Random Quote Generator - Cos every site needs one

Monday, 29 October 2007

2 days until Scarefest!

Yes, two days until that faithful day. Halloween.
And already a bunch of stuff has happened to me.

For any keened eyed users out there this post is coming through Blogger's own service and not Windows Live Writer.
The main reason for that was because:

So, with my awesome 1337 high teccccc-ni-cal computer skills, I had to hook up my other computer to the internet. Yay! For having two computers! For the last few hours or so I've been trying to download my applications again etc. Oh and I've also been talking with Gavin & Daisy... well, more Gavin than Daisy.

She kinda got fazed out of the actually conversation after a while. I guess that's what happens if you she doesn't get PWN3D all the time.

It's funny too. Since we're using NTL (which is now Virgin) when I used the install disk for the Broadband thing (which said it was for MAC anyway) it still worked! Huzzah! And on all the contact information... I winged it! And it still works! Huzzah!

Now, everything is working fine. And because this is a newer computer than my really really old previous computer, everything is actually working even better!

Funny story. As always. I had media this morning and we were suppose to be planning the video for our music video. I may have mentioned this before, but WE HAVE THE WORST POSSIBLE SONG.


Don't believe me? This is the ACTUAL MUSIC VIDEO from YT.

Yes, your eyes did not deceive you. In the video there were BUNNIES GETTING IT ON. And baby bunnies were spawned. I will go no further on the subject matter of the video.

*sigh* We already had our planning lesson and we did f*** all in that lesson but talk. Sure, we talked about the music video. But all our ideas seemed to revolve around -yes you guessed it- MONKEYS.

Don't blame me, it was Kenny. And his meddling PG tips chimp.

Then came Maths which wasn't anything particular to speak off. Just you know, racking my brains out at some horrendous sums.

When I came out I happen to meet up with Leeman and Lewis, who were standing there -gazing at the stars or something- and one of the first things Leeman asks me is: 'So, where's your wallet?'

Turns out that Leeman 'follows my blog' which is always good to have at least one loyal reader. Lewis, on the other hand, understood nothing of what the hell we were talking about, which isn't that big of a deal actually. Since it happens quite regularly.

Thanks Leeman and may the good times roll!
Or something like that.

That about sums up said post.

And about Metroid... er... yea about that indeed. I got some game time on it today. But I'm still on Bryyo. Which sucks.

UPDATE: My inappropriate IM conversation with Gavin & Daisy has taken a dastardly turn for the worse. Somehow we got talking about bases (you know: 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base, 4th base). And some distressing news came about it.

I'll list most of it here:
  • Daisy has been to EVERYBASE (including 103453th base)
  • She also happened to get to 3RD BASE with her DOG. Yes, you heard that right. Beastiality *shudders*
  • Daisy is equivalent to a TANDEM TRIKE WITH STABILIZERS. Explanation: She gets rode by multiple people and is not very stable... or something.
  • She has now been addicted to Urban Dictionary and their various assortment of definitions. That is, after I told her about it.
  • She is now defining her own 25th base. I told you she creates the bases. And some of them are really really really disturbing. And you have got to be sick to even do them (ala Daisy).
  • She got PWN3D 1189 times in this conversation. That's a new personal best.
That's about as much information I can get. And now I think she's ignoring me.

Saturday, 27 October 2007

MP3 Impressions

Awesome.  Absolutely awesome.

Definitely the definitive game to showcase the Wii's FPS control scheme(yet anyway).  Everything feels so good and natural.  It looks AMAZING.  The boss fights are AMAZING.  The puzzles are AMAZING.  The audio/music/voice-work is AMAZING.

Hell, there's not much I can find that's bad about Metroid Prime 3: Corruption.  I can only nit-pick a few things, and most of these things have nothing to do with the game whatsoever.  So, here are all the bad things I can think of:

  1. It took about a month to reach Europe.  Nintendo still seems oblivious to the option of SIMULTANEOUS WORLD-WIDE RELEASES.  Well, at least it's better than Super Paper Mario.
  2. I haven't been able to play it that much since my sisters have been using the Wii a lot.  Stupid women.
  3. No multiplayer.  Not that big of a deal for me since Metroid has always been a single-player at heart.  But ever since playing Metroid Prime: Hunters on the DS, I've been yearning for a multiplayer Metroid on the Wii.
  4. If you've played the previous Metroid games, there's not much new to this sequel (except, obviously, the revolutionary controls, voice-acting etc.) and in addition, things seemed to have been "dumbed down" a little for the more casual gamer.  But that is eradicated through the harder difficulty modes.

And now, on a more positive note.  Here are some of the good things (I can't note all of the good things):

  1. Awesome controls.  If you haven't read this somewhere already: to open certain doors and pump things etc.  you actually do the corresponding actions with the Wiimote.  Not a big thing, but certainly adds a helluva lot to take you into the game.  And the satisfaction of removing a enemy's shield using Samus' grapple hook, then blasting it into oblivion never gets old.
  2. It looks awesome.  The visuals are among the best (if not the best) visuals I've seen in a Wii game yet.
  3. The atmosphere the game creates suits it perfectly.  Making the experience just that much more engrossing.
  4. Boss fights.  I can't say too much without spoiling a helluva lot.  But to understand how I feel about this... you've actually got to participate in one.  Trust me, it's worth it.
  5. Easily better than the previous Metroid games of this trilogy.  Nuff said.
  6. The story weaves an intricate web of... well, story.  And the addition of voice-work in cinematic sequences adds so much more to the overall experience.  Take note Nintendo, voice work in other games please!  Even if Samus doesn't talk herself (although she does provide a seemingly endless amount of grunts and groans), but I kinda like it like that.

There are probably some more pros I could come up with, but it's not the time nor place to do it... and because I'm simply procrastinating.

Anyway, my final verdict:


Obviously, if you're like my friend:  Ashley - who happens to dislike Metroid games, *gasp* blasphemy!  Kill the heathen!, then maybe you shouldn't buy it.  But I don't see why you would hate Metroid games... I should ask him sometime.

No reply back from Ducti yet.  In case you're wondering.  Maybe they get a lot of mail that takes some time to sort through... or maybe they're just plain lazy.  Who knows?

But I'm not to bothered, I have my wallet to keep me company.

Well, apparently I'm going to a Halloween Party.  When?  On Halloween (31st October), of course, dumbass.

Technically I shouldn't be going, since it's a rival college.  But hey, do I look like someone that cares?

If you answered 'Yes' you might as well make yourself comfortable at the Naughty Corner now.

Also, I'm sure I was told that it was fancy-dress.  So I'd need to dress up to get inside.  Gavin or Ashley, I forget :P, had a stroke of genius and said the three of us should go as characters from: 'Battle Royale' the movie.  Which I recommend to anyone who loves films.

It was an ingenious idea since I could just wear my old school uniform, slash some fake blood on it and carry a pan lid to the party (you'd get that joke if you've watched the film).  Sadly, there's some problems with that.  For starters, I can't find a clean white shirt (my last one was graffitied into the 7th Level of Hell,  remember?).  Secondly, I'm unsure whether my old black trousers fit me and I can't find a tie.

I know I could probably easily remedy this situation through buying them, but you know what I'm like.  What's the point of buying it if I'm just going to wear it for one night and then throw it to the back of my wardrobe to gather dust mites on?  Answer:  There isn't a point.  Hell, I don't even know where points came into the subject matter.

But after a little IM conversation with Daisy, not that long ago in fact, I may not have to.  You can see the important part of the conversation below:

- John©® *naf
actually i hav no idea wots happening that night


- John©® *naf
lol, im not even sure wot im goin as

I'm notdressing up

- John©® *naf
apparently me, gav and ash are meant to dress up as something

- John©® *naf
wait... i thought u need to dress up to get into the party



- John©® *naf
... dont u?

don't think so :S

I'll ask the tech

- John©® *naf
u do that

Everything might be solved!  Hooray!  But there's also another problem...

I have college the day after... which means that if I get wasted out of my mind then I'm going to have a really horrible day the day after the party.  So, I have to limit myself (which anyone knows, is pretty damn hard) to a few drinks only.  So I don't have a hangover & a hell of a headache the following day.  Unlike Kate's party, which I felt like sh*t for a few days afterwards... but the lack of sleep didn't help either.

While we draw ever closer to Halloween I'll like to rant about one thing:


Don't get me wrong.  I love Christmas -I think it's one of the most awesome festivals of the year.  But come on!  It's OCTOBER.  THAT MEANS IT'S HALLOWEEN MONTH.  NOT BLOODY 'GET READY FOR XMAS MONTH.'  I hate how retailers are already stocking up on Xmas stuff.  It really gets on my nerve.  I wouldn't mind if it was after Halloween, but before?!  That's outrageous.  I think we should take one festival at a time.

Retailers take note:


Good advice there.

And I'll leave you with this picture courtesy of Steve's Blog:  The Sneeze.

Yes, it's the butt-crack of the 'Humpkin.'  More info about it can be found here:  The Humpkin

To be honest, I should be doing my media essay now instead of posting on my blog.  But I can't find a suitable 'media text' -basically: advert- to analyse.  Until now...

