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Sunday, 15 July 2007

No rest for the wicked...

Well, I got back home at 6:15 today and I am shattered.  I'll run you through what I did today:

Approx. 10:00 - Woke up (against my will)

11:15 - Set off

11:50 - Arrived at School (where I was going to play badminton); started to play badminton

2:40 - Finished playing badminton.  Went to the party (yea, they were having a party as well.  Awesome, right?).  Ate some food.

3:20 - Went to grandmas house.

4:00 - Brought the kids (not mine, my uncle's) to the park.

5:15 - Set off for home

6:15 - Arrived home, fell onto couch.

Funny thing too.  Because my older uncle just had a baby (about 7 weeks old now) - which means he has 3.  Yea, insane.  And the younger uncle is expecting one soon.  In about 2/3 months.  Must be a good season to have babies (or bambinos if you are from Italy).

What makes this doubly worse is I'm playing badminton again tomorrow.  Talk about an active lifestyle.  (Yea, it may come to a shock to you that I don't just sit at the computer doing sh*t or playing video games)

I guess I should carry on the story...

I should really get another author so I have to type less.  Me thinks.

After defeating the big-ass crocodile, we decided (or that weird magician dude did) that we should set off.  To defeat the Demon King.  Sounds cliched, dunnit?

'We'll be taking out leave now.'  I said while doing a short bow to the emperor.

'Good good.  Just promise me one thing.'  He replied sternly.


'Don't die.'  With that he burst out laughing.  I could hear Lewis *gulp*ing behind me.

'Don't worry. We don't die easily.  Which I'm sure we proved.'

'Of course.  I just thought I should lighten the mood.  It was getting a bit heavy.This emperor is insane...

Gavin placed a hand on my shoulder.  'We must leave now while the sun is still high in the sky.'  Gavin said from behind me.

'Let's go-'

'WAAAIIITTTT!'  Someone cried from behind the emperor.  Oh no.  Not him.  It can't be...

From out of no where the magician person appeared and said:  'I'm coming with you.'

We were flabbergasted.  In all honesty we didn't want him to come along.  Lewis was enough trouble already.  But we were too kind and gentle people to show it.

'Well...  you see...  there's gonna be lots of dangers...  and your not exactly young anymore-'  I began.  Gavin butted in.

'Basically, your old and feeble.  We don't want you tagging along and being a hindrance.'  Ok, my mistake.  I am too kind and gentle to show it.

'Hmph.  I think you'll find that I can still do a lot of things.  And I am well versed in the art of magic.'

Lewis leaned forward and whispered into my ear.  'He's got a point there.  He save out bacon in the last fight.'

I sighed.  'I guess.  Only if you promise not to slow us down.'  I pointed at him menacingly.  Or I hoped what was menacingly.

'No promblemo.'  He cried out in joy.

'Oh, and don't say that ever again.  I hate that.'  I spat out.

'No problem-'  He quickly closed his hand over his mouth.  Then lifted up his hand into a sign.  OK.  He signaled.

With that we sent out with our provisions in check.  The emperor kindly lent us all the food we needed to last quite a long amount of time - plus we could always hunt for stuff.  He also lent us some transport for the long journey - including 4 horses and 3 donkeys.

We traveled for about 3 hours - judging by the sun's change in position.  Then Lewis spurted out - as he was drinking some water at the time of this.

'LOOK!  A grapepopotamus*!'  His face looked more like a person in frenzy than anything else.

'Grapepopotamus?  There's no such thing as-'  I was turning my head while saying this.  I stopped dead in my tracks - both literally and figuratively as the horse stopped as well.

Sure enough beside this lake was a grapepopotamus.  Lewis probably made that name up on the fly.  But it fits well.  It was resting just on the bank of the lake.  Near some bushes of long grass.

'Holy crap.  That's frickin' awesome.'  I heard Gavin say.  'I wonder if it's tasty...'

The grapepopotamus may have heard Gavin say it, because he leaped - rather dexterously back into the water.  He sank underneath and we didn't see him anymore.

'That was your fault that it went.'  Lewis accused Gavin harshly.

'Sure.  'Cos grapepopotamuses** understand English.'  Gavin replied, just as harsh.

For the rest of the day (which was a good 6/7 hours) all I heard was: 'You fault.'  'Not.'  'Your fault.'  'Not.'

Although there was no fighting.  The closest they got to combat was attempting to throw bacon at each other.  I have no idea where they got the bacon, cos I sure didn't have any.

*Grapepopotamus - A hippopotamus with some funny-looking grapes on it's back.

**Not sure about the plural of  grapepopotamus.  I have narrowed it down to the following:

1) Grapopotamuses
2) Grapopotamusai
3) Grapopotamuseseses

Now, I'm not sure which is correct.  Maybe someone can confirm.


If you don't believe me (or have no creative tendencies or imagination at all).  Here is an enclosed picture of the grapepopotamus taken from the encyclopedia of encyclopedic things of Messed-up Feudal Time Japan:

Oh, and sorry.  This was the best picture I can get.  Try and imagine it without the arrow planted into it's forehead and without the... er... weird pokemon (?) eating it.  Oh, and alive.  Imagine that too.


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