9 year old kid aces 'Through the Fires and Flames' ON EXPERT

It speaks for itself.

:O

...  For the first time in my whole life, I am truly speechless...    :O x Infinity.

I found the link on Digg and my immediate thought was:  'This has got to be a elaborate hoax...'  And I'll walk you through my thoughts during the video:

'Ok... yea, he's holding the guitar...  ok, that's not bad... HOLY *beep* on a *beep* *beep* on a sandwich with *beep* on top... *the sound of my mind melting*'

I just got a line from Gavin who pretty much sums up this whole video:

"Gav™ says (21:28):
            that kid has the fingers of god :P"

Seriously, watch as your jaw drops to the floor and you start weeping at your own insignificant incompetence at GH3 compared to this kid.  Beating TTFAF on expert is a feat in itself but being a 9 year-old kid at the same time?!  That's insane!  No, wait.  That's more than insane!  It's <add more insane word than "insane" here>.  The guitar is almost as big as he is! 

It's like the gods themselves have came down from the heavens and bestowed those fingers to him (glorified Gavin's words).

 

That's all I wanted to share.

 

EDIT#1:  Changed video embedded from Break to YT.  May be easier for people.

 

Oh and after having a little browse around this kid has been around for ages.  There are some videos of him at 8 doing crazy stuff like this!

Watch here.

Quick round-up ¬ UPDATE

As you know, a few guys (and gals) headed round to Daisy's house today - mainly because Gavin wanted to play GH3. But anyway; Gavin, Ashley and I decided to hit town before hand which wasn't a very pleasant experience.

You see, there's this craze thing going around that's sending people mad around town just buying stuff... it's called: Christmas. And this "Christmas" thing not only meant that for us we could only travel in one direction and our personal space was constantly invaded (zing!). Despite that though, Christmas is awesome.

Some funny things happened. But it was basically just a last meet-up before Christmas and was really to pass the time; I probably would have done ok to sleep a bit later but whatever. We walked around for a bit and went into Somerfield which provided a very hilarious scene where I was just about to pay and the fire alarm goes off. Everyone seemed to instinctively know to head towards the exit, and the managerial staff were also shouting: 'Get out!' at the top of the lungs, the three of us however were just stood there like: 'WTF?'

Gavin, finally deciphering what the large BLOOR BLOOR sound was, shouts - and I swear to god, I'm not making this up: 'EVERYONE! GET DOWN!'

LMFAO! When the alarm went off, Gavin's mind clicked and automatically thought it was a robbery and seeing as we are teenagers that watch way too many movies he shouted that phrase. Which, I can't really blame him for because I was practically thinking the same thing... but cooler. It ended up with this dude shooing us outside and I had to drop the produce I picked up. Damn, I thought I could have just walked out with it. Some thing's are just meant to be, he was staring at me with the: "I hope your not going to attempt to steal those products. Cos if you do... I'm going to have to beat-down yo ass!"

So, not wanting my ass handed to me by someone working to Somerfield I decided that dropping the crisps and whatnot in my hands was probably a good idea. After we got outside, we were unsure on how long this "emergency" would last, so we left. We just went to Iceland and I bought two gigantic (unfrozen) bags of Hula Hoops and Mini Cheddars (which, now that I think about it... are still at Daisy's house). After that we still had plenty of time to kill and we ended up in CueWorld (for anyone that doesn't know it's a place to play pool/snooker/throw snooker balls at people's heads etc.).

During our time at CueWorld I got to see the extremely crap side of Gavin and Ashley's ball handling skills. Which is virtually non-existent. I saw them play last time at the media party, but I thought they were slightly pissed which messed up there game. But here, they were totally sober and still manage to f*ck up missing some blatantly obvious, ball-to-hole shots. More specifically, Gavin. They did seem to improve in the last game where Gavin managed to pull off a 3-ball streak and snooker Ashley (in a game of pool). But Ashley, totally unfazed, bounces the white ball off the side cushion and into the red ball. The red ball travels... and travels... almost in slow-motion towards the pocket... Gavin was shouting: 'NNNNOOOOOO!!!' at this point and Ashley just looks ever-so-slightly smug. It lands in the pocket and Ashley promptly announces: 'No luck. All skill.' Or something like that.

I've got to hand it to him, as it was a good shot.

What was I doing during this? Watching them mainly, and eating that gargantuan pack of Hula Hoops and generally making fun of any advert that came up on the TV screen. Fun.

===

Since we were all out of change - and as far as we knew the pool tables didn't accept notes - we headed towards Daisy's house. It was earlier than the proposed time... but we didn't care since we had nothing better to do. We got there, was greeted by an ever-so-slightly-but-not-really-surprised Daisy and were left to our own devices in the kitchen. We couldn't go up yet because she hasn't finished "tidying her room" which is a lame excuse. So, seeing as we were in a kitchen... we became Vikings and raided it for all it's worth. Gavin discovered the awesomeness of the 4-bread-toasting toaster that would fit right in a Star Trek episode. Ashley found that the cupboard doors weren't magnetized and was mesmerised by the fact that when he closed this cupboard door the one next to it would open; and when he tried to close that it wouldn't stay closed! It wasn't until a few agonizingly long minutes of BLAK! after BLAK! (yes, I know I suck at onomatopoeia put what are you going to do?) that Daisy gritted her teeth floored Ashley and practically attacked the cupboard door and threatened it's family to an eternity in hell if it didn't stay closed. Smooth.

Eventually we were let upstairs to actually use the Wii and connect up the Wiitars (to find that the room was as messy as before, if not messier). After quite some time of moaning about the obnoxiously tiny TV compared to the TV downstairs we gave up and decided to shred some frets! ... Or something else that sounds cool and is related to guitars and music. Laura and Matthew joined us not long afterwards and everyone got some GH3 love, but not everyone was good at it...

Obviously, everyone who had never played it before pretty much sucked at it and Ashley and I had to be the lighthouse to their lost ship, the Jesus to the people, the jockey to the horse, the Bender to everyone else in Futurama... you get the idea. We had thought about just showing how to play and throwing them into medium to see if they could adjust to pressing four buttons, but it didn't work. The learning curve was simply too steep, so we dialled it down a notch and allowed them to play on easy. Most people eventually got the hang of it and were playing rather good. Laura seemed to have a special knack for it and was able to play some good tunes. Gavin, ever the adventurous type would opt to play medium guitar/lead and would actually make through some songs. Daisy and Matthew were a completely different story however, Daisy seemed extremely slow on the uptake. Let's just keep it as at one point when she was facing-off against Gavin she decided to play the Wiitar like a demented offspring of an accordion and piano. Eventually, we got her to knuckle down and after some more tutoring she managed to beat Gavin on one of the songs. I believe it was 'When I was Young' by the Killers; which Gavin was adamant on thinking it was "Mr Brightside." Common mistake. Not.

Note: This post may view Gavin in a bad light, but he's not as bad as he seems. It's just that he's... er... having a bad day. :)

The next few hours were churning throw songs, locking the dog outside, suffocating from the extreme heat in the room etc. The usual.

It wasn't until the last 45 minutes or so that things started heating up. Laura had just left and we thought: 'Why don't we go a bit insane?' And insane we did go. We looked up the cheat to unlock everything on GH3 which is f*ck-ass long it's like 4-button chords 13 times! After spending about five minutes entering that cheat in we picked the legendary song in GH3... yes... we did...

'THROUGH THE FIRES AND FLAMES' - DRAGONFORCE

Note: We hadn't unlocked TTFAF yet because we went through Co-Op career only and not single-player career. Which meant we couldn't have unlocked it.

It was insane. Coupled with the fact that I decided to go through on medium, and Ashley easy (the pussy) he ripped me to shreds. I just missed so many notes, especially on the ridiculously long solos... but nothing could compare to what happened next. I thought: 'To hell with it! We're here to have fun! I'M DOING THIS SONG ON HARD.' Bad idea. I managed to coax Ashley into doing medium and he sucked at that. I, however, sucked even more on hard difficulty! There wasn't too much in it, but Ashley won.

This was the point where all the heat got to my head and the situation got out of hand.

I decided to play it on EXPERT for the hell of it.

