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Saturday, 22 December 2007

Quick round-up ¬ UPDATE

As you know, a few guys (and gals) headed round to Daisy's house today - mainly because Gavin wanted to play GH3. But anyway; Gavin, Ashley and I decided to hit town before hand which wasn't a very pleasant experience.

You see, there's this craze thing going around that's sending people mad around town just buying stuff... it's called: Christmas. And this "Christmas" thing not only meant that for us we could only travel in one direction and our personal space was constantly invaded (zing!). Despite that though, Christmas is awesome.

Some funny things happened. But it was basically just a last meet-up before Christmas and was really to pass the time; I probably would have done ok to sleep a bit later but whatever. We walked around for a bit and went into Somerfield which provided a very hilarious scene where I was just about to pay and the fire alarm goes off. Everyone seemed to instinctively know to head towards the exit, and the managerial staff were also shouting: 'Get out!' at the top of the lungs, the three of us however were just stood there like: 'WTF?'

Gavin, finally deciphering what the large BLOOR BLOOR sound was, shouts - and I swear to god, I'm not making this up: 'EVERYONE! GET DOWN!'

LMFAO! When the alarm went off, Gavin's mind clicked and automatically thought it was a robbery and seeing as we are teenagers that watch way too many movies he shouted that phrase. Which, I can't really blame him for because I was practically thinking the same thing... but cooler. It ended up with this dude shooing us outside and I had to drop the produce I picked up. Damn, I thought I could have just walked out with it. Some thing's are just meant to be, he was staring at me with the: "I hope your not going to attempt to steal those products. Cos if you do... I'm going to have to beat-down yo ass!"

So, not wanting my ass handed to me by someone working to Somerfield I decided that dropping the crisps and whatnot in my hands was probably a good idea. After we got outside, we were unsure on how long this "emergency" would last, so we left. We just went to Iceland and I bought two gigantic (unfrozen) bags of Hula Hoops and Mini Cheddars (which, now that I think about it... are still at Daisy's house). After that we still had plenty of time to kill and we ended up in CueWorld (for anyone that doesn't know it's a place to play pool/snooker/throw snooker balls at people's heads etc.).

During our time at CueWorld I got to see the extremely crap side of Gavin and Ashley's ball handling skills. Which is virtually non-existent. I saw them play last time at the media party, but I thought they were slightly pissed which messed up there game. But here, they were totally sober and still manage to f*ck up missing some blatantly obvious, ball-to-hole shots. More specifically, Gavin. They did seem to improve in the last game where Gavin managed to pull off a 3-ball streak and snooker Ashley (in a game of pool). But Ashley, totally unfazed, bounces the white ball off the side cushion and into the red ball. The red ball travels... and travels... almost in slow-motion towards the pocket... Gavin was shouting: 'NNNNOOOOOO!!!' at this point and Ashley just looks ever-so-slightly smug. It lands in the pocket and Ashley promptly announces: 'No luck. All skill.' Or something like that.

I've got to hand it to him, as it was a good shot.

What was I doing during this? Watching them mainly, and eating that gargantuan pack of Hula Hoops and generally making fun of any advert that came up on the TV screen. Fun.


Since we were all out of change - and as far as we knew the pool tables didn't accept notes - we headed towards Daisy's house. It was earlier than the proposed time... but we didn't care since we had nothing better to do. We got there, was greeted by an ever-so-slightly-but-not-really-surprised Daisy and were left to our own devices in the kitchen. We couldn't go up yet because she hasn't finished "tidying her room" which is a lame excuse. So, seeing as we were in a kitchen... we became Vikings and raided it for all it's worth. Gavin discovered the awesomeness of the 4-bread-toasting toaster that would fit right in a Star Trek episode. Ashley found that the cupboard doors weren't magnetized and was mesmerised by the fact that when he closed this cupboard door the one next to it would open; and when he tried to close that it wouldn't stay closed! It wasn't until a few agonizingly long minutes of BLAK! after BLAK! (yes, I know I suck at onomatopoeia put what are you going to do?) that Daisy gritted her teeth floored Ashley and practically attacked the cupboard door and threatened it's family to an eternity in hell if it didn't stay closed. Smooth.

Eventually we were let upstairs to actually use the Wii and connect up the Wiitars (to find that the room was as messy as before, if not messier). After quite some time of moaning about the obnoxiously tiny TV compared to the TV downstairs we gave up and decided to shred some frets! ... Or something else that sounds cool and is related to guitars and music. Laura and Matthew joined us not long afterwards and everyone got some GH3 love, but not everyone was good at it...

Obviously, everyone who had never played it before pretty much sucked at it and Ashley and I had to be the lighthouse to their lost ship, the Jesus to the people, the jockey to the horse, the Bender to everyone else in Futurama... you get the idea. We had thought about just showing how to play and throwing them into medium to see if they could adjust to pressing four buttons, but it didn't work. The learning curve was simply too steep, so we dialled it down a notch and allowed them to play on easy. Most people eventually got the hang of it and were playing rather good. Laura seemed to have a special knack for it and was able to play some good tunes. Gavin, ever the adventurous type would opt to play medium guitar/lead and would actually make through some songs. Daisy and Matthew were a completely different story however, Daisy seemed extremely slow on the uptake. Let's just keep it as at one point when she was facing-off against Gavin she decided to play the Wiitar like a demented offspring of an accordion and piano. Eventually, we got her to knuckle down and after some more tutoring she managed to beat Gavin on one of the songs. I believe it was 'When I was Young' by the Killers; which Gavin was adamant on thinking it was "Mr Brightside." Common mistake. Not.

