfort but it did it in style.


Ok, maybe not exactly 'style' but not many of the other calculators had a such easy to use interface.  Mine included, as when I put mine in 'SD' mode (which was what my stat function was called... yea, no idea either) it LOOKED/WORKED NO DIFFERENTLY.  It still did all the same things and as far as I knew, nothing had changed.  So, screw it.

But Richard's calculator was giving him the easy way through the work.  And he seemed to really shove it down our throats about it (seeing as we did the same thing in the previous maths lesson when his "American calculator" did not contain a factorial function).  He also made it very clear to everyone (by repeating it over and over and over and over again that he received the calculator free.  Yes, FREE.  AT A SCIENCE FAIR.


I believe his exact words were along the line of this:

'Yea, I won this calculator at a science fair.  Some people received holidays to exotic, far-away places.  Others won computers and gizmos.  But me, oh I totally got the long end of the stick.  I won a CALCULATOR... woot woot.'

Sounded like a pretty awesome science fair.  But wait!  The story gets better.  As this was just the start of the lesson.  He continued to announce how awesome his calculator was and just messed around with it when he was suppose to be listening.  And then when he found out something or other he would make this weird sound that was like a 'half-laugh' that would make everyone look at him like he was some random crazy person that decided to sit in a maths class messing with the calculators.

He became so obsessed that Emma named the calculator for him.  Probably a reference to the Top Gear African Special episode where Hammond has a close relationship with his car:  'Oliver' and it did produce some very hilarious circumstances.  In this case, the calculator was dubbed: 'Trevor.'  I disagreed with the name since it actually said on the thing: Texas... something or other.  But the main point is, it said Texas.  So obviously you needed a Texan name.  But it was too late, the calculator had already been named.  Damn.

He soon started making sounds that I would put in the same category as: 'Orgasm sounds' as they actually sounded pretty close.  It was essentially some 'oohs' and 'ahhs' and some heavy breathing thrown into the mix.

I also recall, a conversation between me and him that went like this:

Me (being sarcastic): So we all know what you're going to do when you get home.

Richard (semi-sarcasm?  Not sure.):  Yea, going go home jump on the couch and watch TV with Trevor.  *laughs*

Me:  *laughs*  I can picture it now.  "Hey Trevor, change the channel."  ... "Fine, ignore me."

Richard: *laughs louder* ... yea...

<Awkward pause>

Me:  ...

Richard:  ...

Me:  ... You're not really doing that are you?

Richard:  Of course not.

Me:  Good.  Or else I would've had to impale you with a really sharp shark.

Richard:  *Was about to ask about the "sharp shark" comment... then decides it's for the better to just forget it*


I'm not so sure what that proves, but trust me: It was a helluva lot more funny when it actually happened, one of those 'You had to be there to understand the hilarity of the situation things.'


A few days ago (or was it yesterday...?  I forget), the east coast of Britain had a little trouble with a few called: 'Tidal Surge.'

Coincidently, I live on the East coast of Britain.  F*ck.  Yea, that was my immediate thought.  As I'm sure many others would think the same.  But upon closer inspection, our house was gonna be fine.  Thank goodness.

For a visual representation of this 'Tidal Surge' thing, I refer you to this picture:

Yes, you are seeing what you think you are seeing.  Normally, the water doesn't even come over that small wall.  Although this is in Norfolk, which isn't anywhere near where I live.  But this was one of the stories in the local Telegraph about said flooding incident, which is conveniently on the website too:  Article here.

I didn't read through the whole article properly (the first sentence, to be precise) but it sounds pretty bad from the title.  Luckily for us, we were far away from the sea and upon a hill that it's very unlikely we'll even get close to flooding.  Yay!  Obviously, my heart goes out to those who homes were flooded.

By the way, this is like twice this year that something like this has happened.  Some more flooding happened in July too (I think).

It looks like weather is heading in a downhill gradient, rapidly approaching 'Oh sh*t!' level.  And British weather was bad to begin with.


My family members started watching baby videos.  Oh dear god, help me. 

"I'm not normally a praying man but... Superman, if you're up there please save me."