EVEN WORSE IDEA. But hey, it was funny. In the next 7/8 minutes my hands were just a blur. As fast as lightning and everyone else had to give me kudos and admire my remarkably large balls to attempt such a stunt. I'm sure I posted a video up of someone doing expert on this song, but it's nothing like playing in real life. That song is insane.

Let's just keep it at: If I had to choose on which I would actually succeed in, in the least amount of tries:

1. Actually managing over 90% on 'Through the Fires and Flames' on Expert
2. Saving the world from a gigantic comet by physically strapping myself to a nuclear warhead which I have to manually control despite the lack of breathable oxygen at the speeds I would be travelling at and managing to manoeuvre the nuke at a certain angle so it would explode the comet into the tiniest pieces scientifically possible while doing this all in record time before it hits this supposed "wall" thing where it's fragments will still hit the earth (just like in the movie) and managing to return alive through the use of a super-hero cape...

I think I would choose number 2. That's how hard it is.*

===

The experience earlier today showed me that I actually had a chance of playing hard difficulty. So I sucked it up, grew a beard, flexed my outrageously large muscles and played career mode on hard.

That was the best idea I've ever had (which is an understatement).

I had played Slow Ride before on Hard just to prove to my sister I could get through it but never really attempted the career mode. After cocking up a few times I finally got the hand of using that last annoying Orange button by moving my whole hand (or at times: just my pinky) up and down like a teenager jerking off to a rock song... maybe that was too graphic. Anywayz, I have actually managed to get through career mode on hard with relatively few hiccups. I've beaten Tommy Morello in the first guitar battle, rather easily may I add. And now onto some of the much harder songs and I've just got to say that they're in a totally different league. This is the first time I've actually had to utilize "practice mode" simply because I sucked so much at some of the sequences.

No worries though. I'll continue to make my way through it until:

A) I finish it.

B) I die from the excruciating pain that is cramp.

C) My fingers drop off.

D) I find something better to do.

Since it's almost Christmas (Inner child: YAY!) I may cut back on the posting schedule. See it as a present to myself. So, this might possibly be the last post this year. Hey, give a guy a break. I've pretty much been posting non-stop since this blog first started, I think I deserve a little something from that. Don't you?

Anyway, it all depends on my mood and the type of content I have and also the time I actually have to spare. Since, as you know, Xmas is not exactly a laid-back time of year...

So, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! Enjoy!

If you can't wait that long and need something to do. Try the: Best of "Best of" list of 2007.

Until next year then (probably), goodbye.

*Maybe be slightly exageratted.


UPDATE#1 (23/12/07): Just fixed some mistakes I made in the article and to tell you of the bet that's been going on between Ashley and Daisy (which I forgot about it until Daisy IMed me telling of her imminent victory).
I'll keep it short and simple: Ashley betted Daisy that she and Ben would break up before they could hit 4 weeks (or something like that) and the deadline is tomorrow. Seeing as the chance of this happening is rapidly approaching no-f*cking-way it looks like Ashley is going to have to dye his hair blonde. Yes, you heard that right: BLONDE.
What was the penalty if Daisy lost? She had to dye her hair some absurd colour like purple.
'But never give up hope!' I recall saying to Ashley.** As there is also reprieval day where if she breaks up that day, it practically voids the bet. So, all is not lost.

That concludes the extremely short update (of sorts).

WJUK out.

I AM LEGEND! Rawr...

Another crazy title.

By the way, I'm writing the the majority of this post using Windows Vista's voice recognition.  Just for the hell of it.  It's actually pretty hard; since voice recognition seems to be pretty messed up, just trying to do the previous few sentences were a real pain in the ass.  Now on to the meat of this article.

I saw "I am legend" the other day.  I didn't go in with high expectations but I actually quite enjoyed it, I am not going to write a full review up about this film but I just like to point out few points:

• Will Smith does a good job of acting in the movie.  And his trademark humour blends in perfectly at times which adds to the overall feel of the film.
• The film gives a real sense of Will Smith being the last person on earth and seeing the whole devastated NYC thing really puts things into perspective.
• Will Smith talking to a mannequin looks more natural than it should do.
• If you've seen the trailers then you may have seen Will Smith doing some bad-ass Mr. T training but in the movie it's almost at the most opposite side of the spectrum.  He's a doctor.
• The movie title doesn't really make sense until the end, and even then it's slightly cheesy.  They should have went with the book's ending, with a beheading!

Note:  I have officially abandoned Voice Recognition at this point since it actually made things harder than it need be.  I still agree that Voice Recognition is the future, but right now it's not really anything but a pain in the proverbial ass.

 

Oh and by the way, the dog dies.  It gets strangled by Will Smith.  Damn... poor dog...

 

===

While Gavin and I were talking about said movie he linked me to an interesting trailer.  Another Will Smith film!  This dude just never stops working!

And I've got to say, the trailer you're about to see owns the whole 'I am Legend' movie in turns of comedy anyway...

One word: Awesome.

The last few moments of the trailer is amazing.  With the whale and the flinging and the boat and the hitting and the awesomeness and KABOOM!  Mind explosion.

 

'I don't even remember that.'

'Greenpeace does.'

 

Pure scripting genius.  If the whole movie is like that then it will be amazing.

High hopes for this one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

===

The other day I also picked up Civilization IV the game.  Before you go: WTF?  What happened to the list?!

Well, I thought it through and it made a lot more sense to pick up Civ IV.  Why?  Well, it's simple.  My list mainly consisted of FPS and fast-twitch, fast-reaction games.  But now that I think about it most of the time on my laptop I won't have a mouse, and playing on the touchpad is nearly impossible!  Seriously, FPS + touchpad = 0 kills for you.

So, Civilization IV was a good choice.  Slow-paced and actually suitable for a laptop.  For the record, I tried to play Civilization IV using the voice recognition thing... my advice:  Don't do it.

 

At the same time I also picked up Lego Stars: The Complete Saga for the Wii.  I've played the second game before but never really played the first, so I thought whatever and went ahead to pick it up.  And it's more of the same wacky insane humour of the lego series with more stuff added in.  There are even trailers in it, Lego Indiana Jones looks good.

As I'm typing, my sister is playing and it's hard to concentrate on both at the same time so don't blame me if none of this makes any sense.

===

I should really be doing my homework (which consists of several exams!) but I really can't be asked.  I've fallen into my holiday schedule against my own will, it sucks cos now it's going to be doubly hard to get up early in the morning.  My current waking up and sleeping times are this:

Wake up:  2/3PM

Sleep at:  4/5AM

I know I really shouldn't but I just can't help it, it happens every holiday...  and I have to wake up at like 10 tomorrow as well to meet Gavin and Ashley to go to town.  Then afterwards we're stopping off at Daisy's house for some GH3 action (even though me and Ashley are supplying the wiitars and game).

So, get ready for that.  I think it's going to be no competition again for me, seeing as the next most experienced person at the game is Ashley and he can't play medium.  Basically, it's going to be total PWNAGE to me.  Sweet.

But now it's off to doing homework... even though I probably won't.

Actually there's just one more thing I'd like to rant about.  The exams.  Ahem... clear my throat...

WHY THE HELL ARE THEY IN JANUARY?!  WHY CAN'T THEY BE BEFORE THE XMAS HOLIDAYS?!  THAT WAY IT MEANS NO HOMEWORK OVER XMAS!!!

/rant

Catch ya later (alligator... mental note:  Alligator jokes = not funny).

EDIT#1:  I just thought this was funny so I might as well post it up.  Just a few moments ago I got attacked messaged by a bunch of people via the IM messaging tool at the bottom of this page.  What was funny about it was the fact that they were all claiming to be different people.  Some were obvious that they were not who they say they were like the person imitating Daisy was calling me 'john' but I know that she calls me 'wai june' all the time.  It was pretty messed up.

Eventually most people revealed who they were, or at least I think they did as I had no real method to check.  Apparently one was Lewis and another was Kate etc.  The only mystery left now was who was 'leeman' I'm kinda torn by the fact that some of the stuff that he/she said could have actually been Leeman but I don't think it was.

Despite some of the vulgar stuff said, I found this experience quite funny.  Well, I would have done if I wasn't so bloody tired.  So, haha guys well done.  Jokes on me.

