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Monday, 23 July 2007

What he said...

In the hustle and bustle of today, I almost forgot to blog.

*smacks forehead*

Anyway. During my absent-minded adventuring and generally doing nothing today, we passed 3000 hits!

Yipee! Hooray! Huzzah! Hallelujah! GAWD-BOMB! BANZAI! Awesome! Etc.

We're taking this blog to the next level. After this, I'm thinking...


Obviously first I'd need to find a sponsor. Then amass a army of (preferably giant, scary-looking) demons. And have a giant, mecha, robotic battlesuit (just imagine the ones from Supreme Commander - but more awesome).

Then I'd also need a plan. Preferably one that was not drawn up by a five-year-old child. No matter how intelligent my advisors say he is. And in the plan, the last step will be something easy. Something like: 'Push the Button.' Instead of all those ridiculously long last steps of evil genius plans.

Oh and I totally need a council. What will they do? Nothing. They're just there for my amusement. I call all the shots. But after taking over the world, it makes it look like I think things through with this (rather) intelligent council. It'll be like the Jedi Council from Star Wars. Aliens like Yoda, that other funny-looking alien dude, and that other funny-looking alien. And of course: Mace Windu. The black guy.

Anyway, I've rambled on for long enough. These plans are meant to be kept secret.

It's the story again.

We were last seen fighting. Read Gavin's previous post.

I was fighting DK (not Donkey Kong, you dumbass). And I had to concentrate on him and only him. Or else I will definitely lose.

I got 'in the zone.' I became aware of my surroundings. My sense heightened. I could feel the roughness of my swords hilt in my hands. The cold air blowing from the east meant I could smell the DK clearly. He stank. Like somebody decided to put a giant block of cheese out in the sun, and wait a month or so then throw it into a big pile of stinking garbage.

Then I noticed Gavin joining in the battle. It seemed he has already dispatched Jill. If only she thought things through a little more.

'How you doing?' Gavin said as he joined in.

'Not too good. This dude has no openings.' I said, breathlessly.

'What're we meant to do?' Gavin shouted as he back-flipped over a sword swipe.

'HAHA! You'll never defeat me! No one can! I am the Demon King! All must bow down to me!' The DK shouted in a battle cry. It scared the living bejeebus out of Lewis. His voice was close to that of a reptiles - not that I've heard any reptiles talk lately. It just did.

'Any ideas?' Gavin cried.

'Just one. And it's-' I dodged another sword swipe. '-risky.'

'We haven't got a choice.'

'I know.' I shouted back. Then I momentarily looked towards Glen who backed up a bit, then turned my head back to the attacker. 'Glen! We need some magical support!'

Glen moved forward. His legs were shaking. He started to chant: 'He-thwe-delah-gai-she-' He stopped shaking. 'nu-RAE!'

A fireball of gargantuan size shot out from the palm of his hand. And hit the surprised King in the side.

Me and Gavin rushed. We didn't need to be told. It came with battle experience. We delved into the remaining flames. Hacking and slashing as we went.

The Demon King cried in horror. Getting progressive louder.

A tail then came shooting out of the flames. WT-. All thought was knocked out of me.

It hit me and Gavin.

'RAAARRR!' The thing cried out from the flames.

The flames started dissipating. Revealing more reptilian skin.

'That's not right. The black flames shouldn't burn out until teh target is dead.' Glen said, he pondered.

By now we were back on out feet. 'Got any healing spells?' I shouted towards Glen. I counted the damage. I got 2, no, 3 broken ribs. Gavin was in a similar situation.

'As a matter of fact, yes I do.' Glen closed his eyes. Remembering the spell.

'Hurry up...' Gavin ushered him.

The flames were pretty much gone now and it revealed a different thing. The Demon King was now an actual T-Rex. Except of course that he had three horns on his head and was exceptionally larger. His back also had spikes running down the spine, right to the tail.

'I remember now! Flu-tosen-shri-commen-la-guan-'

The flames were now totally gone. The DK looked around fazed, but obviously still with his wits about him.


It saw us. Hurt. Using each other for support.

It smiled. The smile came to haunt me forever.

It's smile distorted the face beyond ugliness. Way beyond.

It charged.

'GLEN! HURRY UP! NOW!' I shouted. Spitting out blood in the process.


The DK was now just ahead of us. We had a few seconds. It lowered his head. Showing the three horns. Aiming straight for our vitals.

He was there, right in front of us.


Is it too little too late for our band of heroes. Does the DK strike the final blow before Glen has a chance to heal the two? Find out in the coming days.

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