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Wednesday, 1 August 2007


So, today was pretty normal.  For me anyway.

Let's just say at around 7pm I found myself atop a steel roof - which was pretty unsturdy by the way - and holding a badminton racket.  Trying to hit shuttlecocks.


I suppose now you'll have to hear the long-winded, generally awesome story that got me there.


Well, it all started...  when the little'uns decided to go play badminton in the garden.  All was fine and dandy.  Until they came in about half an hour later.

'Er... we kinda... hit all the shuttlecocks onto the roof.'

'What all of them?'


Lemme tell you, we gave them quite a lot of shuttlecocks.  But, ingeniously, we gave them crappy ones.  Hooray for hindsight!  Is it hindsight?  Whatever.

Anyway, all you need to know is... I went up onto the roof using the ladder.  As I said, a steel unsturdy roof.  It literally creaked everytime I took a step.  Didn't stop me though.  I got all the shuttlecocks off the roof, except one.  There's always one that eludes my grasp.  It was just out of reach on the drain on the slanted roof of the storeroom.  If I wasn't wearing sandals at the time I probably could have got it.  I was thinking of what I could do at the time:

  1. Jump and attempt to reach it... then probably fall and break my neck
  2. Use a long pole to attempt to 'poke' it out of the drain
  3. Attempt to crawl across the roof and steadily reach out for it
  4. Break out the mountain climbing gear
  5. Grow wings and fly over there

I went with option number 2.  Although 4 & 5 wear tempting me a lot.  I decided to use my powers for good, and more important things.

So, I got my sisters to pass up a long pole to attempt to poke it out.  For the next few minutes, I poke at it.  Causing it to get further away.  What makes it worse was that it was slowly getting poked under the roof.  Because the drain was under the roof (to catch the water) it slowly got pushed under.  Damn.

Eventually I gave up and assessed my options again.  I had thought up some more by this time.

  1. Jump and attempt to reach it... then probably fall and break my neck
  2. Use a long pole to attempt to 'poke' it out of the drain
  3. Attempt to crawl across the roof and steadily reach out for it
  4. Break out the mountain climbing gear
  5. Grow wings and fly over there
  6. Rip off the roof with my extraordinary strength
  7. Get angry and 'Hulk Smash' the roof into submission
  8. Give up

I chose 8.  Duh.

It was a crappy shuttlecock anyway.

The story now...  I'm stuck (again).

Our heroes had returned home to a quiet house.  And begin to live some (relatively) normal lives again.

'WAKE UP!'  Gimely shouted.

'Five more minutes...'  I said, dosing off to sleep.  I felt cold water hit my face.

I sat up instantly.  Wide-awake now.  'What was that for?'

'For not waking up!'  Gimely replied furiously.  'I've been trying to get you up for centuries!'  That was an exaggeration.

I murmur quietly: 'Geez, for a penguin you sure are a hot-head.'

'What was that?!'

'Nothing.'  I look away, acting casual.

Gavin enters the room and sits at the end of the bed.  I'm sat upright now, propped against the headboard.  He speaks:  'It's about time you wake up.'

'Why?  It's still early...'  I look towards my clock.  3pm.  Yea, still early.

'Dude.  It's 3pm.  That's late even for Satan.  And he's suppose to be the root of all evil.'

'Wait a second.  What's being evil got to do with sleeping late.  If you think about it... evil people probably get up earlier than most, to execute their devilish, fiendish, uber-plans.'  I rub my head.  Damn,  migraine.

Gavin sighs.  'That's not exactly what I was getting to.  But you've got a point.'  At this point I attempt a high-five.  Gavin ignores it.  'Just get up already.  It's about the mechs...'

'Mechs?  What's wrong with them?  I made sure they were hidden very well last night.'  Very well was emphasised for emphasis.

'Oh really.  Look outside.'  Gavin points towards my window.  The curtains are closed.  He walks over and opens them out.  I retract from the sunlight like a vampire.  He opens the window and I finally notice the hustle and bustle from outside.

I walk over and peer outside.  'Fu*k.'

There was a sea of people, no an ocean of people outside.  Surrounding the mechs.  Kids playing around them, families taking pictures.  I noticed a Japanese family, especially keen on taking as many pictures of the mech as possible.  At that moment, a news van also pulled up.  And then, others started to gather.

'So much for hiding them well.'   Gavin points towards the mechs and they were exactly where I put them.

They were still covered in the cloth I draped over them.  Although I remembered that the cloth was not really big enough for the mechs, but meh.  And plus, it was about dinner time then.

Now that I look, the cloths were way to small.  The bottom half of the mechs were still showing.


Gavin gave me "that" look.  You know the look, you've bound to have come across it before.  Like when you've done something wrong and someone wants to tell you off, but cba.

'Did you really think that humans were so stupid that they wouldn't notice a 300/400 feet thing was protruding out of the ground, half-draped with cloth?'  He asked, I detected some sternness in his voice.

'Er... yes.  It happens all the time in movies and TV.  Like in War of the Worlds.'  I say, trying to break eye contact.  I fail.

'Have you even see War of the Worlds?'


A pause happens.  People carry on their business outside, but for me it seemed like they weren't there.

'So, what do we do?'  Gavin asks.  Still giving me the "look."

'I suggest moving them out of there.'

'I know that.  But we'll be seen getting into the cockpits.'

'Unless...'  I devilish grin appears across my face.

What do I have in mind?

I dunno.

But Gavin will have to think about it!

Oh and Gavin.  Good for you!  Family days out together!

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