I was downstairs not long ago and saw this advert on TV.  And instantly, I knew it was THE ONE.  It just clicked.

 Believe in a Hero.

Awesome advert.  I'm definitely writing about that.

This long post is topped off by:


a permanent improvised on-the-spot story-driven/telling feature on this blog.  Enjoy.


'That's...  that's...'  I stared into the pale, faint glow that was emitting from the open bag.  'an orb.'

Inside the bag sat a solitary orb, of a unique grayish colour.  There was nothing particular special about it, but when I looked closer... swimming inside the orb was wisps of darker gray.  It was sort of entrancing, like I was watching the creation of universes.

'That saved you from certain destruction?!'  Gimely said with a loud outburst.

My other-worldly me explained:  'This is no ordinary orb.  It's one of the "Sacred Orbs."  In fact, we also suspect Marodeth has one.'

'Or many.'  Ivor enunciated his words in his distinct Russian tone.  Adding to the creepiness factor of the statement.

'And what, pray tell, do these orbs do?'  Gavin -my Gavin- asked curiously.  I don't blame him.  These orbs sound powerful and look to be a major help.

Gavin's from the other world replied.  'A variety of things.  From increasing the battle power of it's holder by a hundred-fold to raising the dead.  There are possibly hundreds of these orbs.  And new types are found everyday, but not all are useful in combat.'

'So, how did this one save you guys?'  I asked.  I was extremely interested in this unique ability since it could save such immensely powerful warriors (I like flattering myself) from death.

'This particular orb controls the dominion over space.'  Ivor said.  The four of us were scratching our heads now.  Dominion over space...?  'I'll explain further:  It's one of the so-called "Legendaries" a special set of orbs that have dominion over certain things.  Like the elements of fire, water et cetera.  This orb controls space; allowing us to warp the space around us and past through it as we please.'

'...  Er... You lost me at "Legendaries".'  Lewis said.  Frankly, neither of us understood it fully, but it looks like Lewis got hit by the whole damn stupid tree.

'It seems my friend here has complicated matters.'  Gavin -the other Gavin- stated.  'I'll explain it better.  Do you understand what I mean by Time & Space?'  We nodded.  'This orb grants dominion over space.'

'Ah...'  Rang out throughout the room.

'Then why don't we warp straight to Marodeth's castle and kick his ass now?!'  Gimely asked in a straight-forward matter.

'It doesn't exactly work like that...'

How does it work?

*shrugs*  The hell would I know.

Story time at last =P

'Lucky to make it back alive!' Gimely yelled

'Well you see, Marodeth is the strongest living evil person ever. We were sent to the Key world to kill Marodeth, we got very close to completely our objective but Marodeth used the last of energy to blow up the the battle ground and retreated and thought we were destroyed in the blast' WJUK explained.

'So, how did you survive?' I asked

Look-a-like me stood up and walked off somewhere and came back with something in a bag.

'What's that?' Lewis asked

'What we are going to show is one of a kind' Gavin said.

Gavin unzipped the bag and put his hand into the bag and pulled an object out

'What is that?' All three of us said at once.

Thursday, 25 October 2007

1 Day till MP3! Ducti contacts me!

Tomorrow. 26th October. Will be an iconic day in UK Gaming history.

Metroid Prime 3: Corruption is coming out. Officially in the UK.

Granted it's been out for about 2 months in North America, but at least we get it before Australia & Japan. So HA! especially at Japan, since they pretty much always get something before us.

I can't wait to get my hands on it and actually try an awesome FPS game on the Wii (Red Steel was kinda... 'meh' for me; the sword fights sucked). Hell, it was the first thing I thought of one I looked at the Wiimote. FPS.

So don't worry if I seem dead for the next few days or so... I will just have Metroid-itsis.

Who doesn't want to play that?! I mean the game, not Samus. You dirty minded b******.

OMFG! You'll never guess what happened. Remember my last post? New Banner, New Wallet!

Well, I was contacted by Ducti! I really never thought that would happen. My last line about it was:

'Make sure someone sends this to the dudes who own Ducti... or Bill Triplett he sounds like an awesome guy.'

And that was only a joke. But it seems someone did tell them (or they found it somehow). And this is the message they sent to me (it was actually sent via the suggestions form at the bottom of the page):

Glad you like the Triplett and the fact that we try to get a bit of humour into our products. Can't wait to tell George our Commercial Director about your blog because he wrote the Ducti text!!


Iain Miller

Managing Director

Ducti UK

Is that awesome or what? See? Some commercial companies do care. How did Ian find out about it... I wonder...

Nevermind, and again I suggest some of you check out some of the products they have on the Ducti website. The produce some quality wallets, that's coming from personal experience. I know I'll be using mine for years to come.

Now... about that bit about being paid for advertising...

EDIT: I've replied to Ducti now. Yea, I know. It was a bit slow of me, but I've been bogged down with work lately... and generally because I only just thought of replying. lol

You may recall that I went to Birmingham yesterday. It was largely a somewhat frustrating affair, due to a number of problems that were out of our control, but it was fun... in a weird and strange way.

We had to wake up early (7 AM!!!) to rent the car. Oh wait, I didn't tell you about that, did I? WE RENTED A 17-SEATER MINIBUS. Yea, that's how awesome my family is. I believe the idea came about on how we were going to transport 14 people down there. 2 cars? 3 cars?


Hell, let's just rent a minibus!

An example of said Minibus (above).

We actually got to Birmingham in record time - remember the fact that we were using a MINIBUS. I think it took us about 3/4 hours to get to Birmingham. But then getting into town was a totally different matter.

We forgot to factor in the fact that Birmingham was a city. And cities have congestion. Especially at 9/10 in the morning. In the end I think we were stuck in one stretch of road for about 2 hours. The horror.

Add in the fact that no one really knew where we were going. So we ended up having lunch at 2. But that lunch was awesome. I stuffed myself silly. Literally.

We also went shopping yada yada. You know the kind.

It was about 4/5 PM when we got to my uncle's house (which was oddly named: 'Dilligaf' ???). That was the real reason we went, since we wanted to check out his new baby - that was born not long ago. And we did.

Unfortunately, due to some clever planning before-hand by me... which fell through. I couldn't get any pictures... yea, I forgot to bring a camera.

Well, said uncle also happened to have an XBox 360. And said uncle happened to have Halo 3...

Except... it was UNPLAYABLE!


Yea, it hit me pretty bad. Turns out his 360 needed a software update or something to play it. Shame. Well, it was copied but ssshhh no one else is meant to know that. We ended up checking out some other games he had.

Call of Duty 3 was a fun choice. We were restricted to playing 2-player games so that more people could join the fray. Needless to say, with my 1337 veteran gaming skills I pwn3d pretty much everyone despite the fact that it was the first time I played the game. The controls were pretty standard for a FPS on the 360, so I picked them up quickly.

Easily the funniest part was when I happened to get my hands on one of those motorbike things which have a extra place to carry passengers. I drove around like a madman and that tactic worked. It was fun mowing people over.

Apart from that not much else happened. I played an assortment of games (Lost Planet, Viva Pinata, Fifa 07 etc.) but none of them really long. We were going to try and play through GoW's campaign mode but never got round to it. For shame...

By the way, we (as in my family) went to KFC today. And somehow we managed to end up spending about £35. It was insane, we ate loads. I'm not even gonna try to list what we ate. But I ate about 6/7 pieces of chicken, 2 pieces of hot wing, several corn of the cobs, ice cream, 3 cups full of Tango and some other stuff I don't remember.

Basically, I'm sort of feeling bloated even now. But boy, was that enjoyable.

Tuesday, 23 October 2007

New Banner, New Wallet!

Ok, sorry about not posting for... a few days.  I cba to check how long it's been.

It's just that I've been really busy lately.  What with going to Birmingham tomorrow, a bunch of work for College to do over the holiday and, of course, Zelda.  Seeing as it's a portable game; I can play it anytime, anywhere (no, seriously.  While eating dinner, watching TV, even in the Bathtub! scratch that last one).  So I've been taking it slow, finding all the treasures etc. before moving along with the story.  And it's really enjoyable, I think I'm near the end since I've been everywhere and just lacking one thing to defeat the ultimate boss.  We'll see though.

Ok, moving onto other stuff.

Yes, as you may have noticed a new banner is up!  Yipee!  Made by yours truly.  And I've got to say, I'm rather proud of it.  It took me about half an hour to do, which I took out of my busy schedule - *ahem* basically when I was suppose to be working.

If you're wondering on what the font is... I can't remember.  I do remember where the picture came from.  The awesome anime of:  Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann.  Which I recommend to anyone interested.

If you're lazy (like me :P) or a general ass (like an... well: ass) then here's the banner:

Awesome, right?  And to think I knocked that up in half an hour.  I'm rather proud of myself.

Because we all need a little luvin' sometime.


And with the announcement of a new banner comes a new wallet!  For me anyway.  I finally, finally, finally got round to getting a wallet.  I was holding out for finding an awesome one - at one point, my sister tried to find a Final Fantasy VII wallet for me... and failed... miserably.  And the one I've got is actually quite awesome.


