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Thursday, 9 August 2007

Distinction, distinction, distinction, distinction... you get the idea

Ok, first of all.  We went to play badminton today.  Away from where we usually play, also because there's going to be a tournament there soon.  But enough of that, it was what happened after playing that would probably interest you.

Ok, picture the scene.  I'm sat down on a chair next to Crystal - my cousin, before you get any ideas - in a big sports hall.  Some kids had pumped up a bouncing castle to play with (yes, you heard read that right).  Some other dudes are playing badminton.  And then right next to Crystal and I are two more guys, who arguably were the best badminton players there.  And after playing they're psycho-analyzing each other's play.

Guy #1: You know, your pretty well-rounded.  It's just your serve, you need to work on that.

Guy #2: Yea, I know.  I figured.  I'll be training on that until the competition.

Guy #1: Oh, and you also get agitated easily.  Which messes up your play.

Guy #2: Well kinda.  It's not exactly mardy.

Guy #1: And another thing, you don't give enough feedback-

Guy #2:  *cuts in*  I get it already!  Your problem is your always focusing on analyzing people instead of yourself.

Guy #1:  Told you so.

Guy #2 storms off.

Guy #1:  *turns towards us* What's wrong with him?  Anyway, so about your play-

Me: You know what.  I totally forgot!  *Making all this sh*t up*

Guy #1:  Forgot what?

Me:  I... er... well you see... er... LOOK OVER THERE!  *points behind him*

Guy #1:  What where?  What's happening?  *turns back - sees us running in opposite direction*


Well that's the basic gist.  There was a bit more but it's not really necessary.

Now, onto why the title is thus (thus? *shrugs* meh).  So today I received my Media Certificate.  And it's all good, and I mean that in a literal sense (for once).

I recall posting something along the lines of what I got, but now I have concrete evidence!


Name changed to protect the innocent (namely me).  This is a genuine certificate (copy).

Now, I'm no "Institute examination officer of Edexel Level 2 BTEC First Diploma Of Media" but I'm pretty sure that the Distinctions down the side there (Below grade) are a good thing.  You see, it goes from Fail, Pass, Merit to Distinction.

Then there's the matter of the line underneath the fancy-looking table thingy:


If that's not confirmation I dunno what is.

OMFG!  ZOMG! OMG!  etc. etc.

I've just taken a look at the hit counter on the blog and -as of writing- ... 4190 hits!  We broke the 4000 mark without me being the slightest bit aware of it!

This blog is going places!  (better places)

Now for the story...


'As I was saying.  The earth pretty much got wiped clean.'  Gimely let out a gasp of horror.  'The only places that still have living beings on are on the northern parts of the world and small islands which the aliens didn't bother with.'

I couldn't not ask this question:  'Wait, so does that mean... Nintendo is dead?'

'Unfortunately... yes.'

'Oh my GOD!  The humanity of it all!  The pain!  The horror!  I think a little bit of myself just crapped... then died.'  I felt grief-stricken.

Gavin decided to try and comfort me: 'Dude... you ok?'

'Yea, I'm fine.  I guess we shouldn't dwell on dead stuff to long.'

'Anyway, seeing as your friend is fine from his encounter with the grief monster... I'll explain a few more things to you.'  We nodded in unison.  I had already forgotten about the whole Nintendo fiasco.  'What we're on right now - what we call a "Artificial Cloud" - is called "Elbaf".  It's a tight-neck community of about 1000/2000 people, who protect the Earth when the aliens attack.'

I butted in.  'So there's more people like you?'

'Yea, I guess.  We dub  ourselves "Vikings" because the majority of us come from Scandinavia and have Viking blood coursing through our veins.'  First crazy Japanese people... now Vikings... whatever next.  'Now, onto the aliens.  We first made contact with them in 2035.  It was all kept top-secret by the Americas.  Stupid Americans.  It was finally made known to the public - and wider world - that aliens exist in 2038.  Also in the same year, the aliens sent an alien ambassador to Earth.  The alien was assassinated - to this day we still have no idea who had done it - and they declared war on us.  They call themselves: "Strogl"' Pronounced: Strog-gl.  'In 2040 they launched a full-scale attack and decimated most of the Earth.  The space force also sent an army towards their planet so we were outnumbered in space - we've heard nothing of what's happened to the army that was sent.'

Gimely was curious now.  'So, how in the hell do you 1000/2000 people fight these bad-ass aliens?'

'In the battle of 2040, we captured some aliens to investigate how they work and more importantly: their weaknesses.  Turns out they are weak to a pretty common substance that is of abundance on Earth.  Metals.  But you have to slice their heads clean off for them to die.  So bullets only wound them, therefore we have reverted back to axes, swords and katanas.  Many people aboard this artificial cloud are great swordsmen.  Others blacksmiths.  I'm quite handy with a blade as well.  That's about the whole history of Earth in the last 40/50 years in ten minutes.'

'Earth sure are in some dark times...'


As if Nintendo is dead... :(

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