As anyone who has parents know, they pretty much film you non-stop, 24-7 when you was young (unless they didn't have a camcorder).  And usually, these videos are watched once... meh, maybe twice.  And are then thrown to the very back of cupboards, never to see the light of day ever again...

Ever again, as in:  Until someone finds them.

And if you were the one being filmed it always leads to awkward situations where you've got to watch yourself acting like a ridiculous idiot on TV.  Oh great, yippee.

Watching some parts of the videos did remind me of my innocent days (yes, I too had days of innocence... hey, DON'T JUDGE ME).

The time where life was easy, and school-work consisted of playing in the sand and painting your hands/face.  I had never heard of the Internet (I was 5) and the only interaction I had with computers included playing Civ and Age of Empires and the like.  We also had a NES, Sega Mega Drive and SNES.  All of which, except the NES, have been broken by me.  Let's just keep it as: One was smoking and was thrown into a bucket full of water by my dad, the other just flat-out rejected any cartridge placed into it and ended up out the window...  But that's a story for another time.

Life was sweet back then.  Makes me want to go back.  Back to the time when I had no exams, no work to do at home and my definition of work consisted of building stuff out of Lego.

memory1 The thing is though, I don't remember too much about my life before 12~ish.  I can remember certain events that have stuck in my mind, but everything else is fuzzy.  Like I'm not on the right channel for the reception or something; or someone decided to go through most of my memories and Gaussian Blur it to an extent where I know (somewhat) roughly where I was, and the heck I was doing.  But not much more.

My earliest memory... hell, I don't think I have one.  Sure I can think of some memories, but I'm not sure which ones came first or if they ever happened at all and where only figments of my (slightly broken) imagination.  Does this only happen to me?  Anyone else out there who can't remember much about there early years upon this little blue planet?

Anyway, I've rambled on enough about my bloody life.  I'm sorry, I digress.  And if you've managed to just sit there reading that, without any other form of social interaction or entertainment... I really got to hand it to ya.  Sure, you may have wasted 5/10 minutes of your life which, let me remind you, you will NEVER EVER get back.  But, hey.  At least you had fun?  Right?

... Right?


Wednesday, 7 November 2007


Yes, I've decided to include another Super Special Awesome feature to this already awesome-feature laden blog.  That feature is...  *drum-roll please*



And for the proverbial icing on the kick-ass cake:  YOU CAN NOW CHAT DIRECTLY TO ME.

Whether that is anonymously or with your Windows Live ID.  Pretty nifty, right?  Obviously, this feature only works when I'm online which I'm not 100% of the time (since I have other commitments that include:  College, work, sleep among other things).

But now you can have a 1:1 chat with me.  Anytime!  (that I'm on...)  STRAIGHT FROM THE BROWSER.

If Gavin wills it so, he can add one like that.  Maybe even Kate too!  Unfortunately I do not have the power (or privileges to do that for them.  Since I need there Windows Live ID passwords and everything...).

Anyway, enjoy this awesome feature!

Oh and there's also this word validation thing that you need to do before you can actually initiate a chat (to stop bots randomly talking to me online.  Which would be a pain in the A double-S hole).  It's no biggy.

Btw, the Surrealism Generator thing has been removed and this has been moved into it's place.  Yea... I got bored off it.


Remember those media music videos (if you have no idea what I'm on about: CLICK HERE) well today Ben (that's my media teacher) decided to show them off to the whole frickin' class.

No joke.

I wasn't too worried since I'm not specifically the one making an ass out of myself in the video (which can already be found on YT) so all was well.  Jamie didn't look too bothered either which was good.

But then... something happened.

For some inexplicably-evil reason we ended up watching another group's videos.  What happened?

Conspiracy?!  ... Nah, it just took longer than we expected to download the videos onto the disk (since they tried doing it all FULLSCREEN FOR EVERY GROUP).  So, we're watching it next media lesson.  Friday.

Funnily enough the first music video we saw had the same song as we did.  And they did a less than mediocre job doing it.  The camera-work was relatively satisfactory (could have been better) but the casting was pathetic.

Seriously though.  Yea sure; the girl pretty much had no shame in dancing in public and generally looking like a douchebag walking around college 'lip-syncing' into a microphone.