And no, I'm not pulling your leg (metaphorically speaking).  Here's a picture:

Pretty nice, right?  Ok, you may have noticed some Nickel plated rivets, but that doesn't count.

I hate to say that it seems like I'm advertising for them... but hey, I don't care.  I like it, and so should you.  If not then... prepare to receive some serious torture...  yeouch.

Here's the actual information from their webpage, concerning the above product:


Ducti Original Triplett Wallets
Yes we know most wallets are a bit poncey, dull and corporate - not the Ducti Triplett, our famous Tri-Fold Wallet. Holds eleven credit cards along with id and a stash of cash.
A silvery slice of industrial chic!
This is an Original Handmade Ducti constructed from 100% Super Duct Tape™.

  • 100% Duct Tape Construction
  • Nickel plated rivets for added durability
  • Space for 11 cards
  • Large cash dispenser
  • Lifetime Trade in Policy
  • Size: H 11cms W 8cms Open 24cms

Thanks for packing a DUCTI... and remember, follow your dreams and KEEP IT TOGETHER!


Another good reason I bought it was because it happened to make me laugh.  I'll type out what it says on the blurb(?) to show you what I mean: Allow me to go one step further!  I've scanned in the whole back of the product thing:

Actually just in case, I'll type out the blurb anyway.  Since I'm such a nice guy, and some of you may have images turned off... or something.  Or you may be blind, who knows?

Deep in the Black Forest is a legend of a man, with magical powers to bring ancient machines to life and young women to their knees.  We've named this wallet after him because he's a man's man and a woman's answer to prayer (uh... just in case you're wondering, yes, he did write that introduction... and no, his wide didn't see it.)  You see, not being experienced in the ways of manufacturing, Bill stepped in - and with the sheer force of his incredible will - guided us through the blackness into the light.  To Bill Triplett... may your stature and your stories always be larger than life.

Awesome, right?  That's what corporate manufacturers are missing nowadays.  A sense of humour.

Anyway, I'll leave you with the link to their website while I lavishly stroke my duct-tape made wallet.  And guess what?  It feels... duct-tapey... yet so good...


It's definitely worth a look, seeing as they have some pretty cool stuff there.

Just for the record:  I'm not being paid for this.

If I was I would write it out so Ducti would be the equivalent of Jesus or something... wait, that was a bad example since I'm not a Cristian...

Lemme try that again:  If I was being paid... I would shed light on Ducti like it was equivalent to CHUCK NORRIS.

*hint hint* *nudge nudge*  Make sure someone sends this to the dudes who own Ducti... or Bill Triplett he sounds like an awesome guy.

And so ends our world-wind tour of new stuff.  And because I was in a procrastinating mood last time (more than I am now, anyways) I didn't do the story.  So... enjoy it now:


Everyone sat down in their places.  And all was quiet until Gavin & I (not us... but them) stood up and started to explain the situation.

My look-a-like started first:  'Ok, as you may be aware we're you.'  He said, pointing at me.  I nodded subconsciously.  'That's a given.  But now let us explain WTF is happening.'

Now Gavin's look-a-like took over:  'You may be aware of the fact that there are alternate dimension, right?'  That was a rhetorical question.  'Well, all these worlds/dimensions spin on an axis.'

'The pillar of life.'  Said Ivor - in his distinctly Russian accent.

'Yes, thank you Ivor.  The pillar of life.  And right in the middle spins a world different to all the others...'

'The key world.'  My look-a-like added.  'The world where history is written and lost.  In this world, once something is erased there is no going back, and that thing is also lost in all other worlds.'

'Wait lemme guess.'  I cut in curiously.  'We're in this key world, aren't we?'

'Yes.  The very world that holds the door to your futures.'  My look-a-like replied.

'WOAH WOAH WOAH!  Slow down there cowboy.'  Lewis voiced loudly.  'All this talk about worlds and doors!  Cut to the chase.  Why are we here?!'

For once Lewis made a helluva lot of sense.

'A good question.'  Lewis' look-a-like replied.  He stood up and started to walk around the table.  'You see, this key world is the key to all existence.  Hence the name.  But now, something is threatening that existence.  The very existence required for all forms of life, in EVERY WORLD to survive and prosper.'

'The dark nemesis.'  Ivor butted in again.  He sat tall, easily towering over everyone sat at the table.  The bright room displayed all his rough features in full effect.  His blonde, rugged hair looked like he hasn't washed in a while.  A menacing scar also run through the right side of his face, passing through his right eye-lid.

My look-a-like began to speak once again.  The way this talk was set out sounds like it was choreographed - but knowing me, and trust me: I know myself well, this is all done on the fly.  'The dark nemesis.  Marodeth.'

No one spoke at this moment.  I could hear others inhauling and exhauling.

Finally Gimely broke the silence.  'Marodeth?  What kind of name is that?'

'His name represents true evil in this world and possibly all the other worlds as well, although his influence on other worlds may not be so greatHe lives in the kingdom to the West, in what seems like a totally different world.  And only us four from our kind have truly set-foot on that desolate and monster-filled cesspool of a wasteland.'

'You've been there?'  I asked.

'Yes.  In an attempt to banish the Marodeth into the etheral realms of the dead.  We failed.  His strength over-powered all of us, he feeds of the hate and anger of the people.  We only manage to reach the front gate of his castle.'

'It was a wonder we made it back alive.'


A new enemy!  This one sounds a lot more powerful!

I made deliberately made it longer to make up for the lack of posts lately.

And I should have a post tomorrow, since I'm going to Birmingham.  Yay!

Sunday, 21 October 2007

Phantom Hourglass

Sorry about not posting and everything...  It wasn't my fault.  Honest.  It was... er... the internet space ninjas.  Yes they ambushed me and locked me in a solitary cell, in their giant space ship near the moon...  It took me a while to escape... let's just leave it at that and never speak of this matter again...

Anyway, I think this will probably become a regular posting pattern for me from now on.  Posting every few days or so, but mainly when I want to.  Yea, that sounds awesome... for me.

Anyway, I picked up Phantom Hourglass on Friday; when I went to town with Gavin & Ashley.  Which yielded some bizarre results - let's just keep it as we almost made our own religion.  More about that later.


But first!  The Legend of Zelda:  Phantom Hourglass.  What can I say that hasn't been said before?  I've only had two gripes about this game:

1)  The temple of the Ocean King is a pain in the ass.  Since you got to go through the same levels again.  But the idea of being able to access it right from the start is a revolutionary idea.

2)  WHY THE HELL DID IT TAKE SO BLOODY LONG TO REACH US?!  Japan got on JUNE 23rd.  That's about... *calculates* 3/4 months ago!  Tsk tsk Nintendo.  I'm really ashamed.  That's the one thing you can't seem to do, release title simultaneously.  I guess, in the end, the homeland comes first.  Eh Miyamoto?

By the way, if you don't know who Shigeru Miyamoto is... you've been living under a rock for the vast majority of your life, haven't you?

Enough of gripes though.  Lemme talk about what makes this so EPIC.

Stylus control.  Awesome.  I didn't think I would like to the control scheme so much, as a similar control scheme was applied for Animal Crossing... but I ended up using the D-pad.  Yea, shame on me.  But being the only control scheme available in Zelda (the buttons bring up menus and stuff), you have no choice but to get use to it.  And I did, and with relative ease as well.

Without the stylus controls, this game wouldn't be possible - AT ALL.  It depends so heavily on the stylus (not to mention other features of the DS).  Some of the puzzles Nintendo have created in this game are simply mind-boggling.  The way you can control where the ship goes, where the boomerang flies etc.  It comes together in a nice, neat package that is totally awesome and easily accessible by anyone.

And about the other features of the DS that is employed in the game.  Well... pretty much EVERY POSSIBLE FEATURE is used in this game.  The microphone is used in a variety of ways - I'll try not to spoil too much.  But you can use it to blow windmills (hey, your Link!  You can do anything.); there's even a monster that is susceptible to loud noises.  But it doesn't really take a loud noise to make it cover it's ears, allowing you to open a can of whoop ass onto it's freakishly deformed (and disproportional) body/head.

Then the dual screens.  Nintendo have utilized this feature to it's extent too.  In normal gameplay, the top screen displays a map of the place you're currently at (or in) and at any given time you can bring it down and write on it.  You must be thinking: 'Write on it.  Oh wow.  I've never seen that before.'  Yea well, all I have to say is: 'Screw you.'  This feature is awesome.  I can't believe how frickin useful it is, no seriously - you would think that you wouldn't need it that much; but it's got me thinking that any game on the DS that has a map should have this feature.  Anyway, back to the dual screens.  The ability of being able to show two things really does improve the gameplay.

For instance:  In one boss battle, the boss can make himself invisible.  Meaning that on the bottom screen (which shows Link and his surroundings) you can't see him.  Duh.  BUT on the top screen (which usually displays a map - but in this instance doesn't since the room is a basic elliptical shape) shows the viewpoint from the monster!  It was a different experience to say the least, and something which I totally didn't expect.  And yea, it did take me a while to understand that I was looking through the enemies eyes.