I knew a day like this would come if place the IM window at the bottom, but at least it's useful for something: Play pranks on me.

But still I'm kinda intrigued on who that last person was... damn, now I really wanna know.  Ah well.  Another funny part was when I interrogated some of them and they tried to avoid the question.  Take for example this one (from the top of my head):

 

Me:  Right, so if you're Ashley.  What was the team name that you gave your team for that gamer's day thing

Imposter:  Er... why would you ask that?  You already know...

 

lmfao, to be honest I had no idea what Ashley's team name was it was just a bluff!  Lol, good times.

The final question I would like to pose is: Who the f*ck masterminded all this?

It seems ever so slightly convenient that all of these started in the space of an hour or so.  That's no coincidence.  And also I received word from one of them that someone told him to just randomly message me.

I'm actually surprised that this didn't happen earlier!  It certainly added some much-needed humour to my before-sleep time.  Ah crap, it's not 1:21AM I was going to sleep earlier tonight... ah well...

Good night.  *yawn*

It's that time of year again...

It's that time of year again where your life is supposed to be full of festive cheer.  And on this blog, it's no different!

It's the blog's first Christmas and I'll be the first to say: 'Merry Christmas' with a cherry on top.

Ah... I can't believe it's Xmas already.  How long has it been since I started this blog?  Lemme check my records...

Holy mc*beep* on a *beep* with a sandwich on top.

According to blogger my first blog post was on 01/05/07 (1st May 2007).  That's a whole... *brain working* 7 months 16 days ago!  w00t!  So, let's see the all important 1st post:

Ok, so after being encouraged by my friends to start a blog - names not included, you know who you are *cough* Gavin & Ashley *end cough* - heres the blog...
Ok, so it needs a little work but geez give me a break; I've only just started blogging.
Right, firstly... erm.... *attempts to think of something funny* heres one - A rabbi, a priest and a monk... ok, actually thats not that funny. Hm... dammit Gavin & Ashley, what was the point of this blog?
Anyway, a little about me:

• I'm currently 15, birthday soon (mental note - yea!)
• GCSEs are around the corner (mental note - boo)
• Drama exam is in two days time (damn... we haven't even finished yet - I blame this on Daisy with her holiday; don't worry if you don't know who she is. Just count yourself lucky)

Well, I have a Wii (yea, Wii FTWZOMGMOO - thats for you Ashley) and if yours is connected online then you can add me:

8879 6062 9250 0429

Currently I have one added Wii (Lewis ☺) but should be getting two more online soon. It's also funny because I originally had two people in the Mii Plaza - Lewis & Gavin - but I... kinda... accidentally deleted Gavin... so Lewis is walking all alone in the Mii Plaza, almost makes me pity him, almost.
So, anyway, thats about it for my first blog. Not much to say, send in your comments and ideas of what I should talk about in my next one and I'll try to oblige.

...

For a first post I didn't have much to say did I?  Granted I had a lot on my mind back then (but nowhere as much as I do now) especially with the Drama exam coming up which someone almost (well... practically did) f*cked us up for by prancing off on a holiday break.  *e-glare*

Anyway, enough dwelling on the past.  And reviving old hated things.

All you need to know is that I've been keeping things chugging along here for over 7 months!  This is the first non-compulsory thing I have properly committed to for over quite a long span of time.  Hooray for that!

And during those few agonizingly crazy months I have managed to post... what for it... what for it...

277 POSTS

That's a helluva lot of posts.  Including this current post, I've done 278 posts!  Just wait a few seconds while I pride myself over this ridiculously large amount...

 

Ok.  Done.

Anyway, enough talking about my unrivaled awesomeness (if we didn't stop I could keep on talking to the end of time).  And talk about more recent events.

===

For the last two consecutive days in a row I played badminton.  Which, in hindsight, wasn't a very good idea.  Firstly, on Sunday:  I sucked at it.  It's been months since I last played and my fitness level's had dropped considerably.  I did much better today though and I'm getting back to grips with the whole: 'swing racket.  Hit shuttle.' thing.  I can still smash pretty well that's probably because of my triceps being in pretty good shape.

During the two different days I played with different groups of people and two very distinct play-styles.  On Sunday, I played against my uncle and friends who rely on technique more than anything.  And for someone who hasn't played in a while this was a major pain in the ass.  Today, however we played some friends who focused more on power and smashing rather than hitting the sweet spot on the court.  I fit in rather nicely here, since I can smash pretty damn good.  No, seriously ask anyone whose played a racket-type sport with me.  I recall a tennis game where I thought it'd be funny to try and see how many times I could hit my opponent with the ball.  I think, in the end, I managed to hit him about 5 times.  What I do remember for a fact though is that I hit him smack bang in the balls.  Ouch.  Anyway, I digress.  Today's group also happened to include Chun who also goes to the same college as me.  I'm sure he's already finished Uni but going back to college to get some extra qualifications (hey, don't ask me.).

Anyhow, my whole body is killing me now.  And before I collapse to exhaustion just thinking about badminton again I think I should move on.

===

In the last few days I've watched a few films as well.  Well, one of them wasn't really a film.  The first one is 'Shrek the Halls.'  Which as you can guess is based around the fictional world of Shrek, Puss and donkey (Eddie Murphy = awesome).  It's a entertaining film/episode; whatever you want to call it.

Shrek the halls with puss and donkey, fa la la la la ~ la-la-la-la.

 

The next film on the agenda is: 'Superbad'  my friends had already urged me to watch this but I previously didn't have the time of (and didn't think of) watching it until I had nothing much to do today.  And I gotta say it's frickin' hilarious!  If you enjoyed American Pie, chances are you'd enjoy this film.  And I seriously think it's in contention to be Best Comedy of 2007.  Sure, it's not exactly a family film what with all the cursing and the repeated references to heterosexual fornication (despite the severe lack of any in the film.  Hell, the nudity dial was dialled right down too).  But it was entertaining, I especially enjoyed the supplementary arc that subtends to main one with Fogle (aka Mclovin) and the two cops.  It produced some priceless moments.

This film, my friends, is another reason I totally want to make a movie.

 

One word:  Tampon.

 

 

 

===

Also, I finally got my hair cut.  *gasp*  Shock!  Horror!  Shock!  Horror!  Repeat.

 

Anyway, for some inexplicable reason my mom doesn't like my hair long.  I have no idea why, but hey whatever.  Anyway, she had been nagging me for a quite a while now to get my hair cut; but I had put it off repeatedly because I just generally couldn't be asked at the time.  That is, until she cornered me the other day...

So, now my hairstyle has turned out like this:

Looks, kinda average doesn't it?

Definitely a far-cry from what I had a certain night...  but nevermind.  I've never really been into trivial stuff like hair.  I've never really had the patience or time to do anything with mine.  When I wake up it pretty much stays like that for the rest of the day.

 

Procrastination FTW!

Spendage and Router

The last two days for me have been jam-packed with stuff, and I'm only know catching a breather and can sit down and type this.

First, let's start off with yesterday.  I'll keep it short and simple.  Biscuits, loadsa biscuits.  As with the usual routine, maths (with Yvonne) gave out biscuits to us since it was our last lesson before xmas.  Yay!  Chocolate chip cookies, if you wanted to know and they were delicious.  The only way the cookies could have been better was if they were bigger!  And they were already pretty large mother-f*cking cookies to begin with!

The following maths lesson (with Sue) was also more of a "fun" orientated lesson.  It consisted off a large box of tasty tasty celebrations (sweets) and a game which we own3d at.  We were split into two teams and had to make up 25 questions to ask the other team.  Unfortunately though, you also have to know the answer so it pretty much ruled out everything I had.  Just for the record these were some of the questions I thought of:

1. Give infinity to 3 significant figures.
2. 99^99999999999999999999999  (^ = to the power of)
3. If one train leaves King's cross at 16:54 and another train leaves Manchester Railway Station at exactly the same time; at what time would they crash?
4. A lorry driver is driving at a speed of 57mph on the A1.  What is the colour of his eyes?
5. A Yr 9 student decides to run 100m.  What is the probability of him standing on some dog sh*t?
6. Calculate the amount of times that the average person gets f*cked up by life.
7. A mad hunter likes to shoot elephants.  On a normal day the chance that he kills an elephant is 0.21 on a bad day the probability decreases to 0.13.  If after twenty shots and he still does not kill an elephant, the chance of him killing one in the remaining shots decreases by 0.05.  Calculate how late he would have to arrive home for his wife to get angry at him.
8. Find the gradient of a chair.
9. Calculate how much oxygen is being sucked into my body right now.