She made didn't even make an effort to make it look like she was making an effort... or something.  She could tell that she looked like an idiot too, since she seemed very nervous about the people that were walking up and down the corridor.  Needless to say she gained some unfriendly (and downright dirty) looks from passers-by.

Enough about that horrendous excuse for a music video though.

I recall there being other music videos (and some were actually above average - which is pretty much equivalent to: AWESOME in Franklin media).  There was a hilarious video were this guy spent most of the video humping a giant blow-up Spiderman doll -that, frankly, looked nothing like Spiderman at all.  Another video included repeating the SAME BLOODY SEQUENCES OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.  We get the idea already!  And this carried on for about 4 minutes (in which case most people in the class had already succumb to an untimely fate).

Needless to say, our video will blow away all the competition.  Don't believe me?


Yea, me neither.  See how modest I am?


In other news... well, there's not much other news.

So, on the bombshell.  Good-night.*

See you next time.

P.S. Time will stop in Britain in 9 days...

*The line was ruled out because I'm sure Jeremy Clarkson (from Top Gear) has already copyrighted it... and besides, why would I want to talk type like a beer-bellied man in the middle of a public mid-life crisis?  Nevertheless, he's still awesome.  For driving that small car, if not anything.

Oh wait, my bad.  On further inspection of the abhorrently long and link-filled article.  It's DOCTOR Jeremy Clarkson... WTF?  I sure won't want him to operate on me...

Monday, 5 November 2007

Media Music Video ~ UPDATED

Yes indeedy.  I have obtained the music video we made for our (extremely short) media project.  As I type it is being uploaded to the ever-growing Youtube.  Now, I play the waiting game...


Ah screw it.  I'll just continue typing random things until it's done...

11 days till Super Mario Galaxy!  ZOMG! MONKEY NINJAS!  Moo...  *yawn*

Yay!  It's done!  Took it's frickin' time.

Enjoy the video in all it's pristine glory.  That is, before it gets taken off YT for copyright infringement...  Damn those copyright things!  DAMN THEM TO HELL!  And beyond.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the video.

NOTE:  I'd like to reiterate that we DID NOT choose the song.  Blame it on Jamie.  He just had to choose 3.  Lucky number my ass.


Just so happened I went to Tesco today.  Not that long ago, in fact.  I'm not sure why I went.  Seeing as I had nothing in particular I needed to buy...  I coaxed into going and was used for MANUAL LABOUR.  Oh dear god.  When will I ever learn.

All I got out of it was a clock (whoopity doo.  A clock.  I'm so ecstatic).  And a bunch of junk food (which tastes good).2007115221714

Above:  The clock.  Sorry.  No picture of junk food, since I ate it all...


BONFIRE It also happens to be Bonfire Night today.  I'm sure I blogged about it not long ago...  Remember Remember the 5th of November...  I pretty much said all I needed to say in that post.

But now, for some irony.  Who doesn't like irony?  Don't answer that, it was a rhetorical question.

Anyway, today has actually been relatively quiet compared to the last two nights.  Yesterday there were some fireworks going off in the DAYTIME.  WTF?!  That's stupid, nevermind morally wrong (and I'm pretty sure it's against some government mandate law or something).  But now, I stick my head out the window...


Not even a dog barking.  I think somehow adjusted their clocks too far.  Seriously though, there is nothing go off right now (that I can hear anyway).  That's Bonfire Night gone up in smoke (see what I did there?).


Also, I may have a little surprise in-store... check back later tonight (or maybe tomorrow).  There's no guarantee as I just f*cked it up right now.  The browser konked out on me and now I've got to do it all again from the beginning.  DAMMIT!

Good night.

You better believe it.

Saturday, 3 November 2007

Remember remember the 5th of November...

It's been about 2 days since my last post.

Halloween has just about ended.  My reasoning is that many (working) people have Halloween parties on the Friday, since they've got to -you know- go to work and all on Thursday.

Well anyway.  For the last 2/3 nights there have been a multitude of fireworks going off and kids are starting to shout 'Penny for the guy' next to a limp, lifeless and at many times: horrendous-looking doll.