There's also one other situation that I want to share with you that is so totally awesome.  I've just gone through the Temple of the Ocean King (again - but this time a little further).  And I reach the last room (which I can go to) and I find that there was nothing there... but a large symbol on the wall.  Hm... I've seen that symbol before I thought.  And there was a riddle or something (I can't exactly remember) where it said that only the 'one possessing the Sun Key can pass through the door'  or something along those lines.  Then up-popped a map, displaying a mark on the map.  But thing is, the map was upside down.  I brought up my own sea-chart map, only to find I couldn't write on it.  Hm... it told me to:  'Press the tablet against the sea chart to make an impression.'  Weird?  Yea.  I just couldn't figure it out.  So, I closed my DS and went for a snack - hoping the food will go straight to my brain.

I come back, to find that the mark was on my sea chart!  Do you get it now.  Since the stone tablet map thing was upside down, I had to bring up my own sea chart (off the same area) on the bottom screen then close my DS.  Clever?  Yea, I thought so too.  Isn't that just awesome?  This was another thing that I didn't expect, with the features the DS provides.  Nintendo have really outdone themselves with this game.

AND I HAVEN'T EVEN BEATEN THE GAME YET!  Woah.  There are probably going to be way more interesting stuff later in the game, but I've yet to get there.

And for anyone who is concerned:  It stays true to the Zelda formula.  Zelda is kidnapped (or in this case:  'Tetra').  Link is like:  'OMFG!  ZOMG!  I MUST SAVE HER!'  Link goes on quest.  Finds some brand-spanking new awesome equipment.  Progresses through temples.  Yada yada.  And saves Zelda (most probably, I haven't completed the game yet so there may be a twist...?).

Actually, it does break from that rule occasionally.  Which means for someone who has played a Zelda game before (i.e. me).  The storyline feels fresh and new... to a degree that is.  I still get hit by occasional bouts of:  'Hey... haven't I done this before in that other Zelda game.'  But that's something I've come to expect in a game like this.  If you don't believe me about twists in the storyline etc.  I've already saved Zelda, and I'm about halfway through the game.

You must be asking:  'WTF?!'  Yea, well... I've saved Zelda to an extent.  She's just... you know... stone.  STONE, WTF?!  I see, that's probably made you more confused.  This is a massive spoiler but she kinda got the her very living soul sucked out of her.  That's not good.  And now I gotta do some stuff to get her soul back.  Capiche?

It may be a tad confusing to a person who hasn't played the game...

So what I'm saying now is:  GO BUY THIS GAME.  End of story.

Now about the shopping trip on Saturday.  I don't really remember much about it - hey, cut a guy some slack.  It was days ago now.  And besides, it's late at night so-



Now over to our correspondent... er... me.

Yes, thank you... er... me.  A tsunami hit the book world today when J.K. Rowling revealed a revelation that shook the whole Harry Potter series to it's roots.  I suspected this from the start but it's now official:


No seriously.  I'm not joking.  From the writers own mouth, even check out the Leaky Cauldron.

Lol.  To be honest, I only did this because Kate (yea, you know her) is a total HP fan-girl.  I'm not joking there.  And I thought that this may piss her off to some extent... unless she welcomes this new information.  In that situation:  Damn.  I failed again.

Binky:  So.  Uh.  What are we going to do tomorrow night, Brain WJUK?

WJUK:  The same thing we do every night Binky boy.  TRY TO TAKE OVER THE BLOGOSPHERE.

*Music cuts in*  Binky, Binky, Binky and the... er... ok, nevermind the song is totally ruined now.  NARF!


-my brains not really in gear.  I only recall going to GameStation and picking up Phantom Hourglass.  The rest of the morning is a blur in my mind.  Except for the final moments where we sat in front of a church (despite my continuous urges that we should sit inside, away from the wind and the elements).  Gavin managed in insult god a few times, and I've told him about that - I'm surprised he didn't already now, apparently he was doing "something" at that time... don't look at me - and he says he'll dish at suitable punishment.  I suggested the "hand of god" punishment (since I haven't seen that one since Eve ate that apple... ah, brings back memories), but he was in a procrastinating mood.  I then suggested the "finger of god" that didn't work out either.

Anyway, somehow we managed to move onto creating our own religion.  No, idea how that came about...

Oh wait, I do.  It all started when Ashley said we were atheist.  And he said that we should form our own religion.  I believe what he said was along these lines:

'In this religion.  We'll believe that hundreds upon thousands upon millions upon billions upon trillions of years ago.  An alien from a far-away planet happens to crash land onto Earth.  He plants some "seeds" into a large volcano that happened to take up a third of the (then) Earth.  He left, leaving a trail of clues behind of his existence and a means of contacting him -just in case there are technical difficulties- and when the Volcano erupted it spread the seeds far and wide.  The seeds then formed new life and thus the human race was born.  Our religion is formed to try and find and piece together the clues left behind so that we may achieve a higher state of Nirvana by being closer with this super-natural being...'

What a touching story.  Brings tears to my eyes.  In case you haven't noticed, I think he was mocking Scientology, which frankly... I think is a joke.  The only reason it has so many members is because of Tom Cruise.  And I swear he's being paid oodles of cash.  But in saying:  'Nirvana'  I think he also mocked Buddhism (and the band).  But nevermind.

You'll never believe this.  And I'll probably never live this down but there's a reason this post is this late today.  Well...  I got locked into the bathroom.

Yes for 15/20 furiously frustrating minutes, I attempted to free myself of the evil clutches my bathroom closed.  I had to prevail over numerous traps and tricks.  Solving many a puzzle.  Until I finally met the boss of the temple room:  'Showerhead the nefarious Showerhead.'  I managed to defeat the malignant beast and free the princess!  YAY!

Wait.  What?

Geez, where's your sense of humour.  I thought I'd just spice up a relatively boring story.  Anyway, I was locked in and we had to unscrew the handles to get me out.

This isn't the first time it's happened either.  Last time I was locked in my own room!  Except that time I had to computer (and the Internet) for company.  But in the bathroom, there was no such consolation.  Only rich people have the internet in the bathroom.  Yea, you know your rich when you have the internet in your bathroom.  I think doors hate me.

Actually, I think my dad is trying to fix it now.

What I've learned from this life-threatening experience:  Er...  that maintaining your doors so they are in tip-top shape is important... ?

It's now 2:26.  According to my computer clock anyway.  And I'd love to continue with the story and everything, but you know.

A guy's got to sleep.

And I'm not feeling the writer's vibe.  I ARE BRAIN-DEAD.  Pretty much says it all in one sentence.

Besides, it's not that long of a wait until my next post.  Live with it.  If you're going to patiently refresh this page until the next post, I have one thing to say:  Get a life... and thanks for enjoying this blog so much.


Saturday, 20 October 2007


Yep, the title is the reason why I haven't posted in awhile.
Plus I was busy on night, that night being named 'The night of 110 PWNs!' and what a fun night it was.

Anyways on with the story.

We waited around five minutes with an awkward silence in the air. Finally, the same door we came through swung open.

Stood their was 2 figures, the darkness covered their faces as they walked forward.

'Hey guys' One of they said in a familiar voice, it was Lewis. He had change quite considerably, he had a AK-47 at his side with 2 swords strapped on his back. He was more confident aswell judging by the way he walked.

Our look-a-likes glanced over and gave an even more familiar welcoming. We hadn't changed much.

'Mission complete here' WJUK's look-a-like said, 'We have the past us'

'Good', Lewis said, 'We need all the help we can get'

'Yeah, now we can breif them and introduce the new guy'

The other guy which came in with Lewis stepped forward showing himself. He was considerable taller then all of us, wearing a combat uniform like the army but weilding a huge hammer made of stone and a double barrel shotgun, this guy meant business just by the way he looked

'I'm Ivor' He said in a deep voice.

We glanced over and gave a quick wave but Gimely wasn't impressed 'What happened to me?'

'Nothing' Gimely said back jumping in from above and onto the table in front of us 'Now, shut up and lets start informing you of the current situation.'

Thursday, 18 October 2007

The night of 110 PWNs!

Yea sorry about not posting yesterday.  If you have any complaints about it, send it to this email:



Ok, joking aside.

Yesterday was fun.  Seeing as it was the final day before half-term.  Not that much to speak about, except in media...



Jamie Freshwater(my partner in crime for media):  Yes, we know.  He's always ripped.  Look at those abs...


JF:  *It finally hits him*  OMFG!  That's not possible!  It goes against the rules of the universe.

<We both run around in circles for an hour, while flailing out helpless arms in the air>


Yes, my friends.  RIP Chuck Norris.  I never thought I would say that.  Anyway, I managed to fix him.   Using intricate weaving and a needle, I managed to surgically stitch back his broken torso...  ok, you got me.  I used glue and stuck a giant slab of paper onto him.  Hey, at least his Uzi's were fine.

Then last night we had a massive conversation that comprised of Ashley, Daisy, Me, Gavin, Laura (and later Lewis).  And I mean massive conversation.

Obviously, posting the whole chat transcript here is ludicrous!  Since when I moved it into word (at size 10 font) it took up 61 pages.  Yes, you heard me.


You wanna see it?

