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Thursday, 1 November 2007

Halloween Party... among other things

Now where should I start?  A bunch of stuff has happened since my last post.  I had planned on posting yesternight (is that even a word?  If not, it should be).  But seeing as I was exhausted (mentally and physically) after the party I dropped dead onto my bed before I could post.

Let's see now.

First, let's start with college on Wednesday.  I ended up going to town with Ashley, Gavin & Laura but for no apparent reason.  It was still fun though.  I can't exactly remember what the hell we did since it was so long ago...

I can only remember standing near the ATM at NatWest (where Gavin was withdrawing money) and Laura saying (in an extremely retarded voice):  'WOOL~WORTHS!'  while pointing towards Woolworths which was across the street.

Ashley managed to reply (in between simultaneous bouts of gut-bursting laughter):  'Yes, we know Laura.'  It was one of those "you had to be there to understand the extreme hilarity of the situation" things.

Well, nevermind anyway.  In the media lesson that followed shortly afterward, we were filming.  Yes, the music video for this song:

I didn't actually do too much during the actual filming process; except showing the cameraman how to work the camera, acting as director, keeping everyone in check and kicking a monkey.

Most of the time I carried around the tripod like I was holding a gun/sword/lightsaber depending on my preference at the time.  By the way, when it was a lightsaber it had appropriate SHOOM!  effects.  I also happened to use it as a baseball bat, and I managed to hit a monkey pretty far.  No, seriously.  I hit monkey about 10m using a tripod.  If that's not an achievement in itself I don't know what is.  Take into account the tripod is actually pretty frickin heavy and I was swinging one-handedly.  I've know crossed one thing off the list of things I want to do before I die.

I'm editing tomorrow (since I'm suppose to be the editor) and if possible I'll try and get the video to show you.  I'll bring a disk (one of Kate's :P) and attempt to burn it onto the disk.  I don't care if they say it's impossible, I'll try anyway.


Then came the actual Halloween party.  Oh was that insane.  In about five minutes of being dropped outside Gavin's house I managed to jump over a wall about as high as me, almost kill myself (twice) by running like a maniac across -possibly- the busiest road in the whole of this godforsaken town.  You could tell it was going to be a good night.

We got to Daisy's and Ashley just happened to get there at the same time (I swear we have a subconscious telepathic thingy-ma-jig, since this kind of stuff seems to happen a lot around us) and because I was wearing all black and Gavin was feeling like a Ninja... we decided to try and 'ninja' ourselves into her house.


Yea... didn't turn out that well.  We abandoned the idea pretty fast.  I managed to get to the back-door, before I triggered the motion-sensor operated light and drew the attention of the guy sat at the computer.  I had no idea who he is, but I ran.  And pretty fast, at that.

Matthew was already there (he practically lives at Daisy's house... I think), dressed up as a PIRATE.  Laura arrived shortly after dressed up as a CAT and Daisy... well, to be honest I had no idea what the hell she was dressed up as.  I'm sure Gavin will answer your question sometime.

In that short hour we managed to accomplish a lot of things, I'll try and list them:

