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Wednesday, 4 July 2007

Kung Fu Jimmy Chow - DS Power

Because I am lazy - here is the video description *SPOILER ALERT*: 'This episode of this anime-inspired series opens with exciting kung fu master Jimmy Chow and Rainboow Ren, a young miniskirt wearing teen blogger, confronting a giant robot. After the robot utterly crushes a threesome of hot teen fangirls, Jimmy engages the 10-story robot. The epic battle is watched from afar by Jimmy Chow's buxom arch-nemesis, the Purple Lady, as well as her stinky mentor, the Master Joon-Ri (who is enjoying a maple scone from a local coffee franchise) and the cruel head-biting monkey. Though Jimmy Chow is bloodied and in the grip of the mighty robot, his blood acts as a lubricant that allows him to slip free and attempt to defend Rainbow Ren. Alas, after a cameo by internet viral video sensation "Dramatic Chimpunk", Jimmy Chow lays bloodied and seemingly defeated on the sidewalk outside a convenience store. Could this be the end of our hero, the exciting kung fu master Jimmy Chow?'  *END SPOILER*

Well, what can I say.  TOTALLY AWESOME.  Using his own blood as a lubricant?  Jimmy Chow never fails to amuse (and in this case educate) me.  AND a purple giant ten-story high mecha robot?!  What else could I ask for?

Basically you take mecha, kung fu, a head-biting monkey throw it all into one thing and you get Kung Fu Jimmy Chow.

All they need now is for Jimmy Chow to somehow revive - he will it's like anime/show law.  Apart from Chrono Crusade and some others.  Then to totally beat the mecha robot.  Then for the robot to power up somehow and still get own3d.  Utterly magical.

Oh and I went to town today.  Finally.  And bought a DS.  Yes, I had succumb to the might of the DS.

And it looks totally awesome too.  Currently it's charging.  It's a black DS lite.  And it looks amazing.  My only downer on it, is it's shining surface.  It looks totally awesome and all.  But attracts dust like a dust magnet.  All those dust bunnies just like shiny surfaces I guess.

Carrying on with the story.  Still yet to have a name.  Maybe just leave it without one.  Meh.

I was knocked out in the previous post.  What happens now?  Can I wake up to help Gavin?  Or will Gavin perish at the hands of the ever-so-evil Kate and her bitch: Ashley?  Find out in your daily fix of this awesome story...

WTF am I?   Am I dead?

'Wake up, you idiot!'

Hey, isn't that Lewis' voice.  Haha, that dude lost his best friend.  Am I hearing his voice because he killed himself?

'Hurry!  Gavin can't hold out for long!  You dolt!  WAKE UP!'

I felt a cold hand hit me.

I wake up startled.  Sweat pouring down my forehead.

'What the hell happened?'  I turn towards Lewis.  Lift up a inquisitive eye brow and say: 'Why the hell you here?'

'Long story short-'  Lewis began.

'Don't say it.'

'Fine.  Mean as ever, I see.  So your back.'

'I don't think we have time for such pleasantries.'  I looked toward Gavin.

'We.  As in Gavin, I presume.'

I leapt to my feet.  I still felt a little drowsy but I think I could carry on regardless.  Our ninja training left me in much worse condition.  Especially that time when we had to run up that side of the mount-


I rushed toward the ongoing battle shouting at the top of my lungs: 'FOR FREEDOM!'

Why'd I say it?  I dunno.  Sounded right to.  Plus, I had to shout something.  Would it have suited you better if I shouted: 'FOR BUTTERED TOAST!'?

Both of them (Gavin & Kate) looked towards me.  Their faces changed immediately.  Gavin's into relief and Kate's into shock/horror.

'You're quite resilient for a mere human.'  Kate snickered.  Her voice as dry and hoarse as ever.

'Heh.  I'm made of stuff a lot stronger than you are.'  Which made sense really.  Because sand isn't that strong.  I think.  But her sand-based properties meant hitting and slashing does nothing to her.  I ended up at Gavin's side.  He was breathing quite heavily.

Think.  Think.  What would Nelson Mandela do?

'Took your time didn't you?  Buddy.'  Gavin said between his deep breaths.  He's breathing was beginning yo return back to normal.

'Yea.  Sorry about that.  Was - you know - a little busy.  With being unconscious and all.  But all in all no big deal.'

Kate attacked.  No time to exchange witty banter now.  We dodged.  I jumped right.  Gavin jumped left.  We danced around Kate easily.  Her attacks had slowed, probably because she had been using to much energy controlling her tentacles of sand.  But they haven't slowed by much.

We joined forces in a pincer attack.

'APPLE PIE PANINI!'  Gavin shouted simultaneously.

My two katanas cut through her head and torso horizontally.  While Gavin cut her at the waist and at the knees.


'Any ideas?'  Gavin asked.  He was becoming breathless again.  So was I.

'Yes.  But I have no idea where to get a steamroller...'

'Any ideas that are viable in this situation?'

'Oh.  Nope.'

We jumped apart to avoid a swipe made by Kate's tentacles.  It was pretty much a stalemate.  We couldn't hurt Kate.  Kate couldn't hit us.

If only we know her weakness.  There has got to be something.

I peered over my shoulder for a brief glimpse at Gimely.  He was fine.  Still dueling Ashley.  He still retained the upper hand.  But Ashley could take a helluva lot of punishment.

I blocked another of Kate's attacks.  Slicing the tentacle cleanly in half, only for it to reform behind me and try to attack my back.  I avoided it with ease.

Another look over my shoulder, showed Lewis no longer where he was before.  I scanned quickly.  And saw him, deeper into the jungle now.  Doing his 'business.'

I jumped up to avoid another attack.  Focusing back on Kate showed that she had sprouted some more tentacles.  She now looked like some demented octopus that had managed to fuse together with other octopuses (octopi?) and there were tentacles everywhere.

Think.  Weak point.  Sand.  Weak point.

DAMN!  While I was thinking I managed to get hit by one of Kate's tentacles.  I flew a fair distance.  And landed next to Lewis.  Who was luckily peeing the other way.

'WJUK.  YOU ALRIGHT?'  I heard Gavin say from the destroyed clearing.

Kate's reach was long.  Her tentacles catched up to me in no time.  I used Lewis as a temporary shield, he wasn't happy.  His peeing got pretty erratic.  Some landed on the trees, some landed on the ground.  And some landed on the tentacles.

They immediately turned a darker colour and fell to the ground.  It seems when water is added to Kate's sand it becomes to heavy to move.  There's the weakness.

I rushed back into the clearing dragging Lewis behind me - for the record, he was still peeing; he didn't like it.  To see Gavin and Kate still fighting.  For now, Kate seems totally immersed in fighting Gavin.  Good.

What happens next?  How does WJUK mean to use Lewis' urine to defeat Kate?

Find out next time.

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