Well, I thought off an alternative:  110 PWNs

It started at 19:25 and ended at 22:44.  That's... 3 hours and 19 minutes.  That is insane.


You may be wondering what the 110 PWNs is about.  Well, let me enlighten you.  Unless you decided to read through the whole of the above chat transcript.

Here is how it started:

Daisy says (20:34):
Daisy-May.    Another Plastic Lie From The Factory. says:
give me ideas for halloween costume 

Ben.                           ily Beth says:
rite ok

Ben.                           ily Beth says:
go as yourself

ash says (20:34):

-    John©® *naf says (20:34):


LMAO!  PWN3D!  And then it escalated into this:

Daisy says (20:51):
he says every thursday
he'll wake me up
never does

-    John©® *naf says (20:51):
i dont see how he cud wake u up
u being so wasted most of the time and all

Daisy says (20:52):

Gav™ says (20:52):

-    John©® *naf says (20:52):
lol, PWN3D
how many times is that?

Gav™ says (20:52):

Daisy says (20:52):
you're counting?!

-    John©® *naf says (20:52):
we should have a PWN3Do-meter to keep track of this


And very soon it became this:

-    John©® *naf says (21:24):
halo 3 is awesome

Lewis says (21:24):

Daisy says (21:24):

-    John©® *naf says (21:24):
38 on the PWN3Do-meter

Lewis says (21:24):

Lewis says (21:25):
if you dont see the halo craze there is somthing wrong

Daisy says (21:25):
it was suppose to be the best game ever
highly doubt that

Lewis says (21:25):
why whats better??

-    John©® *naf says (21:25):


Yea, as you can see above.  Daisy decided to bitch about how crap Halo 3 was (don't ask me).  And I set the record straight.  In style.

Since I cba to copy & paste anymore.  It descended into this:

-    John©® *naf says (21:52):
105 on the PWN3Do-meter!

Daisy says (21:52):
becaus eI have to go

Gav™ says (21:52):

-    John©® *naf says (21:52):

Daisy says (21:52):

-    John©® *naf says (21:52):
106 on the PWN3Do-meter!!!


Now, that was fun.  I haven't been in a conversation like that in donkey's years.  Speaking of donkeys...

Daisy says (20:54):

Gav™ says (20:54):
gays? donkey fucking whore

-    John©® *naf says (20:54):
22  on the PWN3Do-meter

Daisy says (20:55):
I don't fuck donkey's
I prefer smaller cocks


Confession.  Yeouch.


Let's move onto more recent stuff.  Like today.  After my review thing with Barry, I went to town with Ashley.  For no apparent reason... hey, you don't need a reason to go to town.

A lot of funny stuff happened.  Like Ashley was telling me what happened the day before:

'I was walking down this street when right in front of me, this little kid ran head first into that lamp post *points to lamp post*.  She then fell backwards and into my leg.  She was crying very loudly.  Her dad, who was quite big, just turned around and stared at me...'

LMAO.  It was hilarious.  By the way, the "kid" is a girl.  Then I came up with a funnier scenario, it's based off the one above:

'The kid hits the lamp post and she's holding a milk shake.  She drops the milk shake which goes over eveything, even you *points to Ashley*.  When she falls backwards, she catches your trousers to prevent herself from... you know:  falling over.  This happens to pull your trousers down.  She ends up on the floor, spread eagle with milk shake over her.  While you are there with milk shake on you too and your trousers at your ankles...'

Yeouch.  That would have been priceless.  Ashley's way of tackling that scenario would have been to run... and run goddamn fast too.


Some other stuff happened.  Like trying to shop for Halloween costumes, you can pretty much picture how that went.  I was also told some stuff and was sworn to secrecy; although I don't see how big of a deal it is.


We're going to town again tomorrow, with Gavin.  So, wait for those hilarious results.  I'm also picking up Zelda: Phantom Hourglass on the DS.  Although maybe I should have pre-ordered it... damn.  I'll test my luck.


Psst.  Webdings.

Ashley woke up NAKED in a GRAVEYARD!  OMFG!

Tuesday, 16 October 2007

WTF you doing here?

Today was our form-dubbed, self-proclaimed 'Pirate Day.'  But more about that later.

Maths was first and we had to hand in our mock exam papers.  Ah crap.

It was a toughie as well (but that's to be expected since I'm taking Further Maths).  But I didn't let this trouble me and handed it in.  The lesson was good, and laughs were frequent.  And biscuits followed since it was the last lesson we were having this half term with Sue.

Oh and she didn't do our PI (Performance Indicators) things.  Why?  Well, she had a valid reason.  She planned to do it yesterday night but her house got burgled.  That must have been pretty bad.

I think we should have a moment of silence for Sue... 's house.

<1 minute passes>

See?  Don't you just feel like a better person?


Anyway, moving on.  Tutor was next.  And turns out hardly anyone dressed up as pirates anyway.  There was one male student dressed up as one.  And there were about 6/7 female students dressed up.  The others that didn't were demoted to wearing crappy newspaper hats.  That included me.  There were also two people that came in to talk about EMA and whatnot.  Ah...  I wasn't even listening.  I was dreaming about half-term in all it's free-time glory.

Even though I was meant to be raising money for charity (testicular and prostate cancer charity, for that matter) I cba.  Since I had no lessons left.

It also seemed like a bunch of other forms also had ideas about dressing up for charity.  I saw someone come in with pink PJs on.  And a bunch of girls dressed up as nurses - I walked right past them and there was only one real looker in them.  Well, from what I could tell.  You have no idea how packed the corridors are at breaks.  It's almost to the point of breaking the walls, and if you stand for too long it feels like your suffocating...


Oh and what the title means.  I almost forgot.  At break, I was standing outside the LRC (Learning Resource Center...  Basically a posh name for: 'Library') with Suhaib and Lucas when I noticed...


Despite being Franklin's biggest rival in the area, Franklin still let Grimsby advertise at their college.  Aw... how nice of them.

And how stupid.

But upon further inspection, they were advertising the Uni courses they were offering.  The 'upon further inspection' bit meant I went up and had a gander.

I chatted with the woman there about random things - that had nothing whatsoever to do about what she was trying to advertise here.  Took a booklet thing and ran off.


Ok, maybe not ran off.  I walked off while waving and stood a few feet away, talking with Lucas and Suhaib.  But hey, it's close enough.

Also, below is the cover of the booklet I stole obtained from the desk.  It's not a prospectus, but it'll do.  It'll do...


As you can see.  It looks... from black & whitish.  But I think that's the effect they're going for.

Actually speaking of prospectuses, it recalls a distant memory from my Grimsby College Media Student years.  You must be thinking: 'Oh dear god.  Please no flashback.'  Well, too bad.  My blog, my rules... or something.

It all started on a warm, sunny Summer's day.  The sky was blue, the bird's were singing and there was no cloud in sight.  But we were stuck inside doing media.  Ok, maybe I don't really remember what the weather was like, but I got to start it off somehow, right?

Anyway, at the end of the lesson a photographer came in and wanted to take some photos.  I reluctantly stayed behind for the greater good (as the camera lens would have broke for anyone else... joke joke... please don't kill me) - and this happens all the time; to show your 'diverse' range of students you always have to have a photo of an Asian or Black kid.  It's simple business model.  Well anyway, somehow Daisy was also told to stay behind for the picture.  And so did Aaron.

Fortunately, the photographer decided to remove Aaron's ugly mug from the photo and have him hold the camera.  So, I ended up having to sit on the right side of a chair, shared by Daisy.  At first, we sat with a gap comparable to the Grand Canyon itself.

But after numerous urges by the photographer we somehow ended up touching, shoulder-to-shoulder.  Then he said that we were still not close enough so I ended up having to put more arm round her.  I was running late and needed to catch everyone up anyway, so I thought: 'Screw it.'  And yes, it was awkward.

He took the photo, and off he pranced.  Happy as a bunny.

We didn't hear form him in a while.  Then, a few weeks later, someone tells me to look through the prospectus and surprise surprise the photo ends up in there.  So, I ended up being in the Grimsby College Prospectus for '07 for the whole of Grimsby to see.

Unfortunately (or fortunately), I cannot find this photo anymore.  So you don't get to laugh at me or poke fun or anything.  Ha.

I swear I have been condemned to hell forever.

Btw, say the following in a rhythmical manner: ~It's story time, oh yes it is~

Oh yes,  the long-awaited next chapter of the now-infamous JUNCTION SWORDS.  As follows:


Gavin's look-a-like pushed it open to reveal a beam of light.  It was blinding.

My eyes finally got accustomed to the light and I peered into the room.  Our look-a-likes had already started to make their way across the room.

I looked around.  The room was completely white.  There's no premise to where the walls started or the floor ends.  And in the middle is one solitary table, with 8 chairs round it.  The table was also pure white, and the only way to define it out from the background was the black trims around the edges.  The chairs also sported a light-colour, a light-grayish tint.  They were of simple design - like a carpenter just decided to smack a few pieces of wood together and call it a chair.

'What are you waiting for?  Sit down already.'  My look-a-like said, now with his feet perched atop the table and leaning back onto two chair legs.  His voice resonated across the room.  Strangely, there were no echoes.

