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Saturday, 3 November 2007

Remember remember the 5th of November...

It's been about 2 days since my last post.

Halloween has just about ended.  My reasoning is that many (working) people have Halloween parties on the Friday, since they've got to -you know- go to work and all on Thursday.

Well anyway.  For the last 2/3 nights there have been a multitude of fireworks going off and kids are starting to shout 'Penny for the guy' next to a limp, lifeless and at many times: horrendous-looking doll.

Yes we are drawing near Guy Fawkes Night/Bonfire Night.

The dreaded night of (most) dogs, and old people... ok maybe not so sure about the old people bit.  For the last few nights all I've been hearing is BOOM!  BAM!  and the occasionally KABLUEI!  But it seems it's stopped... for now.  Oh wait, my bad.  It's started again, albeit with less KABUEI!  it's just POP POP POP now.

I don't really get people who set off fireworks early.  Don'tcha think it would be better to stockpile them until the 5th of November?  You know, like put them all in a row then light a match... then run down lighting ALL OF THEM.  It would be a helluva lot more amusing and would also provide an awes-inspiring and entertaining night-sky spectacle.

To be honest, I never really got Guy Fawkes Night.  Yea, I understand it's celebrating the foiling of the plot to blow up parliament and whatever.  But I'm sure there has been numerous foiling of such plans and schemes such as this (and Scooby Doo and his team probably account for 60% of them); granted none have really been so prolific as that incident.  But why should Guy Fawkes get all the glory (he got a whole holiday named after him), there was Robert Catesby -who masterminded the whole bloody thing.  And yes, for your information, I did find that on a Wiki article.  :P

Ah well, nevermind.  There's fireworks and that's all that matters.


I woke up with a bedhead today and I haven't been bothered to mess around with it.  And besides I thought it was pretty cool so I decided to take a picture of it with my webcam.  And here it is:


By the time I took it though the hair had subsided a lot so you're not really seeing it in all it's glory.  Obviously it doesn't beat the hair I had for the Halloween Party but it's pretty good for something that was accidentally done.


Now you may be asking me:  'Where's the music video?'


*Runs away*

*Gets my ass handed to him by a bunch of crazy-ass urban ninjas and is frogmarched back here*

Damn.  I just can't beat those urban ninjas and there kick-ass mechs.

Anyway, the music video is sadly not with me.  I managed to just finish editing it and due to time constraints I couldn't download (or export the video, as a matter of fact) to a portable media device.  Hopefully on Monday I'll have time to do this.

And I've got to tell you, it's funny and makes no sense at all.  And the only extent at which you'll see me in it is as an extra.  The main character in it is Jamie the monkeys (who "chase" Jamie).  I have no idea where that idea came from.

I think for the sake of redeeming myself for such a grievous error on my part (not being able to obtain the video) I'll give you some background on the other members of my troupe.  Our little posse consists of Me, Kenny, Jamie and Matt.

Kenny:  Ex-XBL achievement whore.  Second year at college (he screwed up his first year because he was an achievement whore then - I have no idea how he isn't one now).  Can drive a car.  Seems to be obsessed with monkeys.  Has an XBox 360.

Jamie:  Addicted to MySpace.  Recent accounts suggest he spends over 4/5 hours on it daily.  I'm unsure whether or not that is true.  Has a relatively high-pitched scream.  Apparently ranked 6th in the whole of N.E. Lincs for RC car racing.  Has an XBox 360.

Matt:  Also a second year.  Also drives a car.  Doesn't particularly like Halo for some reason.  Has a PS3 and is addicted to Resistance: Fall of Man.

Me:  Admin of an awesome blog.  Internationally adored around the world.  Tech Savvy.  Charismatic.  All-round nice guy.  Doesn't get paid enough.

So, that's our team.


Has anyone heard of JDatE?  And no, I'm not talking about this JDate.  A Jewish dating service is about as far away from this as Mintaka is as far away from Earth.  And that's pretty-ass far.

This is one way of describing it found on the website:

And that's saying something.  Here's the book trailer:

Here's the video description, which I think does a good job as a sort of blurb:

It's a drug that promises an out-of-body experience with each hit. On the street they call it Soy Sauce, and users drift across time and dimensions. But some who come back are no longer human. Suddenly a silent otherworldly invasion is underway, and mankind needs a hero.

