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Sunday, 23 September 2007

Daddy Long Legs season? (MANY PICTURES IN POST)

Well, as the title suggests this particular post tries to surmise if it is Daddy Long Legs season or not.

For anyone who doesn't know or haven't seen one before, here's a picture:

Gruesome.  Anyway, after checking it up on Wikipedia, it turns out in different parts of the world "Daddy Long Legs" is a name for different things.  In the UK (which is here) it is referring to a "Crane Fly" - pictured above.

Here's a bit copied from the Wikipedia article (Daddy Long Legs) itself:

  • A crane fly (Tipulidae) (in U.K. English), which is an insect. In Scotland it is also called a "Jenny longlegs".
  • A harvestman (Opiliones) (in American English), which is an arachnid.
  • A Daddy long-legs spider (several Pholcidae, but most often Pholcus phalangioides), which is a true spider.

What they all have in common is extremely long slender legs (that are really really really easy to break off).

Now you may be wondering why the hell I am talking about some stupid bug, but don't underestimate it.

This little things can bench-press 200kg... and they also shoot lasers out of their legs...

Ok, that may have been a lie.  In actual fact, I have NO IDEA why they even exist.  I think it's just god's way of annoying us.  Don't believe me?

Well, they come around this time (the autumn equinox) and what is their purpose?  NOTHING.  I'm not joking and I'm not insane.

They have NO PURPOSE WHATSOEVER.  They just appear this one time in the year, annoy the f*ck out of you then die.  Oh, wait before that they (somehow) managed to mate, between getting squatted and killed by others (including birds, who also like eating them).  So their children can continue their parent's wishes of annoying the f*ck out of you.

Well, anyway it's alright... I guess.  But at least get them to do something productive... like build a wall or something.  Maybe even kick a dog (inside joke for people who went to Wintringham - see everyone else, you're missing out on all the fun.  Go to Wintringham Oasis Academy: Wintringham [joke, don't go there])?


You'll never guessed what happened to me on Halo.

I got accused of BOTING.  For anyone who is not literate in gamer-speak, this means I got accused of using a bot.

...

That didn't help did it?  It's basically... er... using a software that automatically works itself in the game.  Yes, it takes away all the fun of actually playing the game and yes it is cheating.

Anyway, back to the anecdote.  I got accused of boting just because I was raking up kills around the 80/90 region (my record is 94 kills in a single game).  The nerve!

It's funny how people fail to accept that maybe, just maybe, someone can be pretty good at a game (or the other people are sh*t) and can rack up some high kill rates.

Anyway, he was a n00b anyway.

For anyone who doesn't know what a n00b is here's a comic that explains this awfully well:

 

The last panel is 100% true... I think.  I wouldn't know since I'm not a n00b.

And you know what should happen to n00bs (and betrayers... and trolls etc.)?  Well, the following picture explains it a helluva lot better than I could with mere words.  Enjoy.

Oh wait, I failed to show you my reaction to his comments.  I got to say, thinking back it was extremely funny.  First I tried pleasant reasoning (since I am civilised afterall) - I don't even know why, because reasoning doesn't work with n00bs anyway - then I moved onto some gentle scolding.  And eventually I got so bloody tired of his incessant:

"UR BOTIN! UR BOTIN!"

Then I did what the following picture inscribes.  I can't remember what the actual character in the picture is called (Domo?  Domu?  Something like that) but it makes more sense than you think:

You have no idea how satisfying that felt.  It's like I finally taken a burden of my chest...

then shot it multiple times with a rocket launcher, before gathering all the dead decrepit pieces and shooting them again.  Then physically using a sharp jagged rock to grind it into dust and throwing the dust into the ocean.

Ok, enough n00b-bashing.


I just checked the poll set up for the title of the story and it seems "Junction Swords" is in the lead currently; by an ALMIGHTY...

wait for it...

wait for it...

2 VOTES!

Yea, you better believe it.

 

As, anyone who regular checks this  blog (and this should include you) I don't do two consecutive posts with the story.  It's just not my style.  So, you'll have to wait for Gavin to post then me then Gavin then me then Gavin then me then Gavin... and it goes on etc.

So, enjoy the free time that you would be spending reading the story for something more useful.  Like go outside and smell the fresh air, get a hobby or maybe even check up on all the news that has come out of TGS 2007.

Anyway, goodbye and goodnight.

 

Woah, there are like... quite a lot of pictures in this post.

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