'Haha!  Leave them be.  They're just being cautious.'  Said Gavin's look-a-like who looked surprisingly happy-go-lucky.  'Hell, I'd check every goddamned thing in this room for traps first before I even consider entering it; if I was in their situation.'  My look-a-like simply nodded in agreement and stared off into space.  Looking like he was very far away.

Gavin, finally deciding that the coast was clear and everything was fine, made his way to the table.  I quickly followed, as did the others.

We sat down solemnly, opting to sit on the opposite side of the round table.  Our look-a-likes were facing us.  No one spoke for the majority of what seemed like an hour.

Gimely finally couldn't take anymore.  He stood up and smacked his hands (or paws???) onto the table.  He looked disgruntled.  'Well?  Aren't you guys going to tell us anything?  We've been sitting here like brain-dead zombies for ages!'

My look-a-like didn't flinch one bit, as he continued to stare into the same space he had been for the whole of the time.  Gavin's look-a-like shot a quick glance at Gimely.  Who promptly sat back down, understanding this cue.

He replied:  'We could start now.  But then we'd be giving insufficient information.'

'WTF does that mean?'  Gimely asks.  This time, sitting down, looking slightly ashamed by his previous outburst.

'That basically means:  We've got to wait for the other two to arrive first.'

Who are the other two?

What does this all mean?

Where's my cake?*

All will become clear in the next few installments.



Damn you for living woman... damn you forever!

But you got to say, it's really catchy.

Monday, 15 October 2007

Busy busy busy

It's Monday.  The dreaded day for many children, teenagers and adults alike.  It means the workweek has started again, and you might actually have to do something!  Crazy...

As you may know by now, my Monday is pretty much chocka-blocka (lmao, that always makes me laugh) - which means I'm hella busy.  And I mean that.

I'll show you my timetable for today:

9:00 - 10:15 ~ Media

10:20 - 11:35 ~ Maths

11:50 - 12:15 ~ Tutor

1:45 - 3:00 ~ Maths

3:05 - 4:20 ~ Computing

Ouch.  That's painful.

Media was awesome.  Despite the fact that I got glue and magazine paper all over me.

Yes we were making collages!  OMFG.  I haven't done that in a long while.  It was to 'help us understand the 5 key concepts of Media'  which are basically:

Media Language






Er... obviously the activity didn't work since I can't remember what the first 'I' was.  Damn.  I had to go back and look through my files to find 'Industry' thank god for notes.  I never ever thought I'd say that.

But anyway, it was an awesome lesson.  Partly due to the fact that it was easy.  And partly because our collage owned.  The class was tasked with choosing a letter and sticking stuff on the letter.  We chose 'Audience' so we made a big A and stuck stuff on.  Jamie (Freshwater) who sits next to me was my partner.

And it was all a barrel of laughs.  And by some bizarre work of god, he managed to pick out the magazine that contained Spiderman, Yoda, a bunch of hot girls... and wait for it... wait for it... CHUCK NORRIS.

Yes, we had Chuck Norris in a collage.  We had already automatically won.  Hell, just to make sure we had a super-sized version of him; and a tiny version.  Yoda joined the brawl.  And so did Rémy (from Ratatouille) sticking this giant wooden stick up one of the dude's from Blade's Of Glory's ass.  Own3d.  And then we had Shaun of the Dead on it.

That' it.  Case closed.  We had won already.  Easily the best collage their.  Hands down.  Period.  Game over.


Then there was maths.  This was a lot of laughing and joking etc. and I can't think of anything particularly special to say about it.


Tutor next.  And for some reason, they dubbed tomorrow: 'Pirate Day.'  Then I began listening.  Apparently, for charity, tomorrow everyone's gonna dress up as pirates...  WTF?  I don't think they know that there is already a 'Pirate Day' and it's not on the 16th of October.  They missed it by about a month (it's on 19th September).  Well, being what I was: lazy; I couldn't be asked to correct them and just went along with it.  I have no idea how I'm dressing up as a Pirate tomorrow... but who cares, right?  Screw dressing up as a pirate.


Maths was another barrel of laughs.


Finally Computing.  And turns out we had a test.  I'm sure he mentioned it before, but I probably forgot.  Nevermind.  I pretty much blitzed the test I think.  Missing out only 3 questions (out of a possible 27).  And one of those was only a half question.  Sweet.  That's pretty good for no revision at all.  Seeing as it was all technical stuff.

It has also come to my attention that Grimsby College *ahem* I mean Institute are getting a longer half-term than Franklin.


How the hell does that work?  Overall Franklin have the more hard-working, better-looking and generally more awesome people (excluding people I know from GY) compared to Grimsby.  If anyone should have a longer half-term, it should be us.  Damn you stupid education system!  Damn you!

Well, it still won't stop me enjoying the sweet sweet feel of a holiday.  Sweet...

If you're looking for the story...

It's not here.

Where is it?  You ask?

Er... out to lunch... yea, that's it.


Ok, joking aside.  I cba to do it today.  So wait until tomorrow.

Story time.

Sorry for not posting for awhile. I've been busy with Homework, Sleeping and of course Eating.

For once WJUK and I actually discussed what is going to be involved in Junction Swords

We walked down a short corridor, the walls were a pastey white colour with stainless steel doors each about 10 metres apart.

The two look-a-likes kept walking both with their hands clenched to their swords.

'Where are you taking us!' WJUK yelled.

His look-a-like turned around and glared at WJUK 'Be quiet, these corridors are dangerous' He hissed.

My look-a-like turned around 'You don't want the Tsnorkels coming out at this time'

'The what!?' I said

'Tsnorkels, creatures with the sole purpose to kill humans, at this time of day they hunt in groups of about 100' WJUK look-a-like whispered

We carried on walking down the corridor.

We got to a steel door like all the others one but this one was bigger and had several locks on.

My look-a-like pulled out a key and unlocked the door and pushed it open.

Sunday, 14 October 2007

SSBB... in real life?

Ok, sorry for not posting yesterday.  Seriously though, don't expect me to post every day; 365 days straight.  That's impossible.

Besides, not much happens to me on Saturdays.  For one simple reason:  That's my rest day.  Unless I have something important to do, I pretty much sleep for the whole day.  Which is a rarity for me nowadays.

Another reason (if you want one) is that I felt like sh*t yesterday.  Metaphorically.  So I did, as a matter of fact, sleep for the whole day.  And at the end of the night, I ended up watching Ratatouille (I had to check that was right or not).  And I was unusually content about the whole thing.  And to an extent, I enjoyed it.  I tend to enjoy Disney & Pixar animated films.  They just have that special Disney magic.





Anyway, lets move onto the meat of this post.

SSBB... in real life?

Yea, anyone who has been following this blog will know that I'm really hyped up on SSBB (despite it's lack of a European release date).  And in waiting for it's arrival, I came across this little video.  As you are about to see, it's f*cking insane:

This video walks the tightrope between f*cking hysterical and down-right creepy.  You have been warned.

Check out 3:50.  Naked people...

If you didn't think that was insane or weird... there's something really wrong with you.  But nevertheless, I enjoyed it.  I enjoyed it up to the point that I asked them:  'WTF were you lot smoking that day?  ...  I'll have some please.'  Er... I've yet to get a reply yet.

I also ROFLed at the fact that Sonic just continuously spewed profanities at Tails - which, let's face it, pretty much happens anyway.  The tetris block's voice was annoying, but it added to the effect of the video.

Undeterred by this horrible, stupid, yet surprisingly funny video.  I'm still eagerly awaiting information about a European release.



Thought that was necessary.


Well, that's your daily does of crazy.

I don't get how I keep falling into her trap.  But she always manages to get onto here.  *shrugs*  ...whatever.

No prizes for guessing correctly who I'm on about.  Although there is a prize for getting it wrong.  See?  We're different.  We mix things up a bit.

What's the prize?

*shrugs* ... meh.






- John


I am shocked


- John

when I read that blog

I thoughtyou meant


I would only goto third base

then I realised you meant

I'm a slag


- John
hm... not so sure on wot to reply with...

what do you mean?

- John
*shrugs* im not sure

fair enough

- John
i guess


As you can see I was in an apathetic mood then, so I really didn't care.  But now that I think about it.  That was f*cking slow.

Lemme scroll through the archives again...

Anyway, as you can see the details are rather unpleasant.  And I swear she was lying when she said:  'THANKGOD I WOKE UP' because:

1) She didn't want to wake up.


2) She didn't wake up.

Hm... conspiracy...  So if number 2 is correct, by the natural laws of progression (and nature) they probably went all the way...  *shudders at the thought*  That's just wrong dude.  Well, if not all the way... at least 3rd base.  What?  It's Daisy we're talking bout here.

She's going to kill me.

That was the extract Daisy was talking about.  And that was posted on Thursday 11th October at 22:01.

That was three days ago.

And she first initiated the above conversation at, and I quote from my message history:


If I have my maths correct, which it should be, then...

*faint whispers*  3600 seconds in an hour...  86400 seconds in a day...  7140...  172800...  50580... add them...