  • Get Daisy drunk (this was the easiest one, it took only a few seconds)
  • Jump on her bed
  • Lift up the bed and scare the s*** out of Laura.  TWICE
  • Insult pretty much everything she had in her room (including the "High School Musical: TOP TRUMPS" cards.  My face:  :0  WTF?!)
  • Kick about one of those balloons... you know, the ones with rice in and make a bunch of noise and is bigger than normal balloons
  • "Awesome up" my hair to epic/biblical proportions
  • Take a picture and spread it
  • Annoy the living hell out of her mum (who was sick)
  • Lock the dog (and Daisy) out of the room
  • Have Belcher type 'NOICE' across messenger
  • Almost break Daisy's petty excuse for a chandelier (for size comparison:  IT WAS ABOUT THE SIZE OF MY HAND)
  • Almost broke her window (because of the SNAP! sounds of the blinds, we thought we did for a few seconds)
  • Play poker and 21
  • Ending up on a bed with Gavin & Ashley (rather tightly packed as well)
  • Have a dog doll try and eat Ashley's balls THEN moving onto Gavin's balls (for the record:  they looked like they enjoyed it)
  • Gavin having to cover his balls (quite a few times actually) when Daisy's face (and mouth) were in very close proximity to his crotch  - at one point she was kneeling down in front of him and Gavin pretty much flew backwards through her door to avoid her; another point included on the bed where Daisy was "reaching over the side of the bed to get something"... yeah right, we all know what happened in a certain someone's dream (sorry Gav)
  • Finding a dildo-shaped object and have Daisy exclaim:  'That's a... er... hair-straighter... no, wait!  A hair-curler... yea, that's what I meant...'  Suspicious?  Not really.  And then Laura also exclaims:  'I have that at my house too!'  Coincidence?  Probably.

That's about all I can think of now.  Soon we headed out to 'the venue' which is sort of a crappy name for a something like this don'tcha think?  This included jumping over the wall AGAIN this time from the lower, hillier side with two girls (one wearing disproportionally large heels that made her head look small).  The situation required quite a lot of heavy lifting.

While we were making our way down there, Gavin decided to stop of at this takeaway to get some chips.  Unfortunately, it just so happened a gigantic group of chavs were on the opposite side of the road.  And because Daisy is, ultimately, Daisy she got started on.  I'm not quite sure why (I think it included remarks of "Barbie Girl" or something) but it ended up having the others to go first while Gavin & I stayed behind.  By the way, the chips were actually quite nice.  BUT WE HAD TO WAIT FOR ABOUT 10/15 MINUTES FOR THEM.  That was a drag.

We reached the venue and there was a GARGANTUAN line.  It literally stretched the whole length of the staircase and corridor, some people were also stood outside.  What made matters worse was that Daisy, Laura and Matthew were dying for a piss.  And from all their nagging:  Gavin, Ashley and I also started needing one.  Ah crap.  I hate when that happens.  It's like when yawns get passed around like infectious diseases (aka HIV/AIDS).

So, we retraced our steps back to McDonalds in search of a toilet.  But, for some inexplicable reason, THIER TOILETS WERE CLOSED.  WTF?!  That's just wrong.  We ended up having to QUEUE in a line waiting outside the disabled toilets on the ground floor.  What the hell is up with that?!

Although a funny story came about it:  Laura was first in and managed to get herself LOCKED INSIDE.  Their were screams and everything.  Some dudes also came along (one dressed up as.. er... what's his name.  The dude that has the chainsaw and hockey mask), anyway since there was a queue and everything for the toilet one of the dudes decided he'd piss in the bin...  he talked the talk but didn't walk the walk.  And decided queuing was maybe a better idea.

When we got back after this brief interlude, the line had magically disappeared.  Hooray!

So we swiftly navigated the stairs and into the party.  Oh yeah.  Now, from pretty much this point forward my mind is a blur.  I can't remember this part properly for some non-apparent reason.

I can remember seeing a bunch of people I haven't seen in ages (and adequately dispensing hugs as frequently as a vending machine dispenses food).  There was Kirt, Joe, Shaun, Smithy etc.  There was a bunch of people and for a time we thought this dude dressed up as a Ninja was Hutcho (??? Have I spelt that right?); turns out it wasn't.  I also recall a girl-on-girl lapdance.  Your mind doesn't forget one of those.  My last, proper rare collection of that night included watching people (and ultimately Gavin & Ashley) play pool then bitching about how bad they were.  Not that we could do any better, but hey, that's what spectators are for.  Lifting you when you win, kicking you when you lose.  See?  I dispense pearls of wisdom, who said this blog wasn't educational?

When I left the venue I was walking home with Gavin and his family.  Yeah... I don't remember much of that either - don't moan at me, that was like... yesterday.  That's a long time ago (about 20 hours, in fact).