Yes we are drawing near Guy Fawkes Night/Bonfire Night.

The dreaded night of (most) dogs, and old people... ok maybe not so sure about the old people bit.  For the last few nights all I've been hearing is BOOM!  BAM!  and the occasionally KABLUEI!  But it seems it's stopped... for now.  Oh wait, my bad.  It's started again, albeit with less KABUEI!  it's just POP POP POP now.

I don't really get people who set off fireworks early.  Don'tcha think it would be better to stockpile them until the 5th of November?  You know, like put them all in a row then light a match... then run down lighting ALL OF THEM.  It would be a helluva lot more amusing and would also provide an awes-inspiring and entertaining night-sky spectacle.

To be honest, I never really got Guy Fawkes Night.  Yea, I understand it's celebrating the foiling of the plot to blow up parliament and whatever.  But I'm sure there has been numerous foiling of such plans and schemes such as this (and Scooby Doo and his team probably account for 60% of them); granted none have really been so prolific as that incident.  But why should Guy Fawkes get all the glory (he got a whole holiday named after him), there was Robert Catesby -who masterminded the whole bloody thing.  And yes, for your information, I did find that on a Wiki article.  :P

Ah well, nevermind.  There's fireworks and that's all that matters.


I woke up with a bedhead today and I haven't been bothered to mess around with it.  And besides I thought it was pretty cool so I decided to take a picture of it with my webcam.  And here it is:


By the time I took it though the hair had subsided a lot so you're not really seeing it in all it's glory.  Obviously it doesn't beat the hair I had for the Halloween Party but it's pretty good for something that was accidentally done.


Now you may be asking me:  'Where's the music video?'


*Runs away*

*Gets my ass handed to him by a bunch of crazy-ass urban ninjas and is frogmarched back here*

Damn.  I just can't beat those urban ninjas and there kick-ass mechs.

Anyway, the music video is sadly not with me.  I managed to just finish editing it and due to time constraints I couldn't download (or export the video, as a matter of fact) to a portable media device.  Hopefully on Monday I'll have time to do this.

And I've got to tell you, it's funny and makes no sense at all.  And the only extent at which you'll see me in it is as an extra.  The main character in it is Jamie the monkeys (who "chase" Jamie).  I have no idea where that idea came from.

I think for the sake of redeeming myself for such a grievous error on my part (not being able to obtain the video) I'll give you some background on the other members of my troupe.  Our little posse consists of Me, Kenny, Jamie and Matt.

Kenny:  Ex-XBL achievement whore.  Second year at college (he screwed up his first year because he was an achievement whore then - I have no idea how he isn't one now).  Can drive a car.  Seems to be obsessed with monkeys.  Has an XBox 360.

Jamie:  Addicted to MySpace.  Recent accounts suggest he spends over 4/5 hours on it daily.  I'm unsure whether or not that is true.  Has a relatively high-pitched scream.  Apparently ranked 6th in the whole of N.E. Lincs for RC car racing.  Has an XBox 360.

Matt:  Also a second year.  Also drives a car.  Doesn't particularly like Halo for some reason.  Has a PS3 and is addicted to Resistance: Fall of Man.

Me:  Admin of an awesome blog.  Internationally adored around the world.  Tech Savvy.  Charismatic.  All-round nice guy.  Doesn't get paid enough.

So, that's our team.


Has anyone heard of JDatE?  And no, I'm not talking about this JDate.  A Jewish dating service is about as far away from this as Mintaka is as far away from Earth.  And that's pretty-ass far.

This is one way of describing it found on the website:

And that's saying something.  Here's the book trailer:

Here's the video description, which I think does a good job as a sort of blurb:

It's a drug that promises an out-of-body experience with each hit. On the street they call it Soy Sauce, and users drift across time and dimensions. But some who come back are no longer human. Suddenly a silent otherworldly invasion is underway, and mankind needs a hero.

What it gets instead is John and David, a pair of college dropouts who can barely hold down jobs. Can these two stop the oncoming horror in time to save humanity?

No. No, they can't.

I seriously recommend this to everyone.  You'll be amazed at how awesome it is and will be addicted within reading the first page.

