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Wednesday, 19 September 2007

Monkey Pitch

What?!  A monkey pitching in baseball?!

NO!  The title has nothing to do with monkey's playing baseball.


No buts.  Roll the credits.


Er... you don't have credits.


I'll get to the title in due time but I like doing things in chronological ([kron-l-oj-i-kuhl]) order.  If you don't like... tough.  It's my blog and I post things the I like, whenever I like, however I like.

If I really wanted to I could make this whole post dedicated to... er... Manchester (I won't though - it's the first thing I looked at when I was thinking of something).  So, just deal with it.

Anyway, today was a... a... tiring day.  But when is a day not tiring?  This waking up early thing is really not working for me since I'm actually a human equivalent of a nightwalker (if you have no idea what a nightwalker is... you're uber-stupid).

A quick Google search yielded this picture:


That's just in case you want some visual representation of what a nightwalker is; and plus I think I haven't been posting any pictures lately.  I've grown even more lazy.

I didn't think that was humanly possible, but obviously human limits don't apply to me.

But anyway I guess I have transcended the boundaries of normal, day-to-day, human laziness.  Heck, if there was an easy route to do things (and live life) I'll take it.  Unless, of course, it leads to either:

  1. Certain death.
  2. The certain probability of a loss of any of my limbs.
  3. The possibility I'll go insane.
  4. The possibility of losing my head.
  5. The possibility of losing anything.
  6. Me paying large amounts of money.
  7. Me entering hell to retrieve certain artifacts from Hades himself (although I would like to meet Cerberus).
  8. Having anything penetrating my body - in any way.
  9. Having unseen acts happen to me.
  10. Stuff so horrible that my mind is effectively erecting a mental barrier to stop me trespassing further into the thought... *shudder*

There's probably more stuff to it than that.  But you know me... lazy.  And plus, I can probably leave the rest to your imagination.

Oh, great I babbled on again.  I digress.

Anyway, as I was saying:

I got up (reluctantly) and went to college.  All is normal here.  Went to maths.  Everything is still normal.  Rob was late.  Still normal.

You get the idea.  I pretty ordinary day.

Maths was more talking & laughing than any working.  Computing was some work in VB - which I am starting to excel at.  By the way, does any one have a copy of VB that I can have?  So I can study from home.  It's just that I've tried a ton of places and since it's been discontinued, it's f*cking impossible to find.

Anyway, then home.  Oh wait, after talking to Danny and a girl called: Emily, at break.  I couldn't be asked to find anyone else that time.

Yea, so after that I went home.  Did ordinary stuff that an ordinary (no matter how lazy) do.  Then back to college at 2:50.  Now, here's the only bit of the day that was out-of-the-ordinary.  To an extent, you could say it was extraordinary...


yea, extraordinarily CRAP.

No not the lesson, but the work we did.

It was all because of last lesson... media.  Do you remember?  If you don't here's a reminder: Monkeys.

Yea, it was the media lesson that we had to pitch our (monkey) idea for a children's TV show to the rest of the class.  I remembering walking into the class, sitting down and seeing our work from last week.  Here was my first immediate thought:

'Holy f*ck.  What the f*ck were we smoking last time... I wouldn't mind having some now.'

Yea, we literally were "monkeying' around last lesson.  Get it?  Monkey = monkeying.  See what I did there?



Anyway, we had 40 minutes to finish off the details to get ready to pitch to the rest of the class.  Now, our group being who we are (lazy people who don't work) we actually spent most (if not all) of that 40 minutes doing sweet FA.  Oh wait, no we didn't.  We spent most of it making a monkey mask.  LMAO and at the end the monkey mask wasn't that good anyway.

So, then the pitch.  We winged it.  As usual.  And we did quite well, might I add.  Whenever someone couldn't think of anything another person butted in to fill in the holes.  It was like a dream team of... er... pitchers.  Well, except Kenny who spent the vast majority of the pitch just wearing the monkey mask.  LMAO.  There was even a bit when the teacher asked:

'Do you feel stupid wearing that?'

And then came the reply:

'So very much...'  I wasn't sure but I swear I heard a snarl at the end.  Just minutely, but it was still there.

I, having to talk, just pretty much reach from the sheet we knocked up the previous lesson.  When it was time to vote for the best (the best winning some crappy chocolate) we placed a reasonable third.

Now, I may not be a genius (in some respects anyway) even I know that pitching a idea about monkeys to a bunch of your peers may not gain you recognition.  And we went first just so that we could move on from our crappiness quickly.  But obviously it was not the case.  Granted the team that placed last had only two people, but we whooped their ass fair and square anyway.

And also, granted that the method of deducing the winner was... er... shall I say: less than sophisticated.  It was the employment of the Franklin's very-own, one-of-it's-kind, uber-special...



Yea, that was my reaction as well. It was based on the loudness of claps... and the teacher had to figure out who had the loudest claps.  Now, I may be wrong on this but most teachers don't have super sonic frequency hearing that separate between minute differences of loudness in sounds - by the looks of it though, our media teacher does.

Well, according to the CLAP-O-METER (which by the way, I think, is the cheesiest name ever to grace any blog or medium of any-kind) this group with the TV show called 'Zig-Zag' placed first.  And, because we couldn't vote for ourselves, I would agree.  Mainly because they had the swankiest logo, no seriously the logo actually looked professional.  Except maybe for the weird arcs inside the letters - but let's not get into that.

This other team came second (I don't even remember what their show was about) and we came third.  Not a bad result, I guess.  Although in hindsight the monkey idea wasn't the best idea we had... way to far in development of the pitch I thought of a combo that would blow minds.  But alas, it was not to be.  It was too late to add anything.

What was the combo?

Hm... do you really want to know?


You sure?  You're really not scared of my "blowing minds" comment about it?

Er... yea, sure.  Hit me with the combo.


Monkeys.  The original concept...  then...


How about that?

BOOM! *Head explodes*

I hate to say it to your decapitated dead corpse, but I told you so.  :P

Anyway, thinking about it now I could have furthered this idea through a actual 'Ninja Vs Pirates: Monkey Style' thing but oh well.  I just hate that, don't you?  All the good ideas came after you finished doing it.  Like after York we thought of making a stop-motion Lego horror film.  Argh.

Oh crap, I prattled on for way too long.  I digress.  Now lets quickly move onto another subject.

Here's the section that would normally include the story but I've now got into the habit of only posting the story after Gavin posts.  That way there's an equal amount of contribution from each of us.

And plus, I'm lazy.

That's not an excuse for you anymore!  You're always lazy.

Ah touché.  How's this for an excuse:  I've been way too much thinking today (especially about monkeys) and my mind has already exhausted all it's mental resources.  In order for my mind to be able to stimulate again I must gain a certain amount of shut-eye.  The end.

... Meh, I think that's good enough.

Thank you.

Now go on your merry way before I change your mind and digest you alive.


Nevermind.  I was only messing around... fool...

What was that?

Nothing.  Now I think you should just leave.  Now.

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