And that's just a small sample, I had many many more.  Alas, I was not allowed to ask them.  Nevermind.  We still won anyway, despite me doing an infinitesimal amount of work.  Score.

That was in short what happened mainly yesterday.

===

Now onto today's events.  Which, I assure you, are much funnier.

First, I had media which consisted of a INSANELY HARD QUIZ (at times).  Seriously, it started of relatively easily then it was just taken the piss.  It started with guessing films from screen-shots; nothing wrong with that.  Well, normally anyway.  The quiz was made by one of the techies that enjoyed films that we totally seemed to be out-of-touch with.  Which meant we totally bombed that.

Next it was guessing the film from THE MUSIC.  Yes, you heard that right.  We couldn't even get the screenshots part right, how the hell did they expect us to be able to guess from the music?!  Sure, there were some staples in there.  ET, Superman etc.  but they were few and far between.  Basically, we bombed this one to.

Things didn't get better at this point, as you'd come to expect.  The next round consisted of guessing the film from THE TAGLINE.

A tagline is a variant of a branding slogan typically used in marketing materials and advertising. The idea behind the concept is to create a memorable phrase that will sum up the tone and premise of a brand or product (like a film), or to reinforce the audience's memory of a product. Some taglines are successful enough to warrant inclusion in popular culture, often becoming snowclones.  - Source: Wiki

This surprisingly churned out our best score so far: 18/22.  The only reason for this though is that Kenny managed to text his friend about the "super-hard" one that no one has been able to guess so far.  Turns out it was 'The Fly.'   asked if we could have 10 points for that and low and behold, she gave us 10 points.

Out very best round came last where it was just guessing the logos.  20/20 baby.  See, corporate branding is good for something.

===

Right afterwards I met up with Ashley, Gavin and Lewis.  Well, when I say: 'met up' I mean chase a bus, which Lewis was on, down the street.  Ah... good times.  The following few hours consisted of insane things where I'm not quite sure what happened since I didn't buy anything... strange.

We ended up in Subway eating some subs and Al managed to find us.  Turns out he came to town with Leeman and Belcher, who were in GameStation.  So after we finished eating we headed towards GS.  We found the two at the counter with Belcher trading in his DS for Oblivion on the PS3.  The following few hours also play through my mind like a blur now.  And we fast forward to about 12:40 where Gavin has to leave for class.  We're standing near Virgin I'm sorry: Zavvi when Gavin pronounced rather proficiently that he wanted to leave.  As we had just met some dudes from college people were talking to other people and didn't hear this.  It was not until about 5/10 minutes later that many people (me included) looked around and quizzed the next person along: 'Where the f*ck is Gavin?'  That was answered by Ashley who said that he had left already.

After a while, our large group which consisted of people from both Franklin and Grimsby dispersed.  As our little troupe (of Ash, Lew, Al and I) set off for Lewis' house to rock out on GH3.  Oh, and did I mention Lewis and Ashley managed to pick up GH3 while we were at town.  Anyway, before that Lewis decided that he may go to JD (not the pictured JD from Scrubs)  to pick up a new coat.  Bad idea.  For the next 15 minutes we stood at the same spot, looking at the same clothes, trying not to act not interested towards Lewis.  Through most of that time, I was messing around with a creaky coat rack that was like a see-saw as I leaned on it.  Anyway, Lewis was very indecisive towards his shopping escapade.  I recall remarking that he was like a woman, and I think everyone agreed.  Including Lewis.

He finally narrowed down his selection to two jackets that he liked but was still unsure on which to get.  In the end, I took the initiative and decided to decide for Lewis.  I took out a 10p coined and dubbed the first coat heads and the second coat tails.  Flipped and it was tails, job done.

Not quite.

Lewis commented how it was too expensive it was or something and we were back to square 1.  Pfft.  Since Lewis was unsure on whether or not he actually had enough money to get the damn thing and he was afraid of being overdrawn he decided to go leg it through WHSmith and check.  Sure, whatever.  Ashley decided to wait at the bench outside WHSmith and just rest for a bit.  I, meanwhile, went into WHSmith to get something to drink and right in the middle I ran smack-bang into Lewis and Al and it hadn't even been that long.

'Back so soon?' I inquired.  And here was Lewis' reply:  'I just remembered.  I can't spend that money, I need it for tomorrow's taxi to work.'

...

D:  x 1000

So we just WASTED 15 MINUTES OF OUR BLOODY TIME FOR NOTHING.

Yes.

That's time I'll never get back.  *sob*

===

Another fast forward, now onto the bus where we're going to Lewis' house.  The only reason I am including this is because of the following scene:

Lewis:  Says something I don't recall what it was.  If you were there and remember, drop me a line.

Me:  Well, you do work at a fish factory.  PACKAGING FISH.

<Lewis puts on a D: face>

Al:  Ouch!  That was harsh!

Me:  Well, life is harsh.

<Laughter by everyone except Lewis.  Who pouts.>

Al:  Omfg.  You're on a roll today!  Lemme see if I can set you up for another.

***

No he couldn't.  Anyway, point is.  I said something funny AND insulted Lewis at the same time.  My work here is done.

===

Skip to Lewis' house and his Little Lilac Attic Room.  We set up Guitar Hero 3, which somehow posed a challenge for the people there and required my assistance to set up.  Lewis struggled on actually getting the Wiimote inside the Guitar and then also struggled to find out how to adjust the size of the strap to an appropriate size.  He didn't even mention it until a few songs in, and I took it and found that the size it was currently at was only suitable for mentally challenged dwarf of tiny stature.  Seriously, it was as small as can be.

Anyway, less talk of strap-adjusting and more strumming and mashing fret buttons!  Unsurprisingly, I was the best out of the 4, seeing as I have been playing the game excessively for the last 2/3 weeks or so.  But the others seemed to pick it up quite well, especially Ashley who had no prior experience at all.  We went through co-op career with almost no hitches at all, we took turns by two doing one song and the next two doing the following song.  We had reached the end of the career mode when we discovered we didn't get any credits!  So playing 'Through the Fire and Flames' by Dragonforce was out of the question.  Unlucky.  Ah well.

Phil, Hogger and Danny Mudd appeared now and proceeded in taking over the game.  Well, not really.  Phil had a go when I was there and he sucked ass, major ass.  No, I mean that full-heartedly.  Unfortunately though, at this point I had to leave as it was either have a lift now or walk later.  And seeing as I was too tired and lazy to walk, I decided to get a lift now.  I hate life's choices like that.  Life just seems to be full of them.  But no matter, I have Lewis' friend code so I could kick his ass any day across Nintendo Wi-Fi (which Mike wasn't very happy about since he had the 360 version).

===

I finally got the router today.  But installing it was a bitch.  I think I had to repeat the installation process about 3 times just because I forgot to turn something off the first 2 times.  Then when it did work, the internet on the host computer messed up!

WTF?!

That makes no sense at all.  If anything the client computer's (in this case, the laptop) internet would mess up, not the host computer's internet.  It's not suppose to work like that.  But anyway, after toiling away for ages I managed to fix the problem.  All it took was a simple ping to google through Command Prompt and I was done.  Everything fell into place and that is why I can type this up now from the laptop.  Awesome.

 

Anyway, that about sums up my hectic two days.  I'm now really tired and it's getting close to 1AM.  *yawn*  Cya soon.

Doomed to Oblivion ¬ EDIT

Not much news the past few days.

The only real news is that I got 'The Elder Scrolls VI:  Oblivion' for my laptop... albeit there is a small problem.  First, it installed fine and everything then IT WOULDN'T WORK.  I started it and tried everything but still it wouldn't work, I consulted some people and found that this also happened for some people.  Eventually, I gave up.

