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Friday, 29 June 2007

GCSEs Done and Dusted! Prom...

After a complaint made known to me about how late my posts come up and stuff. I'm trying my best to start posting earlier. But I swear it's not good for my karma...


Oh well. Karma will have to live with it. Moving swiftly on from this topic:

As you may, or may not, know I had my final GCSE exam today. Maths (again). It was another one of those pilot exams. Basically, we are guinea pigs for an untested exam - that probably emits some kind of radioactive poison that plants a very small radioactive cell inside our brains and slowly kills us from the inside-out; very painfully. Probably not though.

It was a toughie as well. There were some very easy questions in there as well. You know the run-of-the-mill:

Coral says: 'Yada yada... <insert random mathematical terminology>'

Coral is wrong. Explain why.

Because she is a woman.

Which also accounts for the crash that happened outside the school's main gate today. I didn't see it as I use the back gate. But Gavin told us bout it, I think it was Gavin anyway. This is how I actually found out about it.

Gavin: Did you see the crash outside.

Lewis: Yea, a woman crashed.

Gavin: Ah, that explains everything.

Which he is probably right. I overheard it while talking to some other dude - thinking back, who was he? ... Nevermind.

Let's move on again.


I'm going.

The end.

Well, even though I haven't paid I'm going. If possible for free. But I might have to pay at the door. I also heard that where we are having the prom could be flooded. Damn. I'm guessing the rodeo bull won't be there from the media awards (yea, some place).

I'll update you with how it goes. Chances are we won't get served. Although I heard other people are bringing drinks, and teachers will buy us drinks or something. It's all just speculation however.

Now, it's that time again.

The continuation of the story that has no name...

Oh wait, before that I have a call to take. It's from Franklin...


Some unknown amount of time passes.

I'm back. It's a woman from Franklin saying next weeks open day for us is canceled. Because only 4 people decided to come. Thinking about it, it's probably me, Kate and two other people! Tom was meant to come, except he had no idea you had to post the later. Despite it saying so.

I also had to choose my subjects. *gulp* I stuck with my original ones, as I had no other ideas on what to do. There are:

  • IT
  • Media
  • Business Studies
  • (and the dreaded) Maths

In no particular order.

Anyway, back to the story.

<Insert dramatic movie voice>
The last we saw of our heroes they were split up. WJUK and Gimely have passed the door and are now traversing the desert. Gavin is also in the desert. Does that mean they will meet up? Let's find out in today's edition of the story...
<End melo-dramatic movie voice dude>

'I'm hot, tired, sticky and thirsty...' Gimely says with a dry tongue.

'Duh. Last time I checked we are in the FRICKIN' DESERT!'

'No need to shout.'

'Then quit your whining.'

The desert is killing us. We need to reach water and shade. Fast.

Suddenly, there in the distance. I can see something.

'LOOK GIMELY! Do you see it?'

'OMFG! Yes, I do!'

With our remaining ounces of strength we dashed across the hard-baked desert floor. Hoping to reach that place before we expire. And hoping that is isn't a mirage.

It's not. It's a quaint little hut. No bigger than 5mx5m.

'There, behind the house! A well!'

Without thinking about it we run for the well. In the hope of finding water. But, the well is strange. It's not of a kind I - or Gimely - have ever seen before. There was no bucket or anything. Just a little pipe sticking out the side. And some buttons. Green and red.


A shotgun is fired. Startling Gimely and I. Gimely falls over and fails to get back up due to his tiredness.

'Hu're yu peple?' The man with the shotgun says.

I turn around slowly. And I can see him clearly, despite the bright sun in my eyes. He is wearing a straw hat - an old, worn out one by the looks of it - and just a loin cloth. Nothing else is on him, except his shotgun. Which by the way is staring right down my face.

'I ask'd: Hu're yu peple?!' He repeats.

'Er... I'm WJUK and that is Gimely' I turned around fully. And try to speak with as much confidence as I can muster, although wary of the obvious firearm pointing at my face. In turning around I exposed my dualies - which are kept hidden most of the time.

'U ar... gunslingers.' Pointing towards my guns.