No, seriously.  Just in the prologue I've read about the two:

  • Almost drowning in s*** in a basement
  • Breaking a ventilation shaft
  • Fighting off a meat monster that has an eternal rivalry with this Doctor dude

And that's only the bits I remember!

Now, you may be thinking:  'Pfft.  Book?!  I'm not paying for nothing.'


How?  Well, the original story was actually part of David Wong's website (Pointless Waste Of Time) and he has kept it up there despite having released a paperback (and hardback, I think) version of this awesome book.

You can read it here:  http://www.johndiesattheend.com/

JDatE.  Highly recommended by moire.

Note:  I even asked at Ottakers WaterStones (the book store) cos I'm hooked to this story so much.  They didn't have it in stock.  Unsurprisingly.  They could order one for me that would arrive in 4-6 weeks.  Oh hell no!  By the way, asking about a book called 'John Dies at the End' really did make the dude think it was a joke.


Story time again.


That night I sat there in out surprisingly large room.  Wondering to myself:  'WTF have we gotten ourselves into?'

I laid on the cold bed staring up at the ceiling.  The others were already asleep.  For some obnoxious reason the four of us (from our world) are sleeping in the same room.  It was probably a bad joke by the others.

Lewis was snoring loudly and Gimely was tossing and turning all over the place.

I lowered my hand into my pocket and pulled out the bag I obtained today.  A bag with one of those orbs in.  It was purple and the material it was made like felt like velvet but also silk at the same time.  The bag was tied (very tightly) with a golden piece of string.  Our previous efforts of removing said string lead to nought.

'I wonder which orb I got?  Speed, Power or reflexes?'

I felt the outside of the bag and, indeed, there was a smooth spherical ball inside.  The orb couldn't have been bigger than my own thumb.  To think something this small could do such awesome stuff.

I placed the bag back into my pocket and sat up against the wall.  I stared out of the window, the only source of light currently in out room.  The moons (yes, this world had more than one) shined brightly.  There were countless stars in the sky that glimmered back and forth.  It was as if they were dancing.

I decided that I better get to sleep.  We have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow, and if today was any indication it will be a crazy day.

My last thought before I fell asleep was:  'WTF have we gotten ourselves into...?'


'Not now... five more minutes...'  I murmured as I drew the bedsheets above my head.  Attempting to muffle out the shouting.

'We don't have five more minutes...'  Said the voice as the bedsheets were cruelly withdrawn from me causing me to sit up.

'I SAID FIVE MORE MINUTES!'  I wasn't very happy my sleep was disturbed.  The anonymous person grabbed me by the shoulders and hurled me out of the bed.  I was sent tumbling across the room and into the opposing wall.  The light shined directly into my eyes.  The person started to walk closer from where I slept minutes ago.  The light was blinding me; causing me to only see a silhouette of the person.

I tried to shield my eyes from the light.  And failed.  I finally gave up and left my hand drooping to my side.  The silhouette got closer and closer until it was a mere few yards away.  It leaned forward into the light.

A woman?!

She was young and elegant.  I could tell she was of high-social standing by the way she dressed.  Her hair was a shiny black and her eyes a brilliant brown.

'Who're you?'  I said as I got up to see if I had sustained any injuries in my dramatic waking up.  I didn't.  But the wall didn't fare very well in the collision.  I looked around at the other beds and found that the others had already woken up.

'Before I answer that question how about you put on some clothes.  It's very unnerving.'  The woman said as she tossed me my usual garments.

I caught the clothes easily.  'Good point.'  I said, only just realizing that I was half-naked.  I continued to put on my clothes as the woman decided that she would turn around and give me some privacy.  She was staring out the window.  'So, who are you?'  I asked again while pulling up my trousers.

'I'm Nina.'  The woman said, without turning around and looking at my undressed state.  She paused.

'Your daughter.'



WTF is going on?  I have a daughter?!  Watch the bound-to-be hilarious outcome next time.

Friday, 2 November 2007


Sorry for not posting in awhile.
I'm lazy, thats all i have to say.

So, the orb isn't as simple as it looks. Lets find out more.

'The orb we have allow to warp space, but Marodeth has an Orb which blocks time travel which is a pain in the ass' WJUK said

We all nodded in agreement.