The following day though I came across an interesting post that explained that it was happened due to the video card and something about shaders or something.  Seeing as mine was a laptop and it wouldn't be a very good idea to change the video card, I opted for the software method.  Using this application called 'Old Oblivion' it artificiated some shaders for me and I was able to run the game!  Hooray!

The game looks frickin amazing - and people who have played the game (pretty much all of you by now :P) will agree with me.  For all those who haven't seen/heard/played the game (all 4 of you) before here are some screenshots:

(Actual in-game footage)

 

(Click to see full-size)

Unfortunately for me though... the game still messed up on Vista.  I think I managed to play the first part - basically the tutorial level - before it konked out on me.  It was just getting good as well...  I had a look around the official site to see if this was a known bug or not and turns out Bethesda Softworks don't officially support Vista in Oblivion.

Damn.

So that means I end up having to take the game back on Friday... *sigh*

Oh well.  What PC game should I get in it's place though?  I've been racking my brain trying to think of another PC game that I would like to play on my laptop and so far I have:

• COD4
• The Orange Box (HL2/Portal/TF2)
• (Possibility)  Medieval II:  Total War
• Bioshock
• Halo 2
• (Probably not)  ShadowRun
• Company of Heroes
• The new Civ game (don't recall what number it was)
• Spore (when it hits... which will be probably be next year...)
• Enemy Territory: Quake Wars
• Gears Of War

There were some more I was thinking about but I don't/can't remember.  Ah well, I guess I'll just walk in and see what's available, maybe make a spontaneous decision.  I seem to be able to do that well.

 

===

Oh and when I went to town, I entered GAME.  Where I was going to buy Oblivion.  And guess who I saw?

No, not Santa Claus you dope.

Smithy!

Just in case you have no idea who Smithy is, here's a brief explanation:

Use to go to the same school as me, a year older.  Been working at GAME for about 6 weeks and does magic tricks.  He is also awesome.

That pretty much explains it.  Weird, funny experiences like this seem to happen all the time in GAME.  Just last time I saw Fred (or George... basically the one that didn't die) from the HP books in Game.  It was a splitting image!

 

Pretty much sums up my last two days.  Nothing special and I'm not feeling in an especially good mood, even though holidays are around the corner.  4 more lessons... just 4 more...

 

EDIT#1:  I'd just thought I'd mention that I'm now fully caught in the series: Heroes.  Yeah!  And I gotta say it's amazing.  It's so amazing that I'm fully prepared to make this statement:

The day I stop watching Heroes will be the day that I swallow barbed wire, pull it out my ass and floss myself to death.

Kudos to anyone who knows where that reference came from.*

I've actually been watching for a while (about 5 days now) and I haven't said anything yet because I was afraid someone might decided to "accidentally" spoil it for me.  Yes Gavin, I am looking at you.  *glare*

*If you really wanna know where it is from, here it is:  Zero punctuation's review of GH3.  Dead funny.

I should have mentioned this earlier... NSFW

Last College Monday of the Year (YAY!)

As you may, or may not, know (I use that line way too much... but hey, it works so... whatever) I had an two maths exams last week - I can't remember the exact date but it was last week.

Well, the results are in folks!  And I've got to say I'm rather pleased with the results despite the revision (or lack thereof) I did.  The teacher actually asked me if I did any revision, this is how it went down:

Teacher:  Did you do any revision?

Me:  Well... er... you see.  Long story.  There was this dog, right.  And the dog had giant claws and everything and I happened to have "accidentally" kicked it up the ass as I was messing round with some friends and then-

Teacher:  So, basically.  You didn't do any?

Me:  Er... well... er... yea.

Teacher:  That's all you needed to say.

Me:  *under-my-breath*   Kinda...

Typical, isn't it?  The very same people who teach us come outfitted with BS detectors.  Great.  Just what we need.  Hey, wait a moment... maybe they don't have BS detectors... maybe it's a skill.  Yea, that sounds better.

Sensei (teacher):  Finally, my child.  You have graduated from Uber-Teacher-Training-Awesome-Kick-Flipping-Ass-Kicking-Going-To-Eat-Your-Soul Academy.  Or UBTTAKFAKGTEYSA for short.  You are now a fully licensed teacher, trained in the arts of beating children and generally being the king (or queen) of the classroom.

Random Teacher Guy:  Thank you master.  I shall treasure this moment for the rest of my child-screaming filled life.

Sensei:  Before you go, I must teach you the final skill to obtain the ultimate "Teacher Nirvana."

RTG:  Surely, you don't mean...

Sensei:  Yes, it is the BS detector.  A necessary skill for all teachers.

RTG:  I am honoured.

Sensei:  Now we begin...

Obviously, I cannot reveal the secret to learning true BS detector mastery (psst, it includes a whole load of ninja turtles that squirt water...).  It is a valuable skill among the teaching world and only a selected few have the right to fully teach this to others... or something.

Reality check.  Check.

Anyway, the exam scores.  Before I start dawdling on about something else... hey, you know that Xmas is around the corner-

Ah damn, I'm doing it again.  Anyway, exam scores is as follows:

S1:  79% (I think, can't exactly remember, was in that region)

C2: 81%

Nice, right.  80% is roughly an A, so I'm pretty close.  It's a lot better than I expected since I didn't revise and failed to concentrate.  Even when I did (attempt to) revise I revised for the wrong subject anyway.  Here's a little formula to show you what I mean:

Me + Revision ≠ High test scores

Trust me, it's correct.  Just like how this one works out:

Gavin + Me + Ashley + Woodburner + a whole load of alcohol = Insanity

Btw, I should note now that ≠ means 'not equal to.'  But I'm sure you knew that, right?

===

In other maths-related news:  Steve has also transferred from our maths class and now only does "normal AS maths" he still comes to the S1 lessons but not C2.  Traitor.  I should have his head for that!

That's the 2nd person that's dropped out already and it hasn't even reached Xmas yet?!  Just goes to show how tough it actually is.  Insanely tough.

I could pull any question out of the exams we took and unless your a mathematician, a student taking mathematician at Uni level or just goddamn talented with number/maths/algebra; then you could wrack your mind for countless hours and you probably wouldn't even be close!

Don't believe me?

I hear a challenge.  Well, I actually hear some random dance music right now but meh... it's close enough.  Here's a question for you, it's the first question (and usually the easiest) from the S1 test for this year, check it out:

If you can somehow, through a twist of fate in biblical proportions resulting in a paradox of unfathomable proportions sucking out life into utter meaninglessness, get it right (and are not one of those people stated above) then you are either:

1. Very lucky
2. Lying
3. Cheating
4. An ass

And that's the FIRST QUESTION.  Check out the PAIN that is the last question:

Ouch.  Nuff said (or read).

Now, you know a teeny weeny bit of my pain (and utter disdain and contempt for exams of such types).

===

Funny story.  I know you always like them.

This morning, during media, Jamie pointed out something very interesting to me.

I'm a word-glorifier.

If that makes any sense whatsoever.  Since you simple-minded nincompoops probably won't understand it if I explain using words, here's a picture that explains it... using words...

If you still don't get it I'll put it as simply as I can:  I MAKE STUFF SOUND BETTER THAN IT DOES.

The example in the above picture doesn't give it justice, I regularly churn out better words in media from what Jamie tells me.  Here are a few more examples:

The text gives meaning to the picture.  >AFTER MY INTERVENTION>  The ensuing text anchors meaning to the image.

It's a video game advert.  >AFTER MY INTERVENTION>  The text we are analysing is based on a video game and was made to promote and subsequently sell the product it is advertising.

 

You get the idea.  But it was funny that I didn't notice until Jamie pointed it out to me.  I believe his exact words were:  'Why are the words I'm saying crappy, yet you type down some awesome stuff?'  I think it's a gift - even if I would have preferred pretty much any other gift (musical talent, being able to do large sums in my head in a split second, flight, teleportation ¬ you know, the usual kind).

===

Tis' bout it for this post.  And I have one lesson tomorrow since General Studies is cancelled: YAY!  and Xmas is coming up: YAY!

(Early) Merry Xmas everyone.

Free Wii Points

... er... technically.

