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Saturday, 25 August 2007

It seems I've done a "naughty"

Ooooh dear.

Last night, when I was writing my debut post, it seems my sister was reading over my shoulder and saw the part where I happened to say she did piss poor on her GCSE's.
She didn't actually, it was a joke in very poor taste.
She did the best of her abilities and I to mine, but mine were just better.
Okay, this just sounds even worse.
Either way, there's a guilty conscience that needs to be relieved and a bad feeling that will mull over in a couple of days, I hope.

Oh, I've got a photo from year 9 (I thought it was 8, but Belcher corrected me yesterday) where ..well, everyone looks young :)
I'll just scan it.

Let's see. L-R: Laura, Larissa, Josh, Belcher, Gavin, Lewis, Ashey and Kris at the front. Oh, and that's Sami right on the edge :)


So the thing is, I was thinking of using my advantage of being a girl to explain the complexities that is girl, like.. all the areas that are a cause for concern.
And I'm going to be completely honest, completely.
I'll start with rivalry, because it leads to some of the really bad parts of being a girl.
Now, while everyone is (more or less) 16, there's a lot of rivalry going around with girls but more specifically about boys. And you can really feel it. Because I'm in a pretty closed-circuit group of boys and girls, there's concentrated competition.

Let's take our parties for example, if another girl looks nicer or reveals a bit more flesh than another, she will bitch her down behind her back to make herself feel better. I'm not sure how it works exactly, but it's like a comfort thing and also an attention thing; you draw attention to yourself by saying mean things about someone and you also feel better about yourself. I'm not sure why girls bitch about each other, maybe it's something to do to pass the time or it's just a dirty habit. Either way, it's human nature strangely enough. So people bitch about you, you feel bad about yourself and start to think of ways to change that, many go for their weight and starve themselves/purge. Some even self harm, the worst form of expression and release in my opinion. I've been there, it's not pretty or glamorous, I have a neat little scar to prove it so.

It's a shame really. It's like that quote: 'Women would rule the world if we didn't hate each other"

Going back to my rivalry concept, if one girl appears to be getting along with a guy, you can bet that another will try and sabotage it to have him for herself. It's very interesting really, kinda like Animal Planet :)

Another thing about girls liking guys is that we read between lines that possibly aren't there. example.. Oh! I have a friend from Wales who liked a guy from school, talked to him on the Internet a lot and they were quite flirty. She assumed that he liked her and jumped on the chance, started to develop some serious feelings for the poor sod (slight nod at Seamus Heaney) but then found out she'd read it wrong (very wrong indeed) and got herself hurt. Or should I say, hurt herself, along with all the embarrassment from wasting her time.
So the trick is to either be blunt (if you're not interested!) and stop the poor thing from getting hurt too much, because the guy was really embarrassed about it too. Or to avoid situations similar for the rest of your life and live without intimacy. Funfunfun.

So there's rivalry, and it's really hard to deal with especially if your self esteem isn't exactly tip-top. For example, some girls receive less intimate attention than others and it makes them feel bad about themselves. But that's not to say you should go around screaming 'you're beautiful' to everyone, Mika did that quite well.

My heart goes out to those lost in the shuffle.

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