'Gimely bring us the others' Gavin said, Gimely hopped up of his chair and ran off.

'In our collection of orbs we have a strength increasing one, speed increasing one, and a reflex increasing one spare, you may pick one each randomly.' WJUK said.

Gimely came back and put the orbs on the table.

WJUK, Lewis and I walked up and picked up a random bag.

'You won't feel the effects first but in alittle bit you will feel a surge down through your body, thats when the orb has began working.' Gavin said

'Right now, we need to get some rest.'

Thats all today cos i'm too lazy to post ^^

Thursday, 1 November 2007

Halloween Party... among other things

Now where should I start?  A bunch of stuff has happened since my last post.  I had planned on posting yesternight (is that even a word?  If not, it should be).  But seeing as I was exhausted (mentally and physically) after the party I dropped dead onto my bed before I could post.

Let's see now.

First, let's start with college on Wednesday.  I ended up going to town with Ashley, Gavin & Laura but for no apparent reason.  It was still fun though.  I can't exactly remember what the hell we did since it was so long ago...

I can only remember standing near the ATM at NatWest (where Gavin was withdrawing money) and Laura saying (in an extremely retarded voice):  'WOOL~WORTHS!'  while pointing towards Woolworths which was across the street.

Ashley managed to reply (in between simultaneous bouts of gut-bursting laughter):  'Yes, we know Laura.'  It was one of those "you had to be there to understand the extreme hilarity of the situation" things.

Well, nevermind anyway.  In the media lesson that followed shortly afterward, we were filming.  Yes, the music video for this song:

I didn't actually do too much during the actual filming process; except showing the cameraman how to work the camera, acting as director, keeping everyone in check and kicking a monkey.

Most of the time I carried around the tripod like I was holding a gun/sword/lightsaber depending on my preference at the time.  By the way, when it was a lightsaber it had appropriate SHOOM!  effects.  I also happened to use it as a baseball bat, and I managed to hit a monkey pretty far.  No, seriously.  I hit monkey about 10m using a tripod.  If that's not an achievement in itself I don't know what is.  Take into account the tripod is actually pretty frickin heavy and I was swinging one-handedly.  I've know crossed one thing off the list of things I want to do before I die.

I'm editing tomorrow (since I'm suppose to be the editor) and if possible I'll try and get the video to show you.  I'll bring a disk (one of Kate's :P) and attempt to burn it onto the disk.  I don't care if they say it's impossible, I'll try anyway.


Then came the actual Halloween party.  Oh was that insane.  In about five minutes of being dropped outside Gavin's house I managed to jump over a wall about as high as me, almost kill myself (twice) by running like a maniac across -possibly- the busiest road in the whole of this godforsaken town.  You could tell it was going to be a good night.

We got to Daisy's and Ashley just happened to get there at the same time (I swear we have a subconscious telepathic thingy-ma-jig, since this kind of stuff seems to happen a lot around us) and because I was wearing all black and Gavin was feeling like a Ninja... we decided to try and 'ninja' ourselves into her house.


Yea... didn't turn out that well.  We abandoned the idea pretty fast.  I managed to get to the back-door, before I triggered the motion-sensor operated light and drew the attention of the guy sat at the computer.  I had no idea who he is, but I ran.  And pretty fast, at that.

Matthew was already there (he practically lives at Daisy's house... I think), dressed up as a PIRATE.  Laura arrived shortly after dressed up as a CAT and Daisy... well, to be honest I had no idea what the hell she was dressed up as.  I'm sure Gavin will answer your question sometime.

