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Friday, 3 August 2007


In March of 2007, a horrible addiction spread across the internet... it was like a virus.

Causing many to become insane and many more to be morbidly addicted...

That thing is...

Desktop Tower Defense

Sorry, just wanted a more intense opening. Instead of: 'hey, remember DTD?'

Anyway, I brought this subject up because of one thing. Guess who got into the Multiplayer BETA?

Yes, me.

And it's been pretty frickin' awesome. The layout is good, crisp and clean. Not to cluttered. The community seems (relatively - there will always be spammers etc.) friendly. And the game... well, about that.

I logged in did everything the email told me to do. Hotly anticipating my first MPDTD game... then I was greeted by this screen:

Unfazed, I tried again. The same thing happened.

Now, I know it's a BETA and all. But, that's kinda sucky. I love the DTD game and I couldn't wait for the multiplayer - hey there are SUPER POWERS.

So. I can't play.

Which sucks.

It's like the 'blue screen of death.' Except in this case... the 'Red letters of death' or something like that. I've never been good at making names up.

I've emailed Dave or 'Critters' and hopefully all of this will be fixed. Hopefully. Meanwhile I'll just whine to myself and figure out why God hates me.

Oh, and the super powers.

Here is what the instructions say about them:

Super Powers

There are 5 super powers that players can use if they are playing with the Super Power option turn on. The powers are:

* Lights Out.
This makes the screen go dark and makes it difficult for the player affected to control their towers.

* Gold-lock.
This power locks a player's gold so that they cannot upgrade, buy or sell towers for a period of time.

* Silence.
This power stops all of an opponent's towers of a particular type from firing.

* Defend.
This power defends yourself from being attacked by other players for 40 seconds.

* Nuke
This power will kill ALL the creeps on your map. (Except Spawns which will just split)

That's pretty good for a BETA. There should be more in the final build.

Now, let's move on from my obsessive talk about DTD.

The story...

We may have won the battle but the war is yet to begin...

'Hurry up!' Gimely shouted at me as I was spaced out. I shook my head to get rid of such ludicrous thoughts. There can't be any more of these people... there just can't be.

'I'm coming!' I said as I ran over to where the others are. They were discussing where to hide the mechs.

Gavin started to talk when I got close. 'Ok. So, so far we've got the following ideas: underground-'

'Like in Thunderbirds.' Gimely butted in quickly.

Gavin continued: 'Yes, like in Thunderbirds. The other option is in a giant warehouse.'

I joined into the conversation: 'I reckon my "cloth-draping" idea was not bad, it was just that the cloth wasn't big enough.' Gavin and Gimely shot me a glare. I quickly changed subject. 'And anyway. There are problems with your ideas. Firstly, underground. How the hell we gonna do that? And secondly, in a giant warehouse. Where is the warehouse? How we gonna pay for renting the warehouse?'

We looked at each other quizzically and shrugged. We sat there for quite some time, pondering what we could do with them. We were also looking out for any people who may want to check out the mechs. Strangely, none came.

'I've got it!' I shouted as I sprang to my feet and ran towards the mechs.

'Got what? An idea?' Gavin said as he also jumped to his feet and followed. Gimely was also not far behind.

I entered the cockpit of my mech and looked at the control panel.

'It's got to be here somewhere...' I said as I looked around.

Gavin had also entered his mech and Gimely had joined me in mine.

'What you looking for?' Gavin asked as his picture came up on screen.

'Just gimme a sec... Ah! Here it is!' I looked at the button and thought: Why had we not seen this before?

I pressed the button. It was a blue button and above it in small black writing was the words: "Hide"

The mech shook.

'What's happening over there?' Gavin asked.

I looked outside and we were getting lower. Closer and closer to the ground we went...

'OMFG! That was frickin awesome!' Gavin shouted from the screen up front.

I was also gobsmacked and couldn't make anything come out of my mouth. Gimely was in a similar position. The previously alien console now turned into a familiar sight to me. It was that of one inside a car. A pretty awesome one at that.

I got out using what looked, no was, a car door. Gimely was still in there. Unmoving. His jaw locked in place at what just happened.

I stared at what the mech had become. A car. A awesome looking sport car.

Gavin had now resorted to shouting at the screen to get our attention. I leaned back into the car and said: 'Press the blue button under the word "hide"'.

He did as he was told. I could tell. His mech metamorphisised right in front of my eyes. It started to look like putty... and was in a pile on the floor. I could see Gavin inside clearly. Then it started to materialize into a shape of a car.

When the transformation had finished, Gavin got out and marveled at his new vehicle.

They were the same brand and type. The only difference was in colour. Mine was black all around. While Gavin's was metallic silver.

'Solves our problems, dunnit?' I said to Gavin.

He didn't reply.

Awesome transformation!

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