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Thursday 13 September 2007

Monkeys...?

Today was my 3rd (official) day at college and so far I'm loving it.  Except for, of course, waking up so damn early.  Which I feel I have touched upon enough - maybe even too much.

Today I started off Maths, which is actually more enjoyable then you think.  The people are friendly and everyone gets along with everyone else - just like brainy people tend to do.  But the pace the course goes at is frightening.  No, seriously it is.  Take, for example, surds.  That particular thing we touched upon in Higher GCSE Maths; that is to say... a WHOLE 9/10 LESSONS OF IT.  And just today we breezed through surds like it was nothing.  It's like comparing a tank with paper.

Then came computing, which is ok could be better, due to it being like the 2nd lesson we did theory and stuff.  Basically going over stuff we learnt in GCSE IT.  Apparently next week were going to start practical with VB.  Seeing as it is college (and it is Grimsby) we're using VB6 (Visual Basic 6).  Now anyone who is into computing in the slightest will know VB6 is an old version.  Surprise surprise.  Microsoft has already moved onto VB.NET due to some inconsistent codes etc.  And to make matters worse, VB6 and VB.NET aren't compatible (well, actually they are... to an extent... a very short extent).  So learning from VB6 may not be the best way...  since it wasn't supposed to be a whole new code anyway.  Or something like that.  You get the idea.

I also saw Alex B today, or 'Blanny' as he likes to be called.  We use to go to primary school together - I'm sure Gavin remembers :P.  Ah, good times.  I remember toying with the younger years (in a non-sexual way, pervert): we would get the basketball and entice them to get it back.  We were like 3 people, and they had about 10.  Yet they ALWAYS fail.  Oh kids, so stupid it's funny.

Then came a big 2/3 break.  Which is frickin' awesome since I can come home and just chill while everyone's stuck at college.  I love home.

Anyway, all that actually has no relation whatsoever to the title.  Let me explain why the title is so...

So, media.  As you may recall from my first day at Franklin that Media kinda sucked.  Too many awkward silences.  This time was different.  It was hard to get us to shut the f*** up.  How am I not surprised?

Anyway, we were tasked with creating a Saturday morning TV show for kids.  Oh, crap.  Yea, you heard that right.  It's actually more fun than you think though.  I was in a team of four with people I have never met before.   And it was enjoyable to say the least.  We warmed (in a non-sexual way) to each other pretty quickly.  And this was the catalyst to the monkey craze:

Dude I can't remember name of:  Hey... we should totally get monkeys to present the show...

We agreed, just because it was amazing.  Who doesn't love monkeys?!

...

On second thoughts, don't answer that.  Anyway, kids like monkeys so there it is.  We were tasked with creating something original, that sounds pretty original to me.

Then things took off, like the industrial revolution things progressed at a staggering pace.  And like any good version of history analogy some ideas were better than others...

There was an idea for a Monkeylympics...  somehow, I have NO IDEA how, it made it into the actual show.  Seriously, don't ask what we were smoking.  It was probably pot anyway.  There was also an idea for 5-a-side Monkey Football.  In the heat of the moment, all these ideas were brilliant.

...

But now that I look back I repeatedly ask:  'WTF were we taking back then?'  This thought is quickly followed by:  'I want some more of that.'

But the only downside to the media lesson turned out to be homework.  Ah yes, the dreaded mortal enemy of the common child.  Any child that does not detest homework or shimmy away at the slightest sound of it is either:

A) Really dumb

B) Has been tied up

C) [Although highly highly highly highly unlikely - I cannot discount this possibility]  They like homework.  Yuck.

D) The child has been raised up 'right'  If you get what I mean.

Anyway, the homework actually really sucks.  We have to write a 300 word essay about Saturday Morning TV kids shows.  And that's not the bit I'm hating!  The real kicker is having to interview a '11-14 year old' about their view on the current shows and what can be done to improve them.  THEN I have to ask older people about the shows in their childhoods and stuff.

Oh crap...

 

Monkeys.


Now, the story.  As you may remember we were being attacked by an army of Strogl.  And Gavin, although he did post, did nothing to further the story - except get us separated.  Great.  No uber-combination attack this time...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I fought for what seemed like an eternity.  Just hacking and slashing my way through the unwavering horde.  No matter how many I cut down more just kept coming, unscared of death.  There were occasional breaks where I could catch my breath quickly - and also see where the others were- by launching myself high into the air.  Gavin & Gimely were not actually that far away.  Lewis was still on his balcony.  Unmoving.

I land back down and stab my sword right through one Strogl's head.  I can see the end come out from under it's chin.  I slash outward to block an oncoming attack, ripping the head in two in the process.

I try to make my way towards the others using my memory, but to no avail.

We were well and truly stuck.  And with the number of enemies unlikely to decrease I had to do something fast.

I couldn't think of anything.

I'm nearing my limit.  I can't hold on much longer.

'If only I had my mech with me...'  I said, between large gasps of air.

The ground started to rumble.  Gently at first.  Then steadily harder.  Eventually everyone stopped to take note of the moving ground.  Even Lewis - who was the supposed evil boss genius person - was unsure with what was happening.

During the rumbles I found my way towards Gavin & Gimely.

'Do you think this is...'  I said.  Then it happened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What happened?

I have no idea.

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