In that short hour we managed to accomplish a lot of things, I'll try and list them:

  • Get Daisy drunk (this was the easiest one, it took only a few seconds)
  • Jump on her bed
  • Lift up the bed and scare the s*** out of Laura.  TWICE
  • Insult pretty much everything she had in her room (including the "High School Musical: TOP TRUMPS" cards.  My face:  :0  WTF?!)
  • Kick about one of those balloons... you know, the ones with rice in and make a bunch of noise and is bigger than normal balloons
  • "Awesome up" my hair to epic/biblical proportions
  • Take a picture and spread it
  • Annoy the living hell out of her mum (who was sick)
  • Lock the dog (and Daisy) out of the room
  • Have Belcher type 'NOICE' across messenger
  • Almost break Daisy's petty excuse for a chandelier (for size comparison:  IT WAS ABOUT THE SIZE OF MY HAND)
  • Almost broke her window (because of the SNAP! sounds of the blinds, we thought we did for a few seconds)
  • Play poker and 21
  • Ending up on a bed with Gavin & Ashley (rather tightly packed as well)
  • Have a dog doll try and eat Ashley's balls THEN moving onto Gavin's balls (for the record:  they looked like they enjoyed it)
  • Gavin having to cover his balls (quite a few times actually) when Daisy's face (and mouth) were in very close proximity to his crotch  - at one point she was kneeling down in front of him and Gavin pretty much flew backwards through her door to avoid her; another point included on the bed where Daisy was "reaching over the side of the bed to get something"... yeah right, we all know what happened in a certain someone's dream (sorry Gav)
  • Finding a dildo-shaped object and have Daisy exclaim:  'That's a... er... hair-straighter... no, wait!  A hair-curler... yea, that's what I meant...'  Suspicious?  Not really.  And then Laura also exclaims:  'I have that at my house too!'  Coincidence?  Probably.

That's about all I can think of now.  Soon we headed out to 'the venue' which is sort of a crappy name for a something like this don'tcha think?  This included jumping over the wall AGAIN this time from the lower, hillier side with two girls (one wearing disproportionally large heels that made her head look small).  The situation required quite a lot of heavy lifting.

While we were making our way down there, Gavin decided to stop of at this takeaway to get some chips.  Unfortunately, it just so happened a gigantic group of chavs were on the opposite side of the road.  And because Daisy is, ultimately, Daisy she got started on.  I'm not quite sure why (I think it included remarks of "Barbie Girl" or something) but it ended up having the others to go first while Gavin & I stayed behind.  By the way, the chips were actually quite nice.  BUT WE HAD TO WAIT FOR ABOUT 10/15 MINUTES FOR THEM.  That was a drag.

We reached the venue and there was a GARGANTUAN line.  It literally stretched the whole length of the staircase and corridor, some people were also stood outside.  What made matters worse was that Daisy, Laura and Matthew were dying for a piss.  And from all their nagging:  Gavin, Ashley and I also started needing one.  Ah crap.  I hate when that happens.  It's like when yawns get passed around like infectious diseases (aka HIV/AIDS).

So, we retraced our steps back to McDonalds in search of a toilet.  But, for some inexplicable reason, THIER TOILETS WERE CLOSED.  WTF?!  That's just wrong.  We ended up having to QUEUE in a line waiting outside the disabled toilets on the ground floor.  What the hell is up with that?!

Although a funny story came about it:  Laura was first in and managed to get herself LOCKED INSIDE.  Their were screams and everything.  Some dudes also came along (one dressed up as.. er... what's his name.  The dude that has the chainsaw and hockey mask), anyway since there was a queue and everything for the toilet one of the dudes decided he'd piss in the bin...  he talked the talk but didn't walk the walk.  And decided queuing was maybe a better idea.

When we got back after this brief interlude, the line had magically disappeared.  Hooray!

So we swiftly navigated the stairs and into the party.  Oh yeah.  Now, from pretty much this point forward my mind is a blur.  I can't remember this part properly for some non-apparent reason.

I can remember seeing a bunch of people I haven't seen in ages (and adequately dispensing hugs as frequently as a vending machine dispenses food).  There was Kirt, Joe, Shaun, Smithy etc.  There was a bunch of people and for a time we thought this dude dressed up as a Ninja was Hutcho (??? Have I spelt that right?); turns out it wasn't.  I also recall a girl-on-girl lapdance.  Your mind doesn't forget one of those.  My last, proper rare collection of that night included watching people (and ultimately Gavin & Ashley) play pool then bitching about how bad they were.  Not that we could do any better, but hey, that's what spectators are for.  Lifting you when you win, kicking you when you lose.  See?  I dispense pearls of wisdom, who said this blog wasn't educational?