I'll explain what Wii points are first, just in case some people have no idea what it is. Wii Points are the Wii's virtual currency, if you will. They are spent in it's 'Wii Shop Channel' currently you can only buy retro (old) games from previous generation consoles. And it's an amazing service with awesome emulation; even so Nintendo are going to add a 'WiiWare' section, come 2008 where original titles from all sorts of developers (including indie) can release their titles easier and cheaper.

Anyway, on to the meat of this post.

For 1337 people in the know, Nintendo of Europe recently updated their website - and took their f*cking time too. I wasn't expecting too much off it and generally couldn't care less. Until I heard about the: 'Stars to Wii-points scheme.' I should explain that you get stars by doing certain stuff; mainly inputting PIN codes from a piece of paper that comes with the game. So, anyway. Normally, for me anyway, these stars just sit there on the website unused because before this the store generally totally SUCKED. Before it was all wallpapers and ringtones that were real crappy, and you could probably find on the internet for free. Until now. These idea is a great one and is actually worth me typing in a 14 letter long PIN code and filling out a crappy questionnaire to obtain these stars.

And that's exactly what I did.

I went round the house, scrounging for every Nintendo product I could get my rascallian hands on. At this point, I noticed I do have a rather large pile of games sitting round and should really trade some in some time. Perhaps next Friday. So, by the time I got back to my laptop with a bunch of games it was about 11PM, and I set about inputting every code and doing pretty much the SAME FRICKIN QUESTIONNAIRE OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Argh, it was pain. That reminded me on why I didn't do a mass input of PIN codes before... but I remembered my goal. And I was going to reach it.

It took about an hour but I finally did it. I put down the final piece of paper (which was actually the PIN code for the Wii - 1000 stars [YAY!]) and sat back relieved. And I racked up about 4600 odd stars, not bad. Then I saw the exchange rate... it wasn't a 1 - 1 conversion, but I didn't expect that anyway. I was thinking along the lines of: 2 stars - 1 Wii Point. But no. Nintendo decided that 4 - 1 was a good idea... which it isn't. So I only managed to get a 1000 Wii Points (I didn't bother with the remaining 600 odd stars - maybe some other day). I received the voucher code and I'm pleased to say it does indeed work.

But still the conversion rate is very steep.

But hey, what am I to look a gift horse in the mouth (wait, what?). It's better than nothing, right?

My primary candidate for VC game to buy is: 'Pokemon Snap.' Here's the opening paragraph of the Wikipedia article (because I'm too lazy to explain myself and I've already explained one thing already today [look above]):

Pokémon Snap (ポケモンスナップ, Pokemon Sunappu) is a video game developed by HAL Laboratory and published by Nintendo for the Nintendo 64. It is part of the Pokémon series, and was first released in North America on June 30, 1999.

It is set for release on the Wii's Virtual Console in Japan on December 4, 2007 and December 10, 2007 in North America with the added feature of being able to send pictures taken in the game to the Wii Message Board and sending them to friends.

Pokémon Snap was originally revealed as a Nintendo 64DD game.

Didn't explain much, did it?

Well, here's the basic premise that you may, or may not, have gathered from the name: You are taken along a predetermined route (on-rails, so to say) and you have to take pictures of Pokemon.

Yes, you heard that correctly. Take pictures of Pokemon. Doesn't sound very fun, does it?

I'll actually use my friend Duck (not his real name) to explain it's fun factor:

'Whenever I describe this game to someone who's never played it, it sounds incredibly boring. Seriously, the thought of taking pictures of Pokemon while moving along a fixed path with almost no freedom at all? Comes across as somewhat boring, huh?
But, despite this seemingly snore-worthy concept, Pokemon Snap was a great amount of fun. Moving throughout each level and finding new and creative ways of taking pictures was an amazing adventure. It wasn't enough to merely snap a pic of a Magmar! No, you had to catch it when it's breathing fire on another Magmar! This is a great action shot, and it earns you a whole lot of points!
Further more, getting the Pokémon to fill as much of the frame as possible is important, too. If it's really far away or much too close it just won't do! You have to make it so it's as close as can be without surpassing the borders of the picture. Keep it all in-frame, and it can really be worth quite a bit. Also, make sure the Pokémon's facing you, too. A picture of a Kangaskhan's butt isn't exactly gonna cut it.
You could also interact with the environment and the Pokemon themselves! Throwing apples to tempt a Bulbasaur out of a tree stump or chucking Pester Balls (Sleeping gas-filled Pokéballs) at a switch is often key to getting the best pics of a Pokémon, and sometimes even makes new creatures appear.
Sure, Pokémon Snap may not sound like the greatest idea for a game at first, but behind it's boring concept lies a great little puzzle/adventure game waiting to be discovered. Snap is probably my favourite Pokémon spin-off yet, and I can't wait to download this once it hits the Virtual Console.'

So there you have it. Straight from the duck's mouth (geddit?). Duck is also one of the driving forces behind me getting this game, as he seemed to have issued a death threat to me in the process when I last talked to him: "Buy Snap next week, or your DEAD TO ME." Ok, less of a death threat more of a hard-hitting statement.

Anyway, enough of that.

Another factor in my choice is that this is also the first (and probably not the last) game to receive some added features to. Nintendo are adding a feature to send pictures to the Wii Messageboard so you can send it to friends. I bet Gavin and Lewis (my only two Wii contacts on my Wii - I was suppose to have Daisy's but I forgot to ask her for her Wii number. Oh well.) will be jealous when I start bombarding their Wiis with photos... muhahaha

Awesome.

That pretty much wraps up this post, I've probably forgotten a bunch of things but it's starting to get late now and I can't be missing my beauty sleep can I? Even though tomorrow is Sunday and all I'm going to do is lie in until I suffocate from my own procrastination.

Oh and before I forget. Here are links to the new Nintendo website and the Wii Points change service thing:

NINTENDO UK

Stars to Wii Points

Oh and just for the record, here were the other titles I was thinking of buying on the VC. Obviously my choice isn't final behind Pokemon Snap.

• Ocarina of Time
• Super Mario 64
• Link to the past
• Sonic 1,2 or 3
• Any of the SMB games
• Super Mario World
• Gunstar Heroes

There were some more, but I forget.

To ease any hatred towards me if you don't live in Europe and can't exchange stars for Wii Points, here's a video of Wii Fit (that's already released in Japan):

Hm... that may not have helped. But the game looks awesome, I'm highly considering buying this when it comes out. Although much depends on it's price tag...

Exams = HATE

I'm sure I've expressed my hatred for exams already.  Especially in the period of GCSE exams.  But today I entered an entirely new plane of spite for exams such as these.

Sure, today was only mock exams.  But it was TWO MOCK EXAMS.  Neither of them very forgiving either.

Coupled with the fact that I messed up my revision (trust me too), it made it doubly harder.  How did I mess up?  Well, the previous night I was revising for S1.  Because I thought that was the exam that was going to be first.  Then at lunch I would revise C2.

Then to my surprise, and my utter contempt, I was told just before the test that it was C2.  GODDAMMIT.  I even physically smacked my fist on the table to show my frustration.  Oh well.

So, I did the test wholly unprepared.  I actually did quite well, I reckon.  Probably not as well as I could have, but still quite good.  The following test (S1) was more of the same.  Although I found S1 harder, since it is statistics.

[S1 = Statistics 1; C2 = Core (or Pure) Mathematics 2]

I did find something out today though.  I seemed to be better at doing harder questions.  No joke.  I noticed today that I missed some questions out at the beginning of the exam (the easier parts) but near the end it was a breeze (the harder parts).  WTF is up with that?

The whole concept of 'harder' is for it to be more difficult and so potential students will struggle more.  But I seem to be doing the reverse, stumbling at the beginning but at the home straight I glide home effortlessly.  Obviously, I'm not complaining.  Since the end questions yield more marks.  Which means win-win for me!

===

Moving on to more internet-related news.

If you've been round this blog a few times, you may have heard of one game I've been eagerly anticipating.  That game is: SSBB.

Today my dreams were shattered as Nintendo released a list of games coming out Q1 and Q2.  And SSBB was NOT ON THE LIST.  Which means I have to wait until JUNE, AT THE VERY LEAST  to play the game!  WTF?!