This guys a nutjob. I better go along with the act.
'Ai. We are. Gunslingers through and through. Descended from the great line of Tet (Tet? WTF was I thinking?). Here on a mission...' The words just rolled out naturally. Spoken with great confidence. I turn to look and Gimely, his face is one of shock... and fear. Even I never knew I was such a good talker.

'Ai. Gunslinger. You say true. Thou, I 'avnt 'eard of the "line of Tet" - 'tis entirely new to me.'

*gulp* 'Nevermind the pleasantries. Let us move on. Into the protection of your humble abode and your water.'

I'm getting pretty good at this.'

Yes, certainly. Cry u ar pardon bout zat little 'ncident. My name is Lewis, from the line of Gray.'

'Do you always talk funny?' Gimely rudely interrupts. I'll need to teach that penguin some manners one day.

'Pardon? What the accent. No. I merely use it to amuse myself at times. It's dreadfully boring out here.' What came from his mouth was a perfect, crisp Bristish accent if I ever heard one. 'Sorry about the confusion. Now, please come in.'

This is weird. Very weird.

We enter his house. Momentarily our tiredness and thirst is forgotten about. But not for long. His house is not big. And is rather empty. A rather primitive cooking stove stands on the corner, depressed and severely needing repair. Apart from that, not much is to note about his home. Apart from... apart from the obvious smell of... urine. I recall that people in the desert use feces to build their house. The though sends a cold shiver down the spine. Not the bit refreshing.

'Why does your home smell of urine?' It just had to be asked.

'Oh that. When I run out of water - which is entirely possible because that well outside isn't entirely reliable...' I knew where this was going. Oh crap. 'Well, when that happens. I drink my own urine.' That last part was spoken proudly. Like he has just won an award for something.

'Haha! Urine! Urea! You suck!' What the hell was that? There by the entrance was a small perch and atop it was a parrot. A rather detestable looking one.

'Pay no heed to Zort. He's always messing around like that. He's my only friend out here. My best friend.' That last sentence was spoken with such sorrow that I actually felt sympathetic for the man. Then I remembered he drinks his own urine. Which reminds me.

'You do have water today, right?' Please be yes. Please be yes. Oh dear lord, please be yes.

'Yea. You got lucky. Started working again yesterday.'

Oh thank god.

'May we have some water to drink?'

'Ai. You gunslingers have gotten far without water. That's quite remarkable.' He walks over to a large pot next to the stove and lifts the lid. Grabbing hold of two tin cup (of an assortment of them) on top of the stove he fills them both. And places them on the table at, which now, I am sat.

I waste no time drinking the water. Gushing it down my throat. The coldness restoring my strength... and my brain. Gimely does the same. But in a sloppier way.

'I guess we need to palaver then...' Lewis speaks out - followed by a monotone sigh. Rather depressingly. He knows that we will have to leave soon.

'Ai. We do.'

'About the trolfs. I'm guessing.'


'Well, they have only entered the area during the last 5 years-'


'WTF? Chomp? What kind of sound is that?' I turn around, not knowing what to expect.

There stood Gimely. Eating... Zort. OMFG! That's it we're screwed.

He devours Gimely in seconds. And burps out a feather.

Blank expressions fill mine and Lewis' face.

'... What? I was hungry.'

F*ck. How we suppose to find out where Gavin is now?

'GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEETTTT OUUUTT!' Lewis screams in fury. My eardrums explode (metaphorically) - this dude has quite some voice.

We run out, Lewis close behind with a stick he conveniently picked up. I could kill him any moment.... No, he's endured enough for one day.

'He's lost all control. We won't get anything from him anymore. It's all your fault Gimely. We'll just head East. I have a good feeling about that way.'

'... Sorry...' I never knew Gimely was capable of such things. Too late for 'sorry' now.

In the far distance we hear Lewis. A raving lunatic under the clear blue sky. The heat of the sun blazing the ground. He's not going to survive for long without social interaction.

'Crying. He's crying' This time I do feel sympathetic for him. Destined to die all alone in this desolate place.

'Let's go.' We turn around and walk off into the distance. Never looking back. Yet the crying continued. We heard it in our minds. The crying felt more like maniacal laughter after a while.

Yet, just remembering the feces and urine sends my mind into regurgitation mode.
We leave our intrepid adventurers there. Make sure you get your fill on Gavin's side of the story.

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