When I left the venue I was walking home with Gavin and his family.  Yeah... I don't remember much of that either - don't moan at me, that was like... yesterday.  That's a long time ago (about 20 hours, in fact).

I ended up sitting on this yellow stump/pole thing and staring up at the (unperceivable) stars and sky.  To be honest, I couldn't even see the moon.  I sat there wondering: 'WTF did I do for the whole night...?'  Ah, I couldn't think of anything so I gave up and hummed a random tune until my mum came to pick me up.

I got home and took a shower, seeing as my outrageous hair at the time prevented me of actually sleeping properly.  Don't believe me that it was outrageous?!  That's an outrage!  I'll show you:


By the way, that weird "strained" face I have on is NOT and I repeat NOT what you think it is.  I was merely trying to turn around (while keeping a good shot for Gavin) to look at the mirror.  Turns out it was harder than I thought.

Oh and sorry for the quality, but it was taken from Gavin's mobile.  So, if you have to moan etc. Moan to him.

Unfortunately, my awesome hair is no longer with us.  So, I cannot get any higher quality, higher res photos...  sorry.


A suitable picture for something so awesome.


Next we move onto today... yea, not much happened today.  Leeman (finally) gets to see my wallet - after asking about it for two days straight only to have me bring it in on the third day and I don't see him!  Pfft, the nerve.  And he's actually rather surprised that my wallet is, in fact, 100% of Duct-tape construction.

I've still got a banging headache from all the loud music and I can't hear properly in my right ear.  I'm still having that ZZZzzzxxxXXX sound in my ear, which sucks.  One of the downers of going to clubs with loud music, you end up having to (practically) nibble the guy's (or girl's) ear so they can hear you.  But going momentarily death when you leave is also awesome.  Ashley and I also happened to go momentarily blind after staring into some funny-looking red & green laser/strobe lights.  Yeouch.


Well, that about wraps up this post.  I've got to edit the music video tomorrow and if possible, I'll bring a copy of it home tomorrow.  Although I don't feature in the video much myself, you can obviously see my work (e.g. throwing and kicking monkeys at people).

So, until next time.  See ya.


P.S.  Oh and if you've noticed I've rearranged some of the things on the blog.  I've ditched that time-based HTML thing since I've got bored with it and bumped the Random Quote Generator up in it's place.  And it's actually looking pretty good.  And because the bottom of the page was a bit lonely, I've added a 'Random Surrealism Generator'... no idea what the hell it's on about most of the time but... hey, who cares right?


EDIT:  This was so awesome I just had to post it: 

7 Movie Deaths That Would Be Awesome to Have on Your Tombstone

Just take a look at this picture and you will understand:

Hell yea!

Daisy says (22:38):
ashley being my boyfriend

I did not edit that in any shape, way or form.  She actually forced asked me to add it in.  I didn't even know it happened until about an hour ago, since it happened after I left.  But apparently, the guys that were playing pool before started taking pictures of Daisy (I have no idea what for... probably pedophiles or something; just wait a while and the pictures will surface onto the Internet).  So Ashley, being the man he is, stands up and proclaims to be Daisy's boyfriend.

Now, I'm glad all of this is for show.  Since:

  1. Daisy and Ashley are cousins... or something
  2. I'm sure it's illegal
  3. It's just plain wrong

And doing this, scared off the pedos and all was well.  And they galloped towards the horizon while the sun set... ok, maybe I made that last bit up.

Secondly, she wanted it made known about her bank card.  That Gavin & I stole for the large majority of time that we spent at her house.  Which I cleverly hid (under some towels right outside her bedroom door... sneaky).  She also (stupidly) told us her pin number (which was something something 00, that's all I remember).  Unfortunately, despite her dad being a gigolo (cited source:  Gavin & Ashley) she only has £1.30 or something in that bank account.  Which sucks.  So no identity fraud that night.


You know, maybe I should stop mentioning her sometime.  Since she stated, rather profoundly:  'I like being mentioned' I might just do it sometime when I can be asked to; just to piss her off.

Latest news:  Daisy was actually dressing up as a DOLL.  WTF?  I did not see doll when I looked at her costume...


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