Random Quote Generator - Cos every site needs one

Monday, 10 December 2007

Last College Monday of the Year (YAY!)

As you may, or may not, know (I use that line way too much... but hey, it works so... whatever) I had an two maths exams last week - I can't remember the exact date but it was last week.

Well, the results are in folks!  And I've got to say I'm rather pleased with the results despite the revision (or lack thereof) I did.  The teacher actually asked me if I did any revision, this is how it went down:

Teacher:  Did you do any revision?

Me:  Well... er... you see.  Long story.  There was this dog, right.  And the dog had giant claws and everything and I happened to have "accidentally" kicked it up the ass as I was messing round with some friends and then-

Teacher:  So, basically.  You didn't do any?

Me:  Er... well... er... yea.

Teacher:  That's all you needed to say.

Me:  *under-my-breath*   Kinda...

Typical, isn't it?  The very same people who teach us come outfitted with BS detectors.  Great.  Just what we need.  Hey, wait a moment... maybe they don't have BS detectors... maybe it's a skill.  Yea, that sounds better.

Sensei (teacher):  Finally, my child.  You have graduated from Uber-Teacher-Training-Awesome-Kick-Flipping-Ass-Kicking-Going-To-Eat-Your-Soul Academy.  Or UBTTAKFAKGTEYSA for short.  You are now a fully licensed teacher, trained in the arts of beating children and generally being the king (or queen) of the classroom.

Random Teacher Guy:  Thank you master.  I shall treasure this moment for the rest of my child-screaming filled life.

Sensei:  Before you go, I must teach you the final skill to obtain the ultimate "Teacher Nirvana."

RTG:  Surely, you don't mean...

Sensei:  Yes, it is the BS detector.  A necessary skill for all teachers.

RTG:  I am honoured.

Sensei:  Now we begin...

Obviously, I cannot reveal the secret to learning true BS detector mastery (psst, it includes a whole load of ninja turtles that squirt water...).  It is a valuable skill among the teaching world and only a selected few have the right to fully teach this to others... or something.

Reality check.  Check.

Anyway, the exam scores.  Before I start dawdling on about something else... hey, you know that Xmas is around the corner-

Ah damn, I'm doing it again.  Anyway, exam scores is as follows:

S1:  79% (I think, can't exactly remember, was in that region)

C2: 81%

Nice, right.  80% is roughly an A, so I'm pretty close.  It's a lot better than I expected since I didn't revise and failed to concentrate.  Even when I did (attempt to) revise I revised for the wrong subject anyway.  Here's a little formula to show you what I mean:

Me + Revision ≠ High test scores

Trust me, it's correct.  Just like how this one works out:

Gavin + Me + Ashley + Woodburner + a whole load of alcohol = Insanity

Btw, I should note now that ≠ means 'not equal to.'  But I'm sure you knew that, right?


In other maths-related news:  Steve has also transferred from our maths class and now only does "normal AS maths" he still comes to the S1 lessons but not C2.  Traitor.  I should have his head for that!

That's the 2nd person that's dropped out already and it hasn't even reached Xmas yet?!  Just goes to show how tough it actually is.  Insanely tough.

I could pull any question out of the exams we took and unless your a mathematician, a student taking mathematician at Uni level or just goddamn talented with number/maths/algebra; then you could wrack your mind for countless hours and you probably wouldn't even be close!

Don't believe me?

I hear a challenge.  Well, I actually hear some random dance music right now but meh... it's close enough.  Here's a question for you, it's the first question (and usually the easiest) from the S1 test for this year, check it out:


If you can somehow, through a twist of fate in biblical proportions resulting in a paradox of unfathomable proportions sucking out life into utter meaninglessness, get it right (and are not one of those people stated above) then you are either:

  1. Very lucky
  2. Lying
  3. Cheating
  4. An ass

And that's the FIRST QUESTION.  Check out the PAIN that is the last question:


Ouch.  Nuff said (or read).

Now, you know a teeny weeny bit of my pain (and utter disdain and contempt for exams of such types).


Funny story.  I know you always like them.

This morning, during media, Jamie pointed out something very interesting to me.

I'm a word-glorifier.

If that makes any sense whatsoever.  Since you simple-minded nincompoops probably won't understand it if I explain using words, here's a picture that explains it... using words...


If you still don't get it I'll put it as simply as I can:  I MAKE STUFF SOUND BETTER THAN IT DOES.

The example in the above picture doesn't give it justice, I regularly churn out better words in media from what Jamie tells me.  Here are a few more examples:

The text gives meaning to the picture.  >AFTER MY INTERVENTION>  The ensuing text anchors meaning to the image.

It's a video game advert.  >AFTER MY INTERVENTION>  The text we are analysing is based on a video game and was made to promote and subsequently sell the product it is advertising.


You get the idea.  But it was funny that I didn't notice until Jamie pointed it out to me.  I believe his exact words were:  'Why are the words I'm saying crappy, yet you type down some awesome stuff?'  I think it's a gift - even if I would have preferred pretty much any other gift (musical talent, being able to do large sums in my head in a split second, flight, teleportation ¬ you know, the usual kind).


Tis' bout it for this post.  And I have one lesson tomorrow since General Studies is cancelled: YAY!  and Xmas is coming up: YAY!

(Early) Merry Xmas everyone.

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