It took her 230520 seconds (that's 3842 minutes or 64.03333 hours) for her to tell me.  Now, that's a pretty frickin' long time.

As you can see, I have quite a lot of time on my hands... actually I don't.  Since I have a Computing test tomorrow, and I also have two maths mock exams to do.  Nevermind the other stuff.

I just thought that you would be amused by this fact.  It certainly did me.


Anyway, that's about it.

Oh, and I had no idea until about 2 seconds ago that Kate (and Laura) had posted on the 13th.  You can find the post here:  Good Evening to All!

I have no idea why.  But her post on the 13th, happens to be behind my post on the 11th.  Weird.  I will attempt to rectify that problem now.

...  Ok... in an attempt to rectify the problem, I actually think I have made it worse.  Opps.  Nevermind, they'll never know.  It's somehow managed to lodge itself behind the post I did yesterday.  This is getting more weird by the minute.  I think it's a job for Scooby Doo!

Oh crap, he's busy.  Damn.  Oh well.

And remember people, if you ask nicely you can still be a correspondent (as Kate put it) of this blog; and there's not even an obligation to post frequently (see Kate).  Hooray!


And if you have sharp eyes:  You'll have noticed a new clock.  Hooray!


Night all.


EDIT:  By the way.  I've completed Blazing Angels on the Wii (the campaign mode anyway).  So take that.  It took me about 3 days.  Which is more or less the time it takes Daisy to take notice of information on this blog and relay the information (in the form of UPPERCASE SHOUTING) back to me.  Which I think is quite good.

Saturday, 13 October 2007

Blazing Angels

So, Friday.  The awesome one-lesson day for me; and town-walkabout day.

Firstly, the media lesson.  Since I do things chronologically around here.  Not a lot to talk about, just one bit really.


Which, now that I think about it... is still in my bag.  Probably festering or something.  But the situation which I acquired it in was rather hilarious.  I'll explain:

In the lesson we used the Tesco Value Bourbon Cream Biscuits as a thing to analyse.  And seeing as I thought the biscuits looks depressed because they're not filling their life's purpose.  I decided to make their (and my) wish come true.  I ate them.  I swear I heard: 'YAY!' when I placed the first biscuit in my mouth...

But anyway, at the start of the lesson there were two pack.  Each with about 20/30 each.  Then half-way through the lesson both the packets of biscuits just appeared on my table.  I had one for pretty much the whole time.  Not long after, the first packet was finished (and the packets are a pain in the ass to open; may I add).

And this goes on, until the second pack is pretty much all gone.  Except for maybe 9/10 biscuits left.  At the end of the lesson I stealthily -like a toxicated ninja- I crept across the room, springing about like a demented monkey to reach my ultimate goal...

Ok, so maybe I just nonchantly walked across to where the biscuits doth reside.  But I thought I'd spruce things up a bit.  I picked it up and walked towards the door.  Now, here's what really made it funny.

I walked past Ginny (media teacher for the lesson) and I actually held the pack of biscuits in front of me and said: 'Thanks.'  And she replied: 'No problem.'  I swear she had no idea why I said it, but who cares!  I got biscuits!  On my way out I shared it with a few people.  Since I am so generous (and I felt slightly sick from all the biscuits anyway).

Hm... maybe Ginny deliberately wants me to take it since it has a slow-reacting poison that-




*Respawns*  - You probably won't get that.  That's what Gavin thinks happens to people when they die in RL.

What was I talking bout?  Nevermind.  Let's just move onto town.

It started off with walking towards cash-converters (for no apparent reason).  Ashley was talking about a £60 PSP or something, but I wasn't really listening.  Although they did have some awesome guitars and drum-kits there.  I also noticed they put out the black drum-kit and not the red one.  Clever.

But after looking around and not buying anything we finally made our way towards town.  When we got there, we only had an hour left because Gavin had lesson.  Which sucks.

But I think we went to Eskimoo first.  Then the chicken shop, then to the bank.  Oh wait, we also walked through Woolworths.  Which, by pure chance, made us come face to face with the Wii version of the game demo in Gamestation.  And it was only £15!!!  Gamestation was selling it for £25!  Holy ******** with a cheese on top.  ****.

So, equipped with this knowledge we walked pretty quickly, towards Gamestation.  When we got to about 10 feet away, Gavin suddenly broke out into a run.  Screaming:  'For excalibar!' in the process.  I followed suit, running while shouting:  'For the glory of the Kingdom!'  Ashley also joined him by saying:  'Yo!  Motha-f*cker!'  pretty loudly.

Nah, that didn't happen.  But I wish it did.  No, we just ran into Gamestation.  But there was quite a crowd there (it was Friday lunch), so I had the edge.  With my size, agility, nimbleness and low centre-of-gravity; traversing the crowd was easy.  So I got there first.  Followed by Gavin.  Ashley missed out.

We started playing and -at this point- we were unsure whether or not the game was Blazing Angels (the Wii game we saw in Woolworths), Ashley asked someone.  And indeed it was.  So, Ashley decided to go to Woolworths to buy the game while we stayed there to mess around on the 360.  He came back, buying the game without a hitch.

Afterwards, after also finding the game enjoyable I decided to go buy the Wii version.  And you will not believe what happened next:

A giant spacecraft of gargantuan proportions, piloted by a genetically-modified race of superhumans-

Ah, forgot it.  It's too late to be making up stories.  Plus, the true story is even more preposterous:

I went to pick up the game with Ashley (who got money from Gavin to pick up the game), while Gavin went to the bank to withdraw some money.  And since he destroyed the ATM outside earlier that day, he had to go inside NatWest.  We got there and we picked up two copies of the game and Ashley -in a moment of utter intelligence- says:  'I would ROFL in my pants if there was only one game left.'

Guess what?

Yea, there was one game left.  Damn Ashley and his all-knowing, all-seeing (the future) ways!

Apparently they got new stock in today but they (and I quote) 'hadn't been bothered/had the time to check...'  OMFG.  That's not how it's meant to go.  We're suppose to receive the game and prance away like the happy bunnys we are.  So, since there was one game left I thought.  To hell with it, I'll just buy this one.  Gavin can come back later for his.

For this next part, I need you to see this:

Yea, its the boxart for BA on the Wii.  This is very important, k?  Remember that.

So, I decided to get the remaining game.  But it was not meant to be.  She asked me my age and I said '16'  seeing as there is no point to lie about being 18 or anything.  And then she replies:  'Oh sorry.  I can't sell you this game.'


Apparently on the till it said: '18+'.  Despite the fact that it says 12+ on the boxart and everything.  As you can obviously tell, this was hard to believe.  I almost broke into a frenzied charge at the woman (with which I would have been shouting: 'ARGH!  YOU WON'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY!'

But seeing as their was no point in beating up a 40 year-old cashier for a game (and getting a jail sentence and criminal record in the process).  I walked away.  We met up with Gavin again and he didn't believe it.  But then it hit me.  I still had Super Paper Mario in my bag.  So I ran off towards GameStation and got the game!  Hurray!

The thing is too, I managed to get the game for free!  And in return, I got a 1p store credit thing.  Think of the possibilities...

Amazing.  I like how GS work.

And having played the game on the Wii now, I've got to say that the graphics aren't as good (obviously) but I enjoy it.  It's kinda cool to control the plane by tilting the Wiimote (which is my preferred method of control).  So, I would say give it a rent just to see if you like it or not.


Oh and by the way.  One song has been stuck in my head for the whole f*cking day.  Seriously, I'm not joking.  It's because the following advert was the last thing I caught on TV before I had to go to college:

So for the whole day.  My head has been going:  'Lemon tea, Lemon tea' repeatedly over and over again.  With some differentiation sometimes (i.e. one time it sounded like a demented monkey screaming in pain).  But it was like torture.  The only thing worse than being locked in a room with this being played continuously is if I was locked in a room with that crazy frog song.

Ah crap.  Now I've got the crazy frog song in my head.

Damn you advertisers.  Damn you...

It's time for 'Junction Swords' the story feature unique to this blog, and this blog only.

All I've got to say for Gavin's turn of events was... it's different.  I was actually thinking of something else.  But I can still do it with the black hole thing now.  So, enjoy:


'So what do we do?'  Gavin asked me.  Well, I do tend to make most of the decisions and the plan-making.  It's a fact, in a group there will always be a decision-maker... and ultimately a retard.  And in TV shows, there will always always always be a black guy (possibly even an Asian guy) in the group.

'The only thing we can do...'  I said with a smirk.  Gavin joined in with the smirk.

'Ok, I'll get the others.'  And he ran off.

Leaving me to gaze into the dark abyss of the portal.

I wonder where it leads...

While I was thinking about this, Gavin had managed to round up Gimely and Lewis.

'We're all set to go.'  Gavin said.  I nodded and began to walk towards the portal.

'WAIT!'  Before I could take two steps, I was stopped in my tracks.  Who was it?  It was the woman (who I have forgotten the name off).  She ran towards us breathlessly.

'What is it?'  Lewis asked curiously.

She regained her composure and said: 'Thanks.'

I replied: 'No problem.'  I jumped through the portal, so that we wouldn't be delayed by other pleasantries.  Gavin followed not long after, then Gimely and finally Lewis.