Note: This post may view Gavin in a bad light, but he's not as bad as he seems. It's just that he's... er... having a bad day. :)

The next few hours were churning throw songs, locking the dog outside, suffocating from the extreme heat in the room etc. The usual.

It wasn't until the last 45 minutes or so that things started heating up. Laura had just left and we thought: 'Why don't we go a bit insane?' And insane we did go. We looked up the cheat to unlock everything on GH3 which is f*ck-ass long it's like 4-button chords 13 times! After spending about five minutes entering that cheat in we picked the legendary song in GH3... yes... we did...


Note: We hadn't unlocked TTFAF yet because we went through Co-Op career only and not single-player career. Which meant we couldn't have unlocked it.

It was insane. Coupled with the fact that I decided to go through on medium, and Ashley easy (the pussy) he ripped me to shreds. I just missed so many notes, especially on the ridiculously long solos... but nothing could compare to what happened next. I thought: 'To hell with it! We're here to have fun! I'M DOING THIS SONG ON HARD.' Bad idea. I managed to coax Ashley into doing medium and he sucked at that. I, however, sucked even more on hard difficulty! There wasn't too much in it, but Ashley won.

This was the point where all the heat got to my head and the situation got out of hand.

I decided to play it on EXPERT for the hell of it.

EVEN WORSE IDEA. But hey, it was funny. In the next 7/8 minutes my hands were just a blur. As fast as lightning and everyone else had to give me kudos and admire my remarkably large balls to attempt such a stunt. I'm sure I posted a video up of someone doing expert on this song, but it's nothing like playing in real life. That song is insane.

Let's just keep it at: If I had to choose on which I would actually succeed in, in the least amount of tries:

  1. Actually managing over 90% on 'Through the Fires and Flames' on Expert
  2. Saving the world from a gigantic comet by physically strapping myself to a nuclear warhead which I have to manually control despite the lack of breathable oxygen at the speeds I would be travelling at and managing to manoeuvre the nuke at a certain angle so it would explode the comet into the tiniest pieces scientifically possible while doing this all in record time before it hits this supposed "wall" thing where it's fragments will still hit the earth (just like in the movie) and managing to return alive through the use of a super-hero cape...

I think I would choose number 2. That's how hard it is.*


The experience earlier today showed me that I actually had a chance of playing hard difficulty. So I sucked it up, grew a beard, flexed my outrageously large muscles and played career mode on hard.

That was the best idea I've ever had (which is an understatement).

I had played Slow Ride before on Hard just to prove to my sister I could get through it but never really attempted the career mode. After cocking up a few times I finally got the hand of using that last annoying Orange button by moving my whole hand (or at times: just my pinky) up and down like a teenager jerking off to a rock song... maybe that was too graphic. Anywayz, I have actually managed to get through career mode on hard with relatively few hiccups. I've beaten Tommy Morello in the first guitar battle, rather easily may I add. And now onto some of the much harder songs and I've just got to say that they're in a totally different league. This is the first time I've actually had to utilize "practice mode" simply because I sucked so much at some of the sequences.

No worries though. I'll continue to make my way through it until:

A) I finish it.

B) I die from the excruciating pain that is cramp.

C) My fingers drop off.

D) I find something better to do.

Since it's almost Christmas (Inner child: YAY!) I may cut back on the posting schedule. See it as a present to myself. So, this might possibly be the last post this year. Hey, give a guy a break. I've pretty much been posting non-stop since this blog first started, I think I deserve a little something from that. Don't you?

Anyway, it all depends on my mood and the type of content I have and also the time I actually have to spare. Since, as you know, Xmas is not exactly a laid-back time of year...


If you can't wait that long and need something to do. Try the: Best of "Best of" list of 2007.

Until next year then (probably), goodbye.

*Maybe be slightly exageratted.

UPDATE#1 (23/12/07): Just fixed some mistakes I made in the article and to tell you of the bet that's been going on between Ashley and Daisy (which I forgot about it until Daisy IMed me telling of her imminent victory).
I'll keep it short and simple: Ashley betted Daisy that she and Ben would break up before they could hit 4 weeks (or something like that) and the deadline is tomorrow. Seeing as the chance of this happening is rapidly approaching no-f*cking-way it looks like Ashley is going to have to dye his hair blonde. Yes, you heard that right: BLONDE.
What was the penalty if Daisy lost? She had to dye her hair some absurd colour like purple.
'But never give up hope!' I recall saying to Ashley.** As there is also reprieval day where if she breaks up that day, it practically voids the bet. So, all is not lost.

That concludes the extremely short update (of sorts).

WJUK out.

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