That's the one thing I hate about Nintendo.  PAL countries always come last and they never seem to be able to pull off simultaneous launches, despite pretty much every other large video game company being able to.  It just makes no sense to me, why is there such a big delay for games in PAL countries.  SPM, MP3:C to name a few.

I've already wrote to Nintendo Of Europe (NoE) at info@nintendo.de but the only reply I've got is automated.  But it's still early days.  Too bad it's located in Germany or I would trudge down to NoE HQ myself and do some serious question-asking.  I think it would go something like this:

NoE Employee 1:  So, whassup today?

NoE Employee 2:  Not much, screwing over the Europeans again with our release dates.

1:  Oh, ok.  So nothing new.

2:  Yea, relatively normal day-

KABOOM!  Door breaks down.  A ton of mist and dust is kicked up... somehow.  Silhouette appears.  It's me.

Me:  Ok, Nintendo of Europe.  I'm hearing to kick ass and play games... and I don't see any games!

Shoots laser beams out of eyes.

1:  Ah!  We're all gonna die!

2:  Think of the children!  Why won't anyone think of the children?!

Random German Guy:  Ach nein! Ich bin tot!

Me:  I don't hear no begging to spare your lives!

A voice from far away:  That's because they're ALL DEAD.

Me:  Opps.  My bad.  I knew I should have gone with delegation rather than the 'all guns blazing' plan.  Oh well, sh*t happens.

Picks up telephone.

Me:  *Puts on deeper voice*  Er... is this NoJ?

Japanese Guy:  はい。  本当にそうです。

Me:  Er... ok.  Now let's put those Japanese lessons to the test.

<The following is translated so you know what the f*ck is going on>

Me:  I'm calling to say that we're bumping up the release date of SSBB in Europe.

JG:  Oh ok.  To when?

Me:  Now.

JG:  Now?  That's impossible.  The game isn't even finished y-

Me:  SHOOSH!  I don't care.  What I say, goes.

JG:  B-but this is absurd!

Me:  NOT AS ABSURD AS YOUR FACE!

Slams phone down.  Straightens jacket, and pats dust of myself casually.

Me:  Well, I think I handled that quite well.

Walks off towards the sunset.  Leaving the scene of the crime, strangely the police have yet to arrive.  Meh, whatever.  They're German anyway.

***

And that my friend, concludes on what would happen if I actually went to the HQ.  Pretty bad-ass, right?

 

Oh and Ashley if you're reading I expect souvenirs from your trip to Orlando.

;)

Tis' the season to be... er... unjolly (?) ~~~ NINJAS!

I'm not bad-mouthing Xmas or anything, because Xmas is awesome.  For years Xmas has long been one of the things kids wait the whole year for, and when it passes they eagerly await the following year's Xmas.  The only other thing that gets kids so excited are their birthdays, only because then you're the special one.  But if it's talking about festive spirit and all that crap, Xmas takes the mince pie.  See what I did there?

Anyway, things have been good lately.  My laptops awesome and everything's good, still waiting for the router though.  Oh, and did I mention, I'm blogging using my laptop right now.  How?  Let's just say I managed to find a access point...  let's just leave it at that.  I've had enough of illegal activity for the month.

So, what do I mean by the unjolly bit?  I hear you ask.  Well, I'll keep it short, sweet and straight to the point:

I HAVE TWO MOCK EXAMS TOMORROW.

Ouch.

They are both maths exams.  And they aren't easy either, first there's S1 in the morning then there's C2 in the afternoon.  Boom!  Double whammy!  Yes, I just got hit by a one-two double punch.  And the bad thing was we got to vote on whether we wanted both tests on the same day or on different days.  D'oh.  To add insult to injury, I suck at revising.  No, seriously I do.  The only test I have ever ever ever revised for was the GCSE PE test.  And that was 10 minutes of playing games on BBC Bitesize (hey, it was revising).  I winged all my GCSE tests (and passed them with flying colours, if I may add - Refer to this post, if you don't believe me).

Now, I'm stuck doing two maths exams that are rock hard.  *sigh* Such is the life of a college student.  Maybe I shouldn't have signed up after all and went for some easier courses.

Well, nevermind.  What's passed has passed.  Let's stop dwelling over my sadness and move onto some entertaining personal experiences I've had since the last time I've really posted any.

Hm... hilariously entertaining personal experiences... oh, I got one.  This one is relatively new.  Today, we had to present our presentations of an analysis of a certain website.  Jamie and I chose the Halo 3 website (the only thing that sprung into our heads at the time).  So, we carried on.

And when it was time to present our work, he chose to do odd numbers and I chose to do even numbers.  Simple enough.  Nothing funny yet.

Then we reached the 11th (or something) slide and it was describing the 'Lead Character' which is, if course, Master Chief.  The picture we found of him was of him "crouching over a downed player."  Now, if you have any experience whatsoever in Halo's multiplayer component you'd have known I was talking about the ever elusive technique: 'Tea-bagging.'  And Jamie had the job of explaining the term to a rowdy class of 20 odd teenagers.  Nice.

It was hilarious, coupled with the fact that I added in speech bubbles for the characters (use your imagination).  I was literally bursting my guts for the next few slides.  Genius.

===

Another moment that I can think of, is concerning the posters we made one fateful day...

The poster was normally hung up on the wall, but the other day we walked into the classroom and it was gone!  *gasp*  This was the job for detective WJUK!  I quickly uncovered that it was Sue (our teacher) who had removed it.  At this point I thought she caught on to the numerous phallic images on the poster... that would have been an awkward conversation.  But no, she just moved it downstairs for the whole world to see for Open Evening.  Yes, that's right.  Out of all the posters available ours was chosen to take downstairs.  Well, naturally ours is the most awesome.  IT WAS 3D!  WITH A FRUSTRUM THAT OPENED OUT TO SAY: 'MATHS RULEZ!  LOLZ!'  IT CAN'T POSSIBLY BE MORE AWESOME.

I only wish I had an actual camera to take photos of it to share with you lot, but alas I'm broke.  So, things aren't looking well for people who are expecting presents for me this Xmas.  :)

===

Moving on.

What's 'NINJAS' doing in the title?

Well, lemme explain.  My business associate: Gavin.  Who seems to have given up on this blog, don't worry I haven't... yet.  Told me it was 'CREEP LIKE A NINJA DAY' and I can confirm that it is indeed true.  December 5th!  I vowed not to forget about it, but it's too late now since I don't get to creep around college and throw shruikens at people without the noticing.  *sigh*  Things just aren't going my way lately.  First, there are exams and now: NO SHRUIKEN ACTION?!  What has this world come to.

If only Gavin had told me earlier.

This cat possesses some 1337 ninja skills.  And shows the dog the fearsome side of his/her paw!

===

A final word.  Many of you may have heard of the Gerstmann/Gamespot incident lately.  Especially if you have been surfing the ever active blogosphere.

I feel inclined to have a say in this (hey, why not?  I have a say in pretty much everything else).  So here it is:

Gamespot sucks.

Shame on you GS.  I've actually been using your website as a reliable source of video game related news for a long time but now... I'm not sure what to think.  So, BOYCOTTED!

Short and sweet.  Just the way I like it.

Dell XPS M1330

YES! was my first reaction when I walked into the house finding the box containing the laptop.

And even though it's been several hours since that moment, I'm still thrilled to finally receive it.  Oh and it's a Dell XPS M1330.

It normally sells around £700/£800 mark (or more in some instances) but I managed to get it for £425.  Yes, you heard that right.  It's a long story.  My uncle works in the electronics business (he's a electronics wholesaler or something) and he nabbed 6 of these bad boys when a company went bankrupt and had to sell all it's stock.  Kaching!

So far, my experience with the laptop has been great.  The camera is good, and boasts a multitude of features.  The keyboard is great, with a good feel and good feedback.  There's a HDMI output and 2 USB ports.  Two headphone jacks and a microphone input slot.  The whole appearance with the clash of futuristic silver and black makes for a very swish and stylish look and feel.

For some reason, I also managed to get Windows Vista Business version on it.  *shrugs* Ah well, it's not like there's any major difference.  Everything came installed (including the OS, Microsoft Office, sound drivers etc.) and all I had to do was take it out of it's (gigantic) box and press the power button.  Real convenient.