I ended up sitting on this yellow stump/pole thing and staring up at the (unperceivable) stars and sky.  To be honest, I couldn't even see the moon.  I sat there wondering: 'WTF did I do for the whole night...?'  Ah, I couldn't think of anything so I gave up and hummed a random tune until my mum came to pick me up.

I got home and took a shower, seeing as my outrageous hair at the time prevented me of actually sleeping properly.  Don't believe me that it was outrageous?!  That's an outrage!  I'll show you:


By the way, that weird "strained" face I have on is NOT and I repeat NOT what you think it is.  I was merely trying to turn around (while keeping a good shot for Gavin) to look at the mirror.  Turns out it was harder than I thought.

Oh and sorry for the quality, but it was taken from Gavin's mobile.  So, if you have to moan etc. Moan to him.

Unfortunately, my awesome hair is no longer with us.  So, I cannot get any higher quality, higher res photos...  sorry.


A suitable picture for something so awesome.


Next we move onto today... yea, not much happened today.  Leeman (finally) gets to see my wallet - after asking about it for two days straight only to have me bring it in on the third day and I don't see him!  Pfft, the nerve.  And he's actually rather surprised that my wallet is, in fact, 100% of Duct-tape construction.

I've still got a banging headache from all the loud music and I can't hear properly in my right ear.  I'm still having that ZZZzzzxxxXXX sound in my ear, which sucks.  One of the downers of going to clubs with loud music, you end up having to (practically) nibble the guy's (or girl's) ear so they can hear you.  But going momentarily death when you leave is also awesome.  Ashley and I also happened to go momentarily blind after staring into some funny-looking red & green laser/strobe lights.  Yeouch.


Well, that about wraps up this post.  I've got to edit the music video tomorrow and if possible, I'll bring a copy of it home tomorrow.  Although I don't feature in the video much myself, you can obviously see my work (e.g. throwing and kicking monkeys at people).

So, until next time.  See ya.


P.S.  Oh and if you've noticed I've rearranged some of the things on the blog.  I've ditched that time-based HTML thing since I've got bored with it and bumped the Random Quote Generator up in it's place.  And it's actually looking pretty good.  And because the bottom of the page was a bit lonely, I've added a 'Random Surrealism Generator'... no idea what the hell it's on about most of the time but... hey, who cares right?


EDIT:  This was so awesome I just had to post it: 

7 Movie Deaths That Would Be Awesome to Have on Your Tombstone

Just take a look at this picture and you will understand:

Hell yea!

Daisy says (22:38):
ashley being my boyfriend

I did not edit that in any shape, way or form.  She actually forced asked me to add it in.  I didn't even know it happened until about an hour ago, since it happened after I left.  But apparently, the guys that were playing pool before started taking pictures of Daisy (I have no idea what for... probably pedophiles or something; just wait a while and the pictures will surface onto the Internet).  So Ashley, being the man he is, stands up and proclaims to be Daisy's boyfriend.

Now, I'm glad all of this is for show.  Since:

  1. Daisy and Ashley are cousins... or something
  2. I'm sure it's illegal
  3. It's just plain wrong

And doing this, scared off the pedos and all was well.  And they galloped towards the horizon while the sun set... ok, maybe I made that last bit up.

Secondly, she wanted it made known about her bank card.  That Gavin & I stole for the large majority of time that we spent at her house.  Which I cleverly hid (under some towels right outside her bedroom door... sneaky).  She also (stupidly) told us her pin number (which was something something 00, that's all I remember).  Unfortunately, despite her dad being a gigolo (cited source:  Gavin & Ashley) she only has £1.30 or something in that bank account.  Which sucks.  So no identity fraud that night.


You know, maybe I should stop mentioning her sometime.  Since she stated, rather profoundly:  'I like being mentioned' I might just do it sometime when I can be asked to; just to piss her off.

Latest news:  Daisy was actually dressing up as a DOLL.  WTF?  I did not see doll when I looked at her costume...

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