It's probably something so horrifying that my mind has needed to 'lock away and throw away the key into a bottomless chasm of self-depravation and regret' these thoughts so my mind needn't be shattered into millions of teeny tiny, hurtful pieces. So, yea. I think it's for the good.
Oh and I just saw this on the news and it's on my mind; so I thought I'd talk a bit about it.
What? Me watching the news? Me actually aware at current events?
WTF happened at the party? You may be asking...
No no, it's nothing like that. At least I don't think so... I'm not sure about my subconscious though, it's (although I'm convinced a lot of times it's 'his') thoughts always elude me.
Anyway, back on-topic. It was something about sexual predators and pedophiles using the internet. Turning teen websites, such as TeenSpot and MySpace, into a dirt-infested, sexual predator playground of... er... sex.
And the government is issuing laws to toughen rules and restrictions on 'sites that have young users' so that they won't be as exposed. That's bullsh*t.
Have you seen the 'ultimate fail-safe that kids won't see NSFW stuff' on mature sites? It's basically the following (or a variation of it):
Are you over 18 (or 21, depends):
Ok, I'm no rocket scientist (despite many people saying so) but that's not exactly going to stop kids from entering mature sites. Come on. It's literally as easy as pressing: 'Yes'
Hell, I think a lot of adult sites fail to do even that.
If they can't improve that, then what's the point of doing all this business about censorship and banning accounts or whatever.
Basically it's the actual kids and parents faults. Firstly, if your so stupid that you get lured in by a simple 'oh wow, u luk awesome' or 'u is 1337' then your an idiot. And I've seen cases (yea, no joke) where the person is tricked like this (names are changed for protection of innocent):
Child_ X: Hey, people! I'm new and I'm a child.
Big_Mean_Predator_man: Wot's your address and personal details?
Child_X: Oh, here they are...
If that's not stupid, I don't know what is.
Anyway, I've ranted enough about this abhorrent situation that could probably be resolved if the internet was destroyed in one, big, malicious, mal-ware, ad-ware, virus, Trojan attack which means the world is forever plunged into darkness, due to the virus affecting the sun attack... *sigh*
But I don't want that to happen.
I bet you never knew I had a serious side, right?
The story... right.
|My hand hovers over the black button with the skull on it...|
I held my breath...
'WTF? That was lame.' I sighed. 'Gavin, that sucked.'
'I guess yours doesn't have an awesome-' He couldn't finish. The weird voice butted in again.
'TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE INITIATED'
'WTF? Transform? Yea! That's what I'm talking about! It'd be just like in the movie!' I manage to shout out in the brief pause, the voice continued.
'SUIT CHOSEN... SPEED-SUIT.' I'm not criticizing the people who made these mechas, but that's a pretty crappy name for such an awesome thing.
With that the view changed from the cockpit. A clear plexi-glass visor was placed over the robots eyes I was viewing from. It displayed all manners of information about the stuff around me. It showed that the DK had a vital weakness in his armour. The intersection where his tail joins with his body.
'SPEED INCREASE 2000%' Then the voice stopped talking. I could see a bar come up on screen labeled 'Speed' and it continued to rise to the top.
'Right. If what the weird robot voice said was right... then I should be able to do this!'
With that I jolted a movement that landed me right behind the DK.
Gavin managed to let out a 'WT-' and before he was finished I sliced the DK's tail right off. With ease.
I looked down at my swords and they had turn an eerie shade of blue, and were whipping about incessantly. So much, in fact, that they were almost a blur.
'How the hell did you do that? Your mecha has changed it's look as well! It's now kinda blue-ish.' Gavin asked.
'Big black button with a skull on.' I replied calmly, and a little smug - but I hid this.
'That's frickin awesome. Totally need this robot to do this.'
It looked like Gavin had also pressed a button, and they same 'TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE INITIATED' voice came out. Proceeded with the same things afterwards. Except, instead of saying 'SPEED-SUIT' it said 'POWER-SUIT'
The DK, meanwhile, was still worried about his tail. But it had started to grow back. It was already grown back halfway already! Yet, it looked like it took some time and concentration to achieve this remarkable feet.
'We've got to end this now!' I told Gavin. I looked over at his mecha and his now looked red-ish. He moved forward a step and produced cracks on the floor.
'Sweet! Let's get this over with! You hit him from behind, I'll tackle the front of him!' Gavin shouted at me. I simply nodded and jumped right behind the DK.
'This is the end for you.' I said calmly, as the DK looked up. His face terrified.
I sliced cleanly again where his tail joined his body. He let out an almighty cry of terror. And before he could stop Gavin had plowed through him in an unstoppable charge.
'That was kinda easy.' Gavin said.
'Yea, it was. With these awesome mechs.' I "powered-down" the suit and leapt out.
Gavin did the same.
We walked back over to the others, who were stood there. Wide-eyed, jaws-dropped.
Lewis was struggling to speak. Gimely meanwhile looked like he was in the middle of a heart-attack.
'Ah-ha-hi-ha-ho' Gimely was struggling to speak. His breathing erratic. He finally calmed down, and said: 'HOLY FU*K THAT WAS AWESOME!'
We agreed and people gathered around us. It was as if that was a signal for celebration to begin.
Another party, huh? I don't mind...
I guess Elbaf will have to wait...
UPDATE: Well, here is the only picture I've been sent of the party. Either the people with cameras have some inexplicable reason why all their cameras all just suddenly stopped working... Or they're all just lazy fu*kers. I think it's the latter.
As you can see in the picture. Gavin is pissed out of his mind, and is drinking Carlsberg which he swears on his face of his mother that he cannot remember doing. I'm generally enjoying myself. While Kate... she's really enjoying herself.
You wouldn't like to see what's happening underneath...
Kate's going to kill me.