This portal was different.  It seems we were going to a much further place, as as we were 'in transition' for a helluva long time.  But finally we saw the light at the end of the tunnel.  And leapt through.

What would we find?  The look-a-likes were there.

'You took your sweet-ass time.'  The look-a-like of me said.

'HAHA!  It even talks like you!'  Gimely shouted out loud and began laughing.  Lewis joined in.

'Enough chatter.  Let's get going.'  Gavin's look-a-like expressed (rather monotonously, may I add).

Gavin & I nodded.  And we walked off, leaving Lewis and Gimely momentarily.  Before they caught up with us again.

Where were they taking us?  And where the hell are we?


A lot of questions that are left unanswered.  Hm... I'm thinking a plot-defining moment soon.

Good Evening To All!

It is I, the female correspondent here today with fellow female, Laura!

Yes, we've eaten three bags of jelly beans, washed my hair and watched videos involving awesome comedian Russell Howard!
So yeah, we're not going to sleep tonight, lads! (yes, that was a joke)

I'll allow Laura say a few words now:
Earlier i was sat next to Kate and she was ace.

Aww thank you Laura, you're awfully kind, back in the cage dear.

...And now my face hurts from laughing!

Earlier this evening, my sister and her rowdy friends were playing a drinking game with "Cherry Sourz" shots (whoever had the lowest number on their playing card was the one who drank the shot!)
Laura didn't get involved, she was shy :3
I love Laura.
Like i love Phil Collins.
Which isn't very much.

(i do really - Phil Collins that is.)

So far we've:
- Sat watching 'The Notebook' (that's right, we're female) with a tub of Ben & Jerry's each.
- Enjoyed a fair few lols on Mock The Week & Nevermind The Buzzcocks
- Looked at McFLY things. but that's just stereotypical of us. (by which i mean 'us' to be 'Laura')

^ excuse my poor grammar/spelling, it's time for bed :)

good night all :)

Friday, 12 October 2007

Stupid Dream talk ¬¬

Some people would have better life is they keep their mouth shut. I'm pretty sure you know.
Anyways, I'm pretty sure that certain person ask, rather rudely might I add, not to be mention in this blog and now she is pretty much asking to be wrote about.

Anyways, moving on.

The story...I'm not thinking what WJUK is thinking so, I'm going to have wing it. I'm sorry WJUK if you have an awesome idea, you should of told me. And knowing my luck he will log in after I posted.

Stood outside we exact copies of us, right down to the swords. I had arrived earlier to the scene and I was still in shock.

'WTF!' WJUK said walking towards me.

'I have no idea, they are just standing there looking at us' I replied

The clones moved, drawing the swords, they got closer, as they got closer both started to grin.

They got closer.

'WHO ARE YOU!' WJUK yelled

Both the clones laughed and WJUK clone simply said 'Follow us to find out' and he move his hand across his body and summoned the dark portal and walked in.

WJUK and I hesistated.

Thursday, 11 October 2007

Wintringham Celebration Event Evening - UPDATED

Yea, that's the name of the event.  I reckon my name was totally more kik-ass but meh.

I wasn't really going to post since there wasn't a lot to talk about.  I could have left it until tomorrow.  But one thing couldn't wait.  And because of it Daisy (apparently) has been refreshing this very page repeatedly for the last hour or so.  Yea, you bet your life it's important.

The victim in the whole of this is kind of innocent, so I will leave out his name.

But according to extremely reliable sources (namely Ashley, Laura & co.):


Yes, that is the most revolting thing I have ever heard.  And is wrong in so many ways.  The person mentioned is a close friend of mine, and he's not exactly happy about this 'ethereal experience.'  Ashley went so far as to say that he has become an 'invader of dreams' which is ok of a title.  But I would have preferred this:  'The stealthy assassin of defiled dreams.'  I'm sure you would agree with me there.

Ok, moving on to less vomit-inducing stuff.  Kate forgot to bring the CD, which is disappointing - but in the end, I wasn't that surprised.  But what was more disappointing was that Bentley & Lewis failed to show up.  That really sucks.  Lewis had a valid reason (he moved house) but Bentley.  Seriously, I'm ashamed.  You have disgraced the (already-tarnished) school name.

Although Lewis did have a little rant with me when I got home.  Saying stuff like he didn't know.  He says he 'didn't miss much' but I know he wanted to be there.  In hindsight, I'm kind of at fault here - which is usually.  I could have told him about it.  Hell, I could have told Phil today to tell him.  But it's too late now.

The event started off on a less than cheery note.  It was a speech from Bowman (headteacher).  Argh.  I hate these.  It consists of odd looks by other people, crying kids and phones ringing at inappropriate times.  Then Tony Ford (a retired football-player [to the right]); the guest; decided to have a few words.  You know what it roughly includes: thanks, proud etc.  Then it was the certificate.  Gavin got called up first, like he always does.  Which brings back memories.

But then it was finally refreshment time.  Which sucked.  The food was sh*t.  No, I mean sh*t.  I took one bite out of the fruit-cake and threw it in the bin.  That may not have been the school's fault, since I don't see how that works anyway.  You're not suppose to combine healthy food (fruit) with unhealthy food (cake). It just doesn't work!  The end result is generally less than satisfactory since it defeats the whole purpose of unhealthy food in the first place and they combine to give a crappy sensation in the mouth.  The drinks were also watered down (especially the first-batch of orange juice) and I didn't bother trying any of the hot drinks.

Moving on from food (I never thought I's say type that).  There have been a bunch of changed that happened to the school and it's really strange being there not as a student but as a college student.  See the difference?  There were multi-coloured chairs in the canteen now - which are actually quite comfy.  I managed to dive onto a giant stack of them (sliding about halfway across the room in the process) without it falling over.  They were sturdy too.

Then there was the addition of the drinking fountain in the corridor.  Which looks kinda crappy.  It had two tiles above it.  Just randomly.  I swear the builders just went: 'Hm... the fountain looks a bit lonely.  Let's add some tiles.'  It also looks out of proportion there I reckon, since it's right next to the toilets.  Which, as you know, has taps.  Which also dispense water.  D'oh.

Another thing was that at one point I was stuck talking to Mr Monaghan as the others run off to check out the darkened corridors.  I have great friends.  Not.

I watched them as they frolicked off in a large group, laughing away.  As I stood there watching them go, while listening to Mr Monaghan.  Lemme show you part of the conversation:


Monaghan:  So, how you doing in college?

Me:  Good good.

Monaghan:  ...

Me:  ...

Random passer-by:  *In high-pitched voice* AWWWWKWARD!

Me:  ...

Monaghan:  ...


Yea, you get the idea.

Although I did enjoy seeing some of the teachers again.  But all they really did was ask the same thing:  how you doing?  College?  Good?  Done.  Ba-da-bing ba-da-boom gone.

There may have been other stuff that I missed out but I'm sure Gavin could fill you in on some details.

Oh and right at the end of the night.  My mum came to pick me up and I was over halfway down the street.


Yes, she did.  So a quick good-bye later I find myself sprawling down the street chasing this car like a mad man.  I easily ran 400/500 metres non-stop, full-sprint.  I swear she did that on purpose.

And that little run there has filled up my whole exercise quota for the next year or so.

Well, have a good night and I hope to see you again tomorrow!



Oh and Daisy.  WTF?


*Psst... wingdinds... *hint hint*


UPDATE:  Here are some pictures!  Of the booklet thing they had on the tables.  Yes, I stole it.  So what?


Sorry about the poor image quality and everything.  But I blame it on the paper.  It was crappy paper.  And it was purple!

Anyway.  And also while I was doing this I heard some more details of Daisy's dream, from the woman herself.

Just because I'm too lazy to type, here's the chat transcript:

Daisy says (22:26):
did you actually gettold what he said in my dream?

Daisy says (22:26):

did you actually gettold what he said in my dream?


John says (22:26):

Daisy says (22:26):
in mydream
we was drunk
at a skins secret party
and I said I needed alcohol
and he said no you need cock
and we startedkissing

John says (22:26):
did u just wake up then?

John says (22:27):
cos, by natural progression...

Daisy says (22:29):
thank god
but wewas laid down
on a floor

John says (22:29):
oh dear god

John says (22:30):
i am glad i wasnt in that dream

Daisy says (22:30):

John says (22:30):
thats probably the start

John says (22:31):
next thing u'll kno u'll hav worse dreams
which are probably goin to be spread around more

Daisy says (22:32):
I'm gonna tell youif I have more

John says (22:32):
im sure u will

Daisy says (22:33):
bye xx

John says (22:33):

Oh dear lord.  Why me?

Anyway, as you can see the details are rather unpleasant.  And I swear she was lying when she said:  'THANKGOD I WOKE UP' because:

1) She didn't want to wake up.


2) She didn't wake up.


Hm... conspiracy...  So if number 2 is correct, by the natural laws of progression (and nature) they probably went all the way...  *shudders at the thought*  That's just wrong dude.  Well, if not all the way... at least 3rd base.  What?  It's Daisy we're talking bout here.

She's going to kill me.


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