What it gets instead is John and David, a pair of college dropouts who can barely hold down jobs. Can these two stop the oncoming horror in time to save humanity?

No. No, they can't.

I seriously recommend this to everyone.  You'll be amazed at how awesome it is and will be addicted within reading the first page.

No, seriously.  Just in the prologue I've read about the two:

  • Almost drowning in s*** in a basement
  • Breaking a ventilation shaft
  • Fighting off a meat monster that has an eternal rivalry with this Doctor dude

And that's only the bits I remember!

Now, you may be thinking:  'Pfft.  Book?!  I'm not paying for nothing.'


How?  Well, the original story was actually part of David Wong's website (Pointless Waste Of Time) and he has kept it up there despite having released a paperback (and hardback, I think) version of this awesome book.

You can read it here:  http://www.johndiesattheend.com/

JDatE.  Highly recommended by moire.

Note:  I even asked at Ottakers WaterStones (the book store) cos I'm hooked to this story so much.  They didn't have it in stock.  Unsurprisingly.  They could order one for me that would arrive in 4-6 weeks.  Oh hell no!  By the way, asking about a book called 'John Dies at the End' really did make the dude think it was a joke.


Story time again.


That night I sat there in out surprisingly large room.  Wondering to myself:  'WTF have we gotten ourselves into?'

I laid on the cold bed staring up at the ceiling.  The others were already asleep.  For some obnoxious reason the four of us (from our world) are sleeping in the same room.  It was probably a bad joke by the others.

Lewis was snoring loudly and Gimely was tossing and turning all over the place.

I lowered my hand into my pocket and pulled out the bag I obtained today.  A bag with one of those orbs in.  It was purple and the material it was made like felt like velvet but also silk at the same time.  The bag was tied (very tightly) with a golden piece of string.  Our previous efforts of removing said string lead to nought.

'I wonder which orb I got?  Speed, Power or reflexes?'

I felt the outside of the bag and, indeed, there was a smooth spherical ball inside.  The orb couldn't have been bigger than my own thumb.  To think something this small could do such awesome stuff.

I placed the bag back into my pocket and sat up against the wall.  I stared out of the window, the only source of light currently in out room.  The moons (yes, this world had more than one) shined brightly.  There were countless stars in the sky that glimmered back and forth.  It was as if they were dancing.

I decided that I better get to sleep.  We have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow, and if today was any indication it will be a crazy day.

My last thought before I fell asleep was:  'WTF have we gotten ourselves into...?'


'Not now... five more minutes...'  I murmured as I drew the bedsheets above my head.  Attempting to muffle out the shouting.

'We don't have five more minutes...'  Said the voice as the bedsheets were cruelly withdrawn from me causing me to sit up.

'I SAID FIVE MORE MINUTES!'  I wasn't very happy my sleep was disturbed.  The anonymous person grabbed me by the shoulders and hurled me out of the bed.  I was sent tumbling across the room and into the opposing wall.  The light shined directly into my eyes.  The person started to walk closer from where I slept minutes ago.  The light was blinding me; causing me to only see a silhouette of the person.

I tried to shield my eyes from the light.  And failed.  I finally gave up and left my hand drooping to my side.  The silhouette got closer and closer until it was a mere few yards away.  It leaned forward into the light.

A woman?!

She was young and elegant.  I could tell she was of high-social standing by the way she dressed.  Her hair was a shiny black and her eyes a brilliant brown.

'Who're you?'  I said as I got up to see if I had sustained any injuries in my dramatic waking up.  I didn't.  But the wall didn't fare very well in the collision.  I looked around at the other beds and found that the others had already woken up.

'Before I answer that question how about you put on some clothes.  It's very unnerving.'  The woman said as she tossed me my usual garments.

I caught the clothes easily.  'Good point.'  I said, only just realizing that I was half-naked.  I continued to put on my clothes as the woman decided that she would turn around and give me some privacy.  She was staring out the window.  'So, who are you?'  I asked again while pulling up my trousers.

'I'm Nina.'  The woman said, without turning around and looking at my undressed state.  She paused.

'Your daughter.'



WTF is going on?  I have a daughter?!  Watch the bound-to-be hilarious outcome next time.

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