And the amount of stuff I got that came with it was a nice touch too.  Here's a list of the top of my head:

• The laptop (obviously)
• Noise-reduction headphones (with a pouch)
• A remote control (that actually works)
• A laptop case
• A laptop bag
• A bunch of CDs (including office and drivers)
• A manual folder thing
• Several cardboard boxes and bubble-wrap/polystyrene

You got to agree with me on this:  I got one helluva sweet deal.

Here are some pictures I took using my webcam.  Sorry for the low picture quality, I've still yet to get a proper camera; I'm skint now after splashing out on the laptop.

My laptop bag.

The remote control doo-hickey (propped against my clock.

The manual.

What about the actual laptop?  I hear you ask.

Well... let's just say... I did a video instead!  Also with the webcam.  Enjoy.

Awesomeness...

I'm taking it to college with me tomorrow to do two things:

1. See if college has an wireless internet connection I could abuse
2. Show off

To be honest, it's mainly number 2.  lulz

 

Anyway, I don't have time for any more typing.  I've got homework to do.  *sigh*

Ciao.

New Banner - ANIMATED

Hi, me again.

Sorry for the lack of updates. I've been very busy lately what with exams coming up and the dreaded Xmas shopping season and the actual Xmas holiday itself.

But don't worry. I won't forget the true meaning of Xmas: 'The birth of Santa.'

Anyway, moving on. This post is really so that I can inform you lovely people that a new site banner is up! Hooray!

And this one is ANIMATED.

*gasp* Yes, you heard right: ANIMATED. See how you like it. It took me some time as well, but I'm rather proud of the finished product. :)

See if you can see what changes... here's a little tip:

PWN3D!

Oh and be sure to check back this Monday for impressions of my new laptop. Have you guessed which DELL laptop it is yet?

HINT:

Total PWN3AGE.

WATCH THIS SPACE! - UPDATE

I'm delaying posting for today seeing as:

1. I cba.
2. Things are getting a little hectic in my real life.  Yes, I have one of those too.  I have two exams coming up next week.
3. I'm getting my new laptop tomorrow...  hopefully.  So I may do something about that tomorrow.
4. Not much has happened.  Well, that's not right.  A bunch of stuff has happened but most of them trivial and not really worth mentioning.
5. I cba.

Well, there you have it.

So, watch this space.  And until my next post you can attempt to guess what laptop I'm getting!

I'll give you one hint:  DELL.

 

Yes, you heard it right: DELL.

Brings me back to my school days...

...

 

...

*shudder*

 

 

 

 

 

UPDATE#1:  Seeing as it would probably be quite easy to guess for some of you tech-savvy people, I thought I'd add something else.  But first, let me ask you this:

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE "MONKEYSPHERE"?

No?  Then your missing out.  On what?  I have no idea, but hey.  It's got the word monkey in so it's bound to be good.*

So take a read and find out about the Monkeysphere.

FOR MONKEYSPHERE: CLICKY HERE.

Despite it's ridiculous, laughable name; it makes more sense than you think.  Trust me.  Don't be fooled.

Yaargh!  He'd be right, ya know!

 

*When I say this it doesn't include stuff that has the following words:  Rabies, disease, HIV, AIDS, killing, homicide, genocide, penis, "getting it on", "making love", "making sweet monkey love", "millions are dying from a zombie monkey out-break", mind-control, evil-genius, uber-smart.  And so on and so forth.

UPDATE#1:  Ok, here's the deal:  Some sh*t happened.

Oh yes, sh*t always happens.  You say.  Well, tough luck.  Because it's true.  Due to some error from the package-sending agency (or whatever they're called nowadays), I have yet to receive my laptop!

*gasp*

And since they don't send on Saturdays and Sundays; I won't be getting it UNTIL MONDAY.  I know, how sucky is that.  I thought I could use the weekend to get to know my laptop but no!  The corporate mailing companies had to take that away from me.  Those b*stards.

So, since I'm mourning the not-yet-arrival of my new piece of high-tech-spec machinery.  I'm delaying this post.

:P  Yes, I can do that.

... And if my laptop doesn't arrive Monday... some dude is going to get a pummelling.

Dragons and Tigers and parodies. Oh my!

I saw two films on Sunday. *ahem* Legally, of course. Yes, legally.

Anyway, I saw "Good Luck Chuck" about this guy who got hexed are something. But basically it's just an excuse to get a bunch of hot women to undress.

Then I saw "Dragon Tiger Gate" a Hong Kong martial arts flick based off a comic. It's so bad-ass that the subs had one dude called: 'Turbo.' Yes, I know how you feel. But that didn't matter to me since I could understand them without the subs (hooray for knowing Cantonese - a dialect used mainly in HK of Chinese). So awesome. And by the way, the name sounds so much cooler in Chinese. And I mean much cooler.

Here are two promo pics for each film.

Now, guess which film I enjoyed more?

Not sure, yet? I thought you knew better.

Fine, here's some clips of the film:

Funny. Nuff' said.

THE FOLLOWING VIDEO CONTAINS HUGE SPOILERS. Nunchukas, high kicks AND a cape?! What more do you want?

By the way, in the second video (for Dragon Tiger Gate): You see the punching bag near the end of the video? Yes? Well, that is the WORLD'S LARGEST PUNCHING BAG (according to Guinness Book of World Records). Talk about awesomeness. And oh, that's not the only fight in the movie. But I should note that it's a huge spoiler.

Now can you guess which film I enjoyed more?

Answer as follows (highlight): 'Good Luck Chuck'

...

...

...

Nah, I was only joking. Dragon Tiger Gate was the most awesome by miles. Sure, Good Luck Chuck provided some laughs but nothing beats a good ol' beat-em-up. Especially if it's a HK martial arts flick.

Let me reiterate: If you have to watch a movie out of the two above, watch:

Dragon Tiger Gate

===

And what about parodies? I hear you say. Well, I came across a delightful little parody of a song you may have heard before. I'll just shut up now and let you watch:

Because I'm totally awesome and numerous people agree. I'll post the lyrics too, in snazzy GREEN font *gasp*:

Hey there, Delilah, what's it like to have big titties?
Everytime I fuck your asshole, I imagine Conway Twitty, yes I do.
I fantasize that you're a dude...
One who's tattooed.

Hey there, Delilah, don't you worry about my dicklessness.
I'm just an emo fag,
I'd fuck your younger brother shitless.
Yes I would.
I jack off to "Boys in the Hood."
I yank it good.

Oh, it's what dudes do to me - Oh it's what dudes do to me
Oh, it's what dudes do to me - Oh it's what dudes do to me.
What dudes do to me.

Hey there, Delilah, my Tom Jones is gettin' hard.
Just two more beers, and I'll work up the nerve to go down on that tard;
I'll take it all.
I'll ride his tard junk, balls and all.
Unhinge my jaw.

Hey there, Delilah, I'm not sayin' that I'm gay,
but if you put a cock in front of me, I'd rub it on my face - I'd grab the shaft...
And slowly work it up my ass.
Then hunch it fast.

Oh, it's what dudes do to me - Oh it's what dudes do to me
Oh, it's what dudes do to me - Oh it's what dudes do to me.

A thousand goths and one cigar - I know that dream sounds so bizarre.
I cut myself to make it go away.
Our friends would all make fun of us, but fuck those bitchass douchebag cunts.
They'll pay their debts in blood this very day...
Delilah, I can promise you that once I prove that you're a Jew,
I'll baptize all your family in flame... and you're to blame.

Hey there, Delilah, don't you worry about protection.
You have all the cops you want, I'll still add you to my collection - yes I will.
Your shrieks of pain will be so shrill.
Half of you will end up in a land fill.
I'll wear your skin - call myself Jill.
It will be ill.

Oh, it's what dudes do to me - Oh it's what dudes do to me
Oh, it's what dudes do to me - Oh it's what dudes do to me
What dudes do to me

I think you gotta agree it's pretty awesome as well. The singing could be better. But the lyrics seem to be very imaginative. And funny, don't forget funny.

===

GH3 rawks.

EDIT#1: Apparently the parody video was taken off Dailymotion so I've